Still hate this

[gloriahallelujah]

My ds is 12 and will be going away with his dad, stepmother and younger siblings the second week of the summer holidays. Even though ex and I have been split for 10 years and they go away every year I still hate it. I get so anxious in the lead up to it.

I just really miss my ds and worry about him all of the time. Car accidents, him getting unwell, getting injured some other way, being homesick and so on. His dad parents differently to me and can be strict to the point of being aggressive at times. Ds wants to go and I know his dad has every right to take him away but I really do dread it and count the days until he’s back home.

They are going abroad for the first time too which is making me even more nervous particularly with all the dreadful news about plane crashes. I know that sounds ridiculous but honestly my intrusive thoughts go up a notch when I know he’s going away and although I don’t voice it to ds I just can’t stop myself worrying.

Ds is also at the age where he can be surly and full of attitude as most pre teens are. I worry how his dad will cope with this as it’s not often they spend a full week together and I know they’ve fallen out on holiday before. Obviously I wouldn’t stop him going but has anyone got any tips on how I can relax a bit over this. I hate being away from him for so long and being so far away we’re anything to go wrong.

The best thing you can do is to keep busy, make arrangements and plans that you are more able to do without ds. Tackle a project at home, meet friends, redecorate, start knitting, find a good book, fill everyday with a plan but plan it before he goes as it’s so hard to think of what to do on the spot

I try to keep busy and remind myself that at least he’s having fun and I’m able to work without worrying about booking leave (for one week at least). Even so it doesn’t get easier. I still feel as uneasy about it as I did when he was little.

It doesn’t help that my Facebook is constantly littered with horrible news stories about freak accidents and horrific things happening in the world.

look up the 'calmly through the day' threads on here and ignore the social media nonsense.

I think treating yourself to a week off social media / news sites / MN is a really good thing. I think you’ll feel better for it.

Can you treat yourself to doing things you don’t normally have time for? Meet a friend for a drink, go to the pictures, try a yoga class.

I know you have to work but try and see It as a reset for yourself as well.

I truly do know how you feel and I hope you can find some peace in your week.

I like the sound of those thteads, how do we find them? I never find the search thing works very well for me 🤦‍♀️

Thank you all. I do have younger dc at home who will keep me busy but I just can’t settle when my eldest is away.