To think some people treat IVF like ordering a designer baby?

[MyHazelCritic]

Not all, obviously, but there’s a rising trend of turning fertility into a consumer project: selecting traits, planning sibling sets, documenting every step online. It’s not always about creating life, sometimes it’s about curating an image.

I don’t know how people are selecting traits?
Or what you mean by planning sibling sets (unless you mean people actively seeking to have twins).
For me and many people it’s just a chance to have children, I don’t recognise what you are describing (although I don’t use instagram so maybe that’s where you’re seeing this).

You clearly have not done IVF yourself.

Yep you've evidently never needed IVF..

Yeah I’ll need you to elaborate on this perception. I’ve not heard of anyone (that I personally know) to be making GMO babies. Yes, you will get a “catalogue” for instance when looking at sperm donors, but that’s so that you are compatible (illness history, resemblance to parents), but not to engineer what you want your kid to look like, like it’s the Sims.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. That is all.

I know someone who is having ivf abroad to choose the sex

I haven't heard of this, and I know people going through IVF and that doesn't sound like their experience, from what they've told me. Do you have more info, a link or something?

So agree in that sense

but didn't think you could select anything if doing it in this country

Ah good. I was waiting for today's lobbed in rage-bomb and here it is! Phew.

I hear that and I do agree IVF is a lifeline for many. I’m not talking about people navigating infertility with care and realism. I’m more pointing to how, in some circles (yes, often Instagram/TikTok), it’s becoming a curated journey: selecting embryos based on cosmetic or non-medical traits, announcing ‘gender reveals’ before implantation, or designing sibling sets for aesthetics or content. It’s not the majority but the shift in tone and framing is worth reflecting on.

IVF is horrific, you'd have to be very determined.
I do have a designer ivf baby, genetically selected so they have a slightly less shit life. Not got a curated image though!

Sometimes I'd raise an eye at the embryo banking for a specific gender I'd see in the US on support groups (it's not permitted here so makes your claims less likely) but that's their choice.

This is more a US thing, where people, often gay or single men, talk about choosing egg donors - supermodels, ivy league students, that sort of thing.

I have worked with tons of families that have achieved pregnancies through IVF and not once have I ever met anyone who treated it as a "consumer project". I have seen determination, and heartbreak, and lives savings poured into it, and physical and emotional health battered by it, but not once ever seen it as a choice that anyone wanted to have made.

This. ^

Utter nonsense @MyHazelCritic No-one does this when they're having IVF FFS!

US startup charging couples to ‘screen embryos for IQ’ | Genetics | The Guardian https://www.theguardian.com/science/2024/oct/18/us-startup-charging-couples-to-screen-embryos-for-iq

Post links to said Instagram and TikTok accounts where people are doing any of this. ^

That makes sense, most people going through IVF aren’t doing this at all. I’m referring to a growing niche trend, often seen online or in newer services like polygenic embryo screening. Some clinics now offer embryo selection based on predicted traits like height, IQ or even future disease risk scores. It’s controversial and definitely not representative of everyone’s journey but it’s something I’ve seen more talk about recently, especially on platforms like Instagram and TikTok, where fertility sometimes gets presented as a kind of curated lifestyle choice. Happy to share a link if you’re curious, it’s definitely not the norm but it’s part of a wider conversation about where fertility tech is heading.

I think that is such a small portion of the IVF population. Same with extreme plastic surgeries, or anything questionable that has nothing to do with actual life. These clips / accounts are designed to make money, so the more crazy the better (for them). Half of it probably isn’t even true. Like some PPs have said a lot of it isn’t legal in Europe. I wouldn’t say that there’s a trend where all of humanity is heading - it’s literally a few people online that are probably not even doing it because they’re desperate for a child.

Well, if it was in the Guardian, then obviously it must be true- and everyone is doing it! 🙄

You clearly know absolutely nothing about the realities of the IVF process. Well done for such a goady and upsetting post.

It's vile isn't it?

By selecting traits, do you mean picking embryos that do not have genetic health conditions? Some people do use IVF to, I guess, select certain traits such as not carrying a particular gene but this is where the parents know they carry something that can be deadly. Or sometimes the parents have had a child with a genetic condition that has sadly meant the child died. You can’t exactly pick an embryo that will be good at maths and science but not very arty. Or one that will be at least 6ft tall.

There are cases where people will have healthy embryos with equal chance of success of both sexes and they have a preference on sex so will choose a girl embryo over a boy embryo. Nobody who desperately wants a child, and has put their body through IVF, is picking a boy embryo that has less chance of implanting or carries a genetic condition over a girl embryo that has a better chance of success.

I think it’s a very small group of people you’re looking at. I also think the United States has very poor standards of ethics in some aspects of fertility treatment.

I did IVF in Australia in 2023, and had a vastly different experience. Australia, similar to the UK, uses a much stronger code of ethics in their practice. People don’t do IVF for designer babies - it’s not about parents being unwilling to accept the traits of a naturally conceived child.

IVF patients are infertile (including socially infertile, the absence of an opposite sex partner) or they need to use IVF to prevent a genetic illness, or for another medical reason.

I am a carrier for some appalling genetic diseases - spinal muscular atrophy, Batten disease and Cystic fibrosis. There’s no way I’d knowingly pass these conditions on to a child so genetic testing was not to look at baby’s eye colour it was medically important. My husband wasn’t a carrier, but we had a lot of peace of mind from genetic carrier screening and genetic testing of embryos for disease only.

I also have PCOS and despite being in my mid 20s, was unable to conceive naturally. IVF was a medical need if I wanted to conceive, not a choice.

We were thrilled to have a daughter, but would have been equally delighted with a son. We didn’t have the legal option to select an embryo to implant based on its sex.

I’ve never met another IVF parent who didn’t have a very sad, very personal reason for having fertility treatment. It’s expensive, invasive and often heartbreaking and I hate that anyone would thing people do it as a “consumer project” or to create a baby somehow better or more attractive than a child they’d naturally conceived.

The Sunday Times ran an article about the world of VIP IVF and embryo selection a few months ago. It was astonishing what they can do nowadays. But it is an American thing. British prospective parents have to go to the US for it. You can't do it here.

Who on earth are you following on IG?

I haven't seen this at all.