August party!

[OhHellolittleone]

So I’ve organised my daughter’s birthday party. I’ve done what most others in the nursery class have done - a softplay and invited everyone.
my daughter has probably been to 8 or 9 parties since January. She is an August baby but very switched on and is SO excited for
her birthday. I didn’t want to be a party parent, but she’s a bit different to me and very outgoing, so I’ve booked a party for the weekend of her birthday. I sent the invite on the WhatsApp chat and via the teacher (as not all are on the chat) so far there have been 4 yes and 10 no due to holiday! about 8 left to go but they’re the ones that seem to have older sibs so don’t engage as much.

I am spiralling a bit and my husband thinks I’m crazy. I just can’t stop crying which I know is ridiculous but I’m feeling quite anxious. I’ve never been one to have parties and the only party I ever organised (my wedding!) was cancelled a few weeks before- twice- due to covid. This one is not comparable to a wedding - just softplay and some food, but i don’t know what to do. All the other class parties were super busy. I know it’s not a reflection on my girl, shes only little but seems to have plenty of friends/ isn’t hard to get on with.

so now the group chat is ‘sorry, we’re away’ about 10 times and I’m worries others will see thst and think they might not bother even if they’re available.

I feel silly for booking a place that holds 20. Also, it’s going to work out at £50 per child at this rate. I’m not bothered about the money, i just want my daughter to have a nice time without me feeling like the world can swallow me whole.

ive only paid a deposit. Should I change to a smaller venue? It might be confusing due to the invite!

am I crazy? I really wish I’d just done grandparents at home and taken her with a friend to softplay.

ive now invited 12 out of nursery friends, but even my own friends seem to be away! 4 have replied either away or already busy.

so AIBU? I think I am, but also need some rational advice.

I’ve an August child. I do her party in September much easier. I would try this next year. Can some of the ones with older siblings bring the siblings to make up the numbers?

thats a good idea! Next year! The issue this year is she is in nursery and then moving up, so won’t know the new class very well.

At 4, four friends is perfect, she will have a great time. Maybe cancel the party and just pay for their entry though?

Annoyingly it’s all or nothing - they don’t do entry. That’s why I’m considering changing venue.

My daughter had a 30th August birthday so there is no point even handing out invitations at the end of term as people forget after 6 weeks. After a similar panic to the OP one year we usually go for second weekend in September and do invites at beginning of term.

Edit to finish typing…!

Maybe it’s a good time to learn this lesson! She’s too little to really understand at the moment, I know she won’t be disappointed so long as she has a few kids to play with - I’m not worried about it being totally empty as a few have said yes and a few of my friends children will be there. All her cousins and my schools friends are abroad, so I can’t even rally the troops.

Lesson learned.

there is no need to stress yourself out over a kids party, invite the amount you are comfortable with and have a party with that amount.

the most either of my children have had for a party is 6. Anything more is too stressful and expensive.

i used to hate when my kids were invited to a full class party.it was just chaos.

My DS is a Christmas baby and we do his party in June. You could still move it, saying you now realise everyone's busy and will therefore move it to a later date. I've done that before because it was tipping down but we were celebrating in our garden, so no venue to cancel and we had only 4 kids invited.
Last year, we had 18 and also in the garden. I had pre-warned parents that we might have to move it and everyone was fine. Didn't need to in the end, though.
DD's is in July but she's only little. We'll probably do her "kids party" in September once she's old enough. Weather is looking a bit rubbish again. As long as it's not tipping it down, I don't mind. We're having a bbq.

August parties are very difficult. Especially when they are not yet in school with more reliable friendships.

I would cancel the party and forego the deposit and do something smaller with those who can make it.

My 5yo DS is an early August child. We're having his birthday party this Saturday (we thought this would catch everyone before holidays) and even though it's still term time, only 5 people are coming out of the 18 we invited. Last year 2 people came to his party in the last week of July. It's really shit but people seem to prioritise holidays from about 2 weeks before the end of term onwards. September would be a bit late for us as he's right at the start of August.

August is always going to be difficult for a party as lots of families go away. I’d do it in July before schools break up next time. For this one, 4 friends is great for a nursery party, cancel the soft play and do a little tea party at home in the garden.

I had this issue last year, most of the parents didn’t respond to the invite until the week before which sent me insane!

August is a massive pain. Both my younger ones are born in August. I just sent out a message to the mum of each child's best friend and there is literally one day in between when neither of them are away! Now I have to decide whether to do 2x separate parties or have it on that one day in between.

It helps a lot if you can corral people into a whatsapp group or something.

If you don't mind about the money, keep the soft play. I often have to turn down party invites because of a younger sibling who isn't on the invite (no childcare). It could be worth extending the invites to include siblings. It can be reallt difficult for parent(s) to juggle multiple children when only one is invited to a party.

Two of mine are end of August birthdays and I learned the hard way that it's better to wait till they're all back at school and have a party in September. So many people are away in August and even the ones who aren't often forget about a party when they're in the getting ready to go back/uniform and shoe buying phase!

Dts are August, parties were in September. Thankfully they’ve grown out of that now and sort something with their mates whenever people are around.

Just change the date to early September, she won't mind if it's not on her actual birthday. You can still invite the same children you would have done, even if she is moving up.

We have an early August baby and usually if she wants a party, we either do it the first weekend of the summer holidays or the one before as found similar things with people being away.
September would work too for the same reasons!

Thanks everyone. I feel a bit better and more prepared for next year!

I agree with August birthdays you need to go early or go late. My friend always does her son's party at the start of July despite him having an August birthday.
The risk in August is that people are on holiday so reduces numbers.
I would perhaps put in the group chat that you have realised August isn't a great time to host a party and whether people would be available in September, although if they are all starting school and not the same one then there may be issues of September children having parties and these being whole class which nursery friends would prioritise to focus on new friends.