Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Worried sick about my daughter's friend

10 replies

GirlMumof2 · 15/07/2025 12:16

My daughter told me something last week and it’s got me worried sick. I’m at a total loss for what to do so any advice would be appreciated.
I was chatting with my 12 year about the school holidays and she mentioned that her friend, let’s call her Zara, said that she wasn’t looking forward to them. Obvousely this sounded a bit odd so I asked her why not. She told me that they had been chatting about the end of school when Zara got really quiet and reserved. Zara told my daughter that her parents are making her attend a summer camp just outside of London for a few days in August, but that she doesn’t want to go. My daughter asked Zara why not and she said that she doesn’t like the attention she gets from some of the male counsellors and that she feels really uncomfortable. Obviously, this didn’t sit right with me so I approached her mum who I’m friendly with, and shared with her what Zara had confided in my daughter. Her mum, who is usually really lovely, basically blew me off and told me not to worry. When I pressed the issue, she said that the summer camp is culturally important to her community and shut down any further discussion. I have no idea what to do. I understand that there are cultural differences and that that is something that we need to be sensitive and respectful of, but I’m worried sick. I don’t want to interfere or be insensitive, but what if something awful happened to this girl and potentially other children at this camp and she’s being sent back to her abusers this summer? What if some kind of grooming situation is happening there? The camp’s organizers are of a different religion and ethnicity and I really don’t know how to approach the issue, especially after talking to her mum. I also did some digging and its turns out that camp is run by an organization and charities registered with the Chairty Commission, but then I saw some buzz online about the charity’s potential links to a foreign country that’s been all over the news recently. I’m worried about going to the police and the backlash it could cause for Zara. She’s one of my daughter’s best friends. I would really appreciate any advice. How can I help her?

OP posts:
EternalLodga · 15/07/2025 12:17

Report to social services or school

Amba1998 · 15/07/2025 12:19

Agreed with above. Report to school and social services.

Sunshineandblueskysalltheway · 15/07/2025 12:20

EternalLodga · 15/07/2025 12:17

Report to social services or school

Quickly. Before they break up for the summer holidays.

MrsO3 · 15/07/2025 12:38

Report report report. PLEASE. Hand all this info over to the school and they will deal with all next steps. The best way you can help this girl is by reporting it.

HarperValley · 15/07/2025 12:40

Report your concerns to school ASAP.

Skyrise · 15/07/2025 13:09

Absolutely report it!

BumpyWinds · 15/07/2025 14:16

Agree - report - speak to NSPCC for advice if you want to perhaps?

When I underwent safeguarding training they used an example of something like this where multiple people had reported very small things. When all combined together it gave a bigger picture of a much more serious issue that they were able to investigate.

Whereismyjoiedevivre · 15/07/2025 14:22

Cultural sensitivity is irrelevant if you’re concerned about a child’s safety or wellbeing. Please tell the school as well as social services. Please.

Sassybooklover · 15/07/2025 14:28

Agree with others. I work in a school, and have had safeguarding training. Report to the safeguarding lead at your daughter's school, before the end of term. They will set the wheels in motion. Don't let cultural differences stop you from reporting, they are irrelevant, if a child is potentially at risk.

MathsMum3 · 15/07/2025 14:29

Ring the school that Zara attends and ask to speak to the Designated Safeguarding Lead. Explain the situation to them. They will know what to do and who to contact next.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page