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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this might be discrimination against the man?

5 replies

BeesUnicornPot · 15/07/2025 09:43

I’m asking here on behalf of a friend, who is male.

So he has a job in a secondary school as the caretaker, he took the job and was delighted with it. For reference lots of school caretakers are female, anyhow there is a mix of male and females in the role.

The job didn’t turn out as he expected as he is essentially the cleaner, (the only one with the exception of an agency person who comes in an hour a day) but has the responsibility and accountability of being a key holder.

He knew cleaning duties would be expected and is definitely the sort to roll his sleeves up and get stuck in, so laziness is not the issue here!

The HT has left a list of duties for a deep clean to be done over the summer, with each day being assigned a task. So the levels of heavy lifting involved in moving furniture, being instructed to clean behind filing (heavy) filing cabinets, very heavy desks singlehndedly. Also a fairly patronising instruction list on ‘how to clean’ particular things, which after years in the job and a mature man, with a history of being in ‘trade’ he would know anyhow.

He has been told to sand and paint outdoor areas and is expected to use his own car to do dump runs. All these things could be done IF help was provided as sometimes it takes 2 people.

Talking it over, it dawned on me there is NO way a female would be asked to do this sort of work. School caretakers typically have some cleaners to support them and yes they absolutely muck in, but cleaning an entire large school, to the exacting standards and level they are asking is going to completely wear him out and potentially cause injury.

All staff and senior staff are on holidays now, there is an office person but they are rarely actually in.

It seems unfair that he’s expected to do these tasks with no help when a woman and other school caretakers he’s spoken to do not have this to do or simply wouldn’t be asked because it would be too much. Help would be brought in, because a female could not physically do either the amount of work nor the intensity and level in the allocated time.

Can he do anything? Or just work through and see what he gets done.

I’m going to tell him to avoid the very heavy lifting to avoid damaging his back etc.

Any opinions welcome.

OP posts:
randomchap · 15/07/2025 09:53

Asking him to use his car for tip runs is concerning. The waste from the school is commercial, and they are wanting to use his car so that it's treated as domestic.

Agix · 15/07/2025 09:57

Unless there is a woman in the same position as him, same responsibilities, job description etc who hasnt been asked to do those tasks for the deep clean... You'd have a job proving discrimination.

You can't just say "I don't think they'd ask him if he were a woman!". You don't know that. Maybe they would. Without proof, you're assuming sexism.

If they have asked him to do additional tasks that they havnt asked a woman in his same position, with the same job description, responsibilities and role, then you might be able to prove discrimination.

Jellycatspyjamas · 15/07/2025 09:59

He should check staff policies around moving and handling - there are HSE guidelines to follow eg using moving aids for heavy furniture. He should have had H&S training for his role.

While I’d expect general maintenance to be carried out, sanding and painting would usually be given to a tradesman contracted in. I’m not sure if it’s discrimination but it may be bad management, or someone with no idea of the level of work involved in the tasks.

MrsSkylerWhite · 15/07/2025 10:01

Jellycatspyjamas · 15/07/2025 09:59

He should check staff policies around moving and handling - there are HSE guidelines to follow eg using moving aids for heavy furniture. He should have had H&S training for his role.

While I’d expect general maintenance to be carried out, sanding and painting would usually be given to a tradesman contracted in. I’m not sure if it’s discrimination but it may be bad management, or someone with no idea of the level of work involved in the tasks.

This. Is he a union member?

stayathomer · 15/07/2025 10:04

A friend of ours was a caretaker with a similar role in a school, and yes he was more a cleaner with heavy lifting duties. What is he unhappy with? Schools need these things done and yes they need someone physically stronger to do it. In my children’s school the principal is male and is always seen having to lift things about etc. because the cleaners are an 18yo old and a fifty something year old woman, both slight.

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