To worry about this DC

[Meer77]

I have started a lunch cover job in a nursery in the last few weeks. I’m not qualified in childcare, I’m a parent myself and this is a school hour job that works well for the moment and I’m happy to be working with children, so this is a genuine question.

The child brings pack lunches, but sometimes has nursery milk. I went to pour him some at snack time and they said he can’t have it as mum is behind on paying. He really wanted some milk and I felt bad.

From the days he has been in, he has consistently had very out of best before food, for example 5 months out crisps, he didn’t eat them as they must have tasted stale and he looked disappointed. Another example, a very very black and mushy banana which again wasn’t edible. And other things too which he hasn’t eaten and have been months out from best before . No one else seems to have noticed or said anything. Would you report this to management, I feel worried about him as he’s going hungry. Btw, I’m not judging.

That's horrible. How old is the child? Can they communicate or are they too little to tell you any other info. Regardless it sounds like something that should defo be reported immediately.

This is all very strange (not saying it didn’t happen though, OP). Private day nurseries charge fees. Usually, but not always, food
(inc. milk and snacks) are included. Since the free hours were made more complicated lots of nurseries now charge for ‘extras’ which could include milk and food. It’s possible this mum is not paying for the ‘extras’ and sending them
in herself. (Obviously not to standard).

Out of date food and a child clearly wanting milk they are not allowed to have is awful, but I don’t understand exactly what’s going on with the milk. Maybe she’s behind on her actual fees which don’t include milk but as a PP said, I’m surprised the child is allowed in.

All that being said, you MUST report this OP. The poor child is hungry. Who knows what is going on at home etc.

Speak to management and ask them what their safeguarding policy is in response to possible neglect. Then highlight that given concerns about neglect you don’t feel comfortable denying a child milk.

I’m not 100 percent sure, I think just behind in general on nursery fees, but I think they give them a time frame to pay it? I know my DCs nursery did when she used to go, I think it said in small print please pay within 2 weeks of the invoice. So it could be that she’s just slightly late paying. But they definitely said he can’t have the milk as payment is behind.

he is not off of 3 I believe, but is on Ecat for speech as he doesnt talk much, just the odd word that I’ve heard. He more so uses gestures, pointing, noises etc.

Not far off turning 3*

I don’t think it sounds like deliberate neglect, it sounds like the family are in crises and need support. It is a safeguarding issue, and with it being a private nursery the parents probably don’t want to approach management with their problems and they don’t want the child to lose their place. It sounds to me like a very stressful situation and I would actually think the worker who deprived him of milk should be reprimanded for abuse. A poor innocent child who is totally unaware of their families financial background.

Who knows OP, but please take this higher. The family are clearly struggling and a toddler should not be suffering because of that. 😔 Also any nursery worth its salt would be giving that child milk especially if they knew what the lunchbox contained? 😔

I find this heartbreaking. Poor child.. Definitely speak to management and give him milk/ food anyway.

You need to flag it with your manager and the DSL.

And please just give him the milk, I work in a pre-school and over my dead body would I watch a child go hungry. Pour it and give it to him, there’s nothing they can do.

@Proudestmumofone1 your suggestion of waltzing in with some milk doesn’t address the situation at all. The OP is looking for advice here and your response is really rather naive in that you assume throwing money / simply buying milk will fix things. There is an underlying issues here and that’s what needs addressed. OP I would definitely be raising this with your manager.

Intentional neglect of a child is very rare. More often than not parents are trying to meet their children’s needs but like you say need support to do so. Safeguarding procedures should absolutely be followed through to investigate the cause of the neglect. It’s not always a case of it being purely financial as there may be other barriers to better care, such as a parent struggling with their mental health, substance misuse etc.
I agree with you about the other worker as well. People who can’t show basic care for a hungry child shouldn’t be in a role like that.

Disgusting. Hell would freeze over before I deprived a vulnerable innocent child a glass of milk. Children are so so vulnerable. In the UK in a facility providing care and protection to under 5s , to not provide a glass of milk based on parents fees being late Is sickening. Letting a tiny child go hungry to prove a point.

Of course the fee situation needs addressing. But you don't passive aggressively punish the parents via the child.

Parents need help in some way. There's more going on here. They will require that looking at.

But whoever denied that child milk needs reporting for abuse /neglect .

Me too; pass onto safeguarding

Yes. I would report it. That’s heartbreaking. There are food banks. Yes, it’s terrible that parents need to use them and I know a lot are struggling. Not being able to afford school milk is one thing but there’s no excuse for 5 month out of date crisps. Poor little lad.

Can I ask, have they trained you in safeguarding or at the very least given you a copy of KCSIE? There should be an internal system of reporting safeguarding, if they haven’t given you access to a computer then there should be someone you can report things to.

Any matter if things could be happening with child, mum and home.
Money, time, stress, afrid, financial problems (obviously). Im sorry but your manager should of dealt with this already!
Sometimes we just need to find out stuff so we are able to help.

You have a duty of care to report this situation. Protect this little one as they’re too little to help themselves.

He’s at nursery

Ah it breaks my heart, poor baby. Definitely report it, they need to do a social services referral so the family can get the support they need and there may be other children in that household at risk.

Also say to whoever is in charge this is a welfare issue so the child should be given milk even if the fees aren’t paid. A child starving on their watch is just not acceptable. If they were arsey about it I’d say well imagine if it’s on the news this poor child starved and staff wouldn’t even give him a glass of milk…people in charge tend to care more about that stuff 🙄

I don’t know your circumstances but personally I’d take food in to make sure he at least had something in his belly. I just couldn’t live with a baby being hungry and not being fed, the poor thing. That milk could be the only nutritious thing he has all day.

Poor little thing, what kind of nursery refuses milk ffs?

As to the state of his packed lunch box, I'd definitely report it as imo giving the child inedible and obviously stale food items is neglectful.

I’ve worked in early years settings and this needs to be reported no question. It could be that the family are really struggling and may need some extra help.
its quite cruel they aren’t giving him the milk also. I presume the government pay for his hours so any extras need paying for but it’s a bit of milk FFS. Poor child.

I worked in a secondary school where a child never brought any packed lunch nor had a school lunch. He said his Mum gave him a meal each evening. I got him to help me make and sell toast at break time for charity and told him he got as much toast as he wanted free for helping me. I also took in too much fruit for my lunch and told him my DH packed it up for me and he'd be helping me out if he ate some of it as I didn't like wasting food. I'd have found a way to give the DC food. I'd have given him milk too. Report lack of food coming in for him to eat to safeguarding lead. I can remember a few years ago a small DC in reception or Year 1 starved to death, hardly ever took much food in to eat and used to try to eat the play food and take food out of the bin. No one reported this and the boy starved to death over a school holiday. I can remember thinking someone must of noticed but noone reported it or gave the DC any food. When people notice things and say nothing DC suffer and they can't fend for themselves so have to rely on adults looking out for them. I know you're in a new job and probably don't want to rock the boat but please don't let this little boy go hungry and without milk. 🙏🙏

If the parents haven’t paid, then why are the nursery letting him in? If the parents can’t afford to feed him properly why on earth do they think they can afford to send him to a private nursery? In any case, sounds a safeguarding issue that needs reporting.

Id report the person who denied the child milk, that is appalling. And definitely discuss the lunchbox concerns with safeguarding lead asap.

This absolutely needs reporting.

His lack of speech is concerning and could also point to neglect.

Please speak to your safeguarding lead first thing tomorrow OP.