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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think he’s a pretty shit ‘D’P? Or am I being a princess?

34 replies

Usernhu · 14/07/2025 21:53

Sitting on the sofa opposite DP who is on the chair. We have the tv on in the background, DP is about to start some work in preparation for tomorrow.

I am on my period and in pain which DP knows. I was cold and asked him if he would pass me a blanket from the other sofa. He was irritated and asked me if I could get it myself and I said I didn’t want to move as I was in pain. He then made some sort of exhale and carried on with his work.

Thoughts? Am I being a princess to be annoyed about this?

OP posts:
PickAChew · 14/07/2025 21:55

It depends. Would he have had to untangle himself from cables and work stuff to get up to get you the blanket?

Teapleasemilknosugar · 14/07/2025 21:56

Yes.

Jabberwok · 14/07/2025 21:57

Princess. Sorry but work comes first..

Fundayout2025 · 14/07/2025 21:59

Princess. How bloody long would it have taken to grab the blanket THAT YOU WANTED yourself.

Daisy12Maisie · 14/07/2025 21:59

I would find that annoying if I was about to start work and I was asked by my partner to pass him something. It’s hard enough anyway to find the motivation to log on.

So unless he is usually unkind to you when you are in pain then I would say that he has passed you it but it’s fair enough that he was a bit annoyed. I wouldn’t have asked in that situation. Just my opinion though and I’m sure other people will be along to say the opposite.

My19thNervousNameChange · 14/07/2025 22:00

You've got period pains not Ebola. For goodness sake!

EmeraldRoulette · 14/07/2025 22:02

How much pain are you in? I spent years on the pill due to horrendous periods and painkillers don't touch it.

but if you're in that much pain you need to disturb someone's work, it's time to see a doctor about it.

if you don't need to disturb a working person, then don't. I live alone. Just have to crack on. I realise you don't live alone but if someone is working, I'd consider them not available unless there's an emergency.

Original poster
Usernhu · 14/07/2025 22:02

Ok, princess it is!

OP posts:
nutbrownhare15 · 14/07/2025 22:04

I'd be pissed off if I was in pain and my partner basically ignored me, yes. I'd get up from my work to help if he was in pain.

HundredMilesAnHour · 14/07/2025 22:07

nutbrownhare15 · 14/07/2025 22:04

I'd be pissed off if I was in pain and my partner basically ignored me, yes. I'd get up from my work to help if he was in pain.

She’s got period pains! Gentle / light exercise is actually beneficial for period pain! As a previous poster said, if she’s in so much pain that she can’t get off the sofa, she should be calling 111 rather than asking for a blanket. FFS.

DownAndOut25 · 14/07/2025 22:18

I get extreme period pain - I had endometriosis and adenomyosis for 25 years. But just because he didn’t pass you a blanket, that doesn’t make him “pretty shit”.

OkPedro · 14/07/2025 22:26

HundredMilesAnHour · 14/07/2025 22:07

She’s got period pains! Gentle / light exercise is actually beneficial for period pain! As a previous poster said, if she’s in so much pain that she can’t get off the sofa, she should be calling 111 rather than asking for a blanket. FFS.

Show quote history

Seriously I get bad period pain, javelin arse, can't move without pain the first day I wouldn't be calling a doctor ffs but I am in a lot of discomfort. The woman is in pain just because you might sail through your period doesn't mean all women do

helloquitty · 14/07/2025 22:43

My boyfriend would 100% have got me the blanket. Because he loves me and it’s a nice thing to do !

User37482 · 14/07/2025 22:45

DH would have got the blanket, I don’t think it’s a big ask if someones not feeling well. I’d get up to fetch something for DH. We are a boring middle aged couple, not living life high on passion or anything. It’s a small thing for someone you care about.

Helpmeplease2025 · 14/07/2025 22:59

Moving about is the best thing for period pains. Princess.

CaptainFuture · 14/07/2025 23:02

Helpmeplease2025 · 14/07/2025 22:59

Moving about is the best thing for period pains. Princess.

Yep total 👸
If you need the loo...whatll you do?

GoneGirl12345 · 14/07/2025 23:03

HundredMilesAnHour · 14/07/2025 22:07

She’s got period pains! Gentle / light exercise is actually beneficial for period pain! As a previous poster said, if she’s in so much pain that she can’t get off the sofa, she should be calling 111 rather than asking for a blanket. FFS.

Show quote history

I take it you've never experienced symptoms related to endometriosis or adenomyosis?

No point calling 999 for a flare up but the pain can be debilitating. Suggest you read up on it in case you have a daughter or employee that gets diagnosed one day.

AnyoneWhoHasAHeart · 14/07/2025 23:10

The thing is that too many women expect to be given a free pass Om the basis of being women.

women are essentially always in the right because there’s always a hormonal excuse. PMT/on period/pregnant/peri/menopausal.

and yet the same women are upset if they’re called hormonal.

Nichebitch · 14/07/2025 23:32

As usual, lots of people with very low standards here. If I’m in pain for whatever reason and I ask Dh to get me something he will do if immediately, working or not - takes 5 seconds and it’s nice to do! And I would do exactly the same for him. It’s called being nice to each other

Dontlletmedownbruce · 15/07/2025 00:07

Dh would probably get me the blanket. But unless there is a backstory here, it's ok for people to have grumpy moments too, maybe he was just having a bad evening. YABU for making a thing out of it all.

theunbreakablecleopatrajones · 15/07/2025 00:13

Depends on the wider context I suppose.

If my DP was working I’d have got it myself. Equally if I’d asked my DP he’s have got it.. but perhaps that’s because I wouldn’t often ask.

No harm in you asking, and no harm in him not being up for it.

However if you are generally inclined to play the princess card, or if he is generally inclined to be grumpy then that needs addressing.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 15/07/2025 00:15

User37482 · 14/07/2025 22:45

DH would have got the blanket, I don’t think it’s a big ask if someones not feeling well. I’d get up to fetch something for DH. We are a boring middle aged couple, not living life high on passion or anything. It’s a small thing for someone you care about.

Edited

I agree

Is everyone saying princess mean, or lacks empathy?

If someone I love is unwell I'd want to do anything I could do make them better. And if I genuinely couldn't get up I'd say 'sorry darling I'm so tangled up in these wires are you ok getting up yourself?' I wouldn't be nasty or huffy

ILoveMyCaravan · 15/07/2025 00:35

My DH would absolutely get me the blanket. He would also ask if I needed anything else, like a cup of tea or painkillers. I would be very upset at your DPs reaction.

PollyBell · 15/07/2025 00:51

Well i would be annoyed if my husband asked me to do something he was capable of doing himself

We help each other out sometimed but there is a difference in doing a normal favour for someone and the fake incompetence* thing some women do as they feel they need to be looked after like they are made of crystal

*whatever you call it

So a one off or are you known for being dramatic?

savagedaughter · 15/07/2025 00:53

Usernhu · 14/07/2025 21:53

Sitting on the sofa opposite DP who is on the chair. We have the tv on in the background, DP is about to start some work in preparation for tomorrow.

I am on my period and in pain which DP knows. I was cold and asked him if he would pass me a blanket from the other sofa. He was irritated and asked me if I could get it myself and I said I didn’t want to move as I was in pain. He then made some sort of exhale and carried on with his work.

Thoughts? Am I being a princess to be annoyed about this?

Of course he's being cunty, assuming there is not some sort of back story. It is an absolute bare minimum request to walk a few feet to hand someone a blanket when they are feeling shitty.