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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Lost bag drama

7 replies

Tiredandprobablygrumpy · 14/07/2025 17:09

DH and I have a 5 month old and 3 year old. DH takes 3 yr old to soft play in the morning so I was at home with the baby who was too hot and pretty cranky. DH got back home and shouted up the stairs that he had left his bag so was off to find it and left 3 yr old in the hallway. Baby who I was with upstairs was crying (hot and tired) and as ever this set the 3 yr old off so I had two crying kids. We had to get a birthday card (plus food for dinner) before we were off out to friends birthday party after lunch. So with much crying I got sun cream on the 3 yr old and into pushchair, got baby in sling and went off to shops to sort (in 30 degree heat I might add due to UK heatwave).

So heres my AIBU - I was pretty pissed off with DH that he just left and went to get bag (in a lovely quiet air conditioned car!) and left me to sort the rest with two kids. I get he had to get bag back but he could have at least taken the 3 yr old with him so I only had one kid to juggle. He says it was unfair to make 3 yr old sit in car whilst he drove to soft play and back so thought he was better at home (he hadn’t thought through that we needed to get card or food before the party). DH could have stopped past the shops to get stuff on way back from finding bag but it would have been quite tight on time and we probably would have been late to bday party.

IABU - DH had to get bag back and we just needed to make the best of a rubbish situation

IANBU - DH should have at least discussed it with me / mitigated the impact on me in some way

I also recognise this is a pretty petty argument but we’ve been bickering about it and I’m genuinely curious whether IABU!

OP posts:
Pippa12 · 14/07/2025 17:16

I’m not sure I would have got a three year old back in the car to nip back for a bag when I could leave them at home. Getting them in and out the car seat just to collect a bag. How far is the soft play and realistically how long does it take to do the round trip?

Hankunamatata · 14/07/2025 17:24

Guessing he didn't want to wrangle 3 yr old back into the car
Could u not have rang dp to pick up card and food on the way home?

DoYouReally · 14/07/2025 17:24

It sounds like you of you could do with improved planning and improved conversation overall.

Hankunamatata · 14/07/2025 17:25

Couldn't you have picked up card on the way to the party?
Then got food on the way home from the party?

Arlanymor · 14/07/2025 17:28

Card on the way to party and food for dinner after the party (why would you buy it on the way - cold stuff would get warm in this heat). Totally understand him not wanting the rigamarole of wrangling the 3 year old into the car seat, then out, then in again, then out again. It was a quick trip and the quicker he went back the more likely he would be able to retrieve it. Also knackered kid probably needed rest between soft play and the party, so at home is the best place. Sorry, I have to say I get why he did what he did.

NeedToAskPlease · 14/07/2025 17:48

Did he refuse to stop at the shops on his way back?

hathawayyyyy · 14/07/2025 18:00

didnt you post about this already?

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