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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu not to want to be in work WhatsApp chat

79 replies

Spaghettihair · 14/07/2025 16:10

Our workplace uses Teams, Trello, Outlook, Viva Engage and Yammer. I’m on all these. I often know I’ve been asked to do something and go through my emails/notes, think I’m going mad and later find it in a teams chat etc.

I do not want to be on the work WhatsApp which is ostensibly social but occasionally people send work requests to move a meeting/running late etc. It got started when we all went to an off site and someone said it would help us meet up (why not just use Teams on our phones?)

Ive avoided it for the past year claiming not to use WhatsApp. Gave a colleague my number without thinking to meet for drinks and horrified to now be added. I left and my manager has over the last fortnight asked 3x for me to rejoin so he can share product images/get in touch if we’re off site/it’s easier.

Ive said WhatsApp crashes my phone but I just do not want another fucking comms channel tbh. Teams & 4G covers all he needs, (including endless gif chains) surely? AIBU, what sm I missing with WhatsApp work chat, is this career suicide

OP posts:
Mmhmmn · 15/07/2025 23:50

Sympathies. Id hate that. Personal time should not be interrupted with constant work messages.
You could mute the specific work chat after 5 or whatever so you still get your other chat notifications from your family, friends etc.

Voxon · 15/07/2025 23:55

Totally get it, I hate these chit chats

Anotheranonymousname · 16/07/2025 00:00

Stick with your 'not enough storage' explanation if you're not keen.

I don't have work whatsapp or email on my personal phone and if pushed, have said it's partly because my teenagers have access to my phone (with my consent and only usually if I'm driving or they're looking for a photo) and I don't want to create a situation whereby they see something confidential because it's popped up on my phone.

NewbieYou · 16/07/2025 00:03

Tell your boss that if he wants you reachable on WhatsApp that he needs to provide you with a phone and new number for that. Then turn the work phone off at 5.

Madrid1989 · 16/07/2025 23:32

Spaghettihair · 14/07/2025 17:13

We have group chats/project groups on Teams too.

Do I just keep saying my phone has no storage for WhatsApp or be honest (which feels impossible now I’ve lied)

Honestly, just tell them you don’t want to be included in this because it blurs the line between work and personal.

i used to be on a work WhatsApp and hated it. It made me accessible to people outside of work hours, so I removed myself and told my manager that I wasn’t going to be a part of it. HR also don’t don’t usually like these types of rogue comms channels, so if they keep hounding you, go to them and raise a grievance.

Howtotrainarabbit · 16/07/2025 23:34

If it's your personal phone I don't think they can demand you have to. Say no sorry I don't want WhatsApp on my personal phone and will continue to catch up on Teams etc. Surely it's inefficient to have so many chats to check. Our Teams chat is so clogged with rubbish that I would miss anything important on there.

Original poster
Spaghettihair · 17/07/2025 08:46

Howtotrainarabbit · 16/07/2025 23:34

If it's your personal phone I don't think they can demand you have to. Say no sorry I don't want WhatsApp on my personal phone and will continue to catch up on Teams etc. Surely it's inefficient to have so many chats to check. Our Teams chat is so clogged with rubbish that I would miss anything important on there.

Yeah exactly- they want it because teams is so clogged I think.

He hasn’t asked since but if he does I’ll reiterate my phone has no storage for it but if it’s so important happy to have a work phone (he won’t want to spend on that!)

OP posts:
JassyRadlett · 17/07/2025 08:56

Honestly your storage argument sounds a bit weak.

I'd be straightforward: "It's really important to me to be able to have healthy boundaries between my work life and my life outside work. I've agreed to Big Chair's request to have Teams and Authenticator on my personal phone, but it doesn't work for me to have a work group chat on an app I also use for personal things. Maybe we could have better rules for the use of Teams so it's more functional as a work comms channel, rather than adding another comms channel to the mix?"

TroysMammy · 17/07/2025 09:08

I feel the same out my works WhatsApp group (it's got a bloody stupid name too). There's all sort of shit on it but I'm only interested in important work info that I need to know eg "X off sick can you re-arrange appointments/so and so is covering they need a log on". Then there's the downright puerile and creepy "cover today was nice, he smelt lovely" (reference to aftershave) wtf?

I'm going to push for a separate one then I'll leave the "fun" one. It doesn't help that a new member of staff dominates the "fun" one and there have been issues on how she has spoken to and treated me in work. To see her name on the group chat irritates the hell out of me.

LifeJuggler13 · 17/07/2025 09:14

You are not being unreasonable. This happened with me when I started in the job I’m in now & I refused to join. It was a volatile group with past employees in it too, whom I didn’t know, and I just wasn’t comfortable.

