How much drinking is too much drinking?

[Beaniebobbins]

I think that going out on a massive session starting around 6pm ending around 3am or 4am and then being so hungover you can’t move from the sofa for the whole of the next day and are still visibly rough three days later and doing this every two to three weeks is excessive. There is no reason for these sessions, such as a big birthday or celebration, it’s just what they do. The people that they do these sessions with have clear signs of alcoholism. Also this is a parent to two little kids. Whose other half is doing all the chid care while they are drinking and recovering.

Am I being unreasonable?

Bump

That is not normal drinking at all and would seem to me a sign of disordered drinking, Is this your partner?

A one off, I could forgive. We've probably all been there at some point. The mother of all hangovers is usually enough for most people to do it once and keep it more sensible in future.

Repeated behaviour like that every other weekend? Absolutely not.

DH and I are fairly relaxed about each other drinking and going out (caveat that with neither of us drink to that level and we're usually home by 11😅) but neither of us would remotely tolerate that on a regular basis.

Have you had a conversation about it? What was the response? Are there drugs involved? I only ask because it's a fairly heavy night out and they tend to go hand in hand.

I couldn't stay with someone who was doing that every other weekend tbh.

STBXH. This is historical behaviour. It went on for best part of year. But then he did stop drinking completely for a bit and currently drinks much much less. But it came up in counselling. And he said “you should have seen the look on the counsellors face when you said I got drunk every two to three weeks, she thought you were going to say every two to three days, she thought you were being ridiculous”. Counselling is not going well. Am also starting to have concerns about the kids being left alone with him if he genuinely doesn’t see an issue with it.

There may have been some drugs involved. He does have one friend who tells me she can’t leave the house without taking cocaine first and then the friend who he gets really drunk with does boast about his drug taking prowess but he has an an addicts relationship with the truth so I just assumed he was talking shite.

It’s clearly not healthy behaviour to be getting that wasted so regularly when you are a grown arse man with responsibilities, no.

But it doesn’t matter what he thinks or the counsellor thinks. If this is beyond what you see as reasonable or healthy, if it’s not behaviour you can tolerate from a partner, you don’t have to put it up with it.

Debates about ‘how much is too much’ are pointless with people with drug or alcohol issues, as until they can see there is an issue themselves, they will deny, defend, attack and lie to justify their drinking/using. Anything to be able to keep on doing it.

For me, it’s not the night out, it’s the impact the next day and several days later. I still have the odd binge drinking night out but I stop drinking alcoholic drinks well before the end, and tend to start early and finish early. I’m then up and at ‘em the following day.