I point blank refused to join and was told of the types of chats that went on which I didn’t think were helpful to a good working environment. I also suggested that my three bosses (yes, I know it’s a weird one, particularly as I actually manage them 🤯) to remove themselves from it, which they did.

hididdlyho · 17/07/2025 10:18

Management need to make sure Teams is just being used for work related communication and not idle chit chat. If people want to make inane small talk then they should make the Whatsapp group chat an optional opt in for that purpose. I would explain it's overwhelming to keep up with some many different channels and important work stuff is being missed. It's clearly an inefficient use of work time if you're having to trawl through dross across several different platforms to find the info you need to complete a task.

LittleBitofBread · 17/07/2025 11:49

Spaghettihair · 14/07/2025 17:40

Thankyou this is a great response and completely honest

Show quote history

Except I meant to say 'keep work messages separate from social ones'!

Original poster
Spaghettihair · 17/07/2025 14:06

JassyRadlett · 17/07/2025 08:56

Honestly your storage argument sounds a bit weak.

I'd be straightforward: "It's really important to me to be able to have healthy boundaries between my work life and my life outside work. I've agreed to Big Chair's request to have Teams and Authenticator on my personal phone, but it doesn't work for me to have a work group chat on an app I also use for personal things. Maybe we could have better rules for the use of Teams so it's more functional as a work comms channel, rather than adding another comms channel to the mix?"

I think he knows it’s a weak argument but also that he can’t ‘force’ me into WhatsApp so he’s trying to make me feel socially obligated. Luckily for me I’m old enough to be fine with people thinking I’m awkward 😁

OP posts:
Ilovemyshed · 17/07/2025 14:21

It is a lesson in never blending work and personal mobiles. I have a strict rule : work on work phone; personal on my personal device and restricted sharing of my number.

They want me, use my work device. I’m not working, it stays at home and I’m not “on”.

In your instance, say you are having issues with your phone, remove Teams, authenticator and remove yourself on Whatsapp. They want you, let them provide you with a device to use in work time.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 17/07/2025 16:35

Work needs to provide you with a phone if they want you to have WhatsApp

Natsku · 17/07/2025 17:32

Yanbu, if you don't want to join it then you shouldn't have to join it, and you shouldn't need an excuse either - a simple no thanks ought to be enough even though it sounds like it isn't.

Though I do find our work whatsapp to be useful, much easier way of getting everyone's attention when needed, but its not a big group so there's not constant notifications.

DilemmaDelilah · 17/07/2025 19:31

My line manager has my personal phone number as do a couple of friends, but I have made it completely clear that I refuse to use my personal phone for work purposes.

I keep my personal and my work lives completely separate. There is a work WhatsApp group but I am not part of it. I have no difficulty at all in refusing to use my personal phone for work purposes and in not joining the WhatsApp group.

Just say no.

Assssofspades · 17/07/2025 19:33

FYI you can 'lock' a chat on Whatsapp, it then doesn't even show up in archived at the top.

Original poster
Spaghettihair · 18/07/2025 23:12

Natsku · 17/07/2025 17:32

Yanbu, if you don't want to join it then you shouldn't have to join it, and you shouldn't need an excuse either - a simple no thanks ought to be enough even though it sounds like it isn't.

Though I do find our work whatsapp to be useful, much easier way of getting everyone's attention when needed, but its not a big group so there's not constant notifications.

This is essentially why ours exists.

I would rather we used Teams more effectively (I have suggested a social/work chat there with a view to muting the resultant social one…) I guess seeing how they run Teams and my brief experience of WhatsApp I just don’t trust them!

OP posts:
Original poster
Spaghettihair · 18/07/2025 23:35

Assssofspades · 17/07/2025 19:33

FYI you can 'lock' a chat on Whatsapp, it then doesn't even show up in archived at the top.

This is helpful- if I really can’t avoid I’ll do this but he hasn’t mentioned again so may have got the hint (hopefully!)

OP posts:
Bridgetjonesheart · 18/07/2025 23:53

You’re not being unreasonable, the idea of this alone is very unreasonable and invasive. You could say you don’t use it, or join and silence the group. Mute. Archive even. I hate these ridiculous social hurdles to jump through just for work.

pineapplesundae · 20/07/2025 20:18

Don’t use Teams and switch to WhatsApp. One or the other!

jennygeddes · 20/07/2025 20:28

Work Whatsapps etc are explicitly banned in both the large corporates I've worked in. Impossible to monitor and a pain to have to find and provide evidence for any data protection SAR requests etc. In fact submit a SAR to work and when they don't provide anything from WhatsApp, complain.

T00ManyBooks · 20/07/2025 20:32

I was stalked by someone I worked with, it’ll be a cold day in hell before I’d join a work WhatsApp with my personal number.

MrsItalia · 20/07/2025 20:38

Work stuff belongs on a work phone.
they also need to send you and the team work stuff within work hours if you get given one.

My area manager tried to add me to a group chat during covid for updates on my personal phone. I denied. I didn’t want to be on a chat with 30 other people- plus they could then see my personal
mobile number! A data protection issue too!!

glad I didn’t accept- another manager said there were over 350 messages in one day.

🤍