Am I in the wrong?

[Lfcmum579]

In almost 6 years how regularly should a grandparent see a child before trusting them to take your child out? Grandparent doesnt work and lives less than 30mins away, looks after other grandchildren (different child) multiple times a week.
Im also a very anxious mum. it took almost a year for me to be comfortable with my mum to look after my child once she learnt what he likes and also needs, and that was for an hour or 2.
Am I wrong to ask for a few family outings or visits 1st? In almost 6 years it hasn't happened.

It's not clear exactly what you're asking -- are you asking how much time a grandparent should spend with a specific child before a parent might legitimately trust them to take them out solo? Has the grandparent asked to take the child out by themselves?

I’m not entirely sure what you’re asking either. Does the grandparent want to take them on a day trip or something but you’re wary because they’ve only looked after them for an hour or two so far?
Your child is 6 though. Not a toddler.

The grandparent seems to have brought her child to adulthood successfully.

Unless there is some huge back story as to your mum's behaviours when raising you as a child or just not listening to the boundries you set around your child then at the end of the day it would appear that she successfully raised you to adulthood. Why the need to strongly police how she behaves/is/interacts with her grandchildren?

I think the issue is your anxiety here. I trusted my mum with my children straight away from when they were brand new!

I’m not really sure what you’re asking? We see MIL typically once or twice a year because she lives abroad and I’d have trusted her with mine when they were 6, anything over 4 really so I don’t have to worry about them running off and I know they’re happy to go with her. If you’re by your own admission very anxious to the point where it took a year to trust your own mum and even then it’s only for an hour or 2 maybe MIL (is the grandparent you’re referencing your MIL?) feels like you want her to keep her distance IDK. Have you actually invited her on an outing? Asked her to look after your DC?

If the Grandparent is competent and there are no safeguarding concerns and the child is six I would let the Grandparent take them if the child wanted to go. There would be no minimum hours required or family trips needed.

My parents and ILS had all of our dc from maybe 8 weeks old for a few hours Usually just at theirs at first then to parks and days out for whole days. I'd usually find out when I collected of what they had done that day. Never an issue.

Presumably the grandparent successfully raised your partner/spouse? It must be extraordinarily hard to be an anxious mum, but please don't let that get in the way of them having time with your child. Unless your child has very specific needs, then most children are fairly straightforward to take care of for the day. And, as I say, they have raised their own child/ren before.

Just ask your kid? Unless there is SEN here there is no reason why you wouldn't talk to a 6 yr old first. They don't have naps or nappies or anything that involves a carer. They can say when they are hungry or need the loo. Unless I'm misinterpreting and your eldest is 6 and there are younger kids.

Spending time with another adult other than mother is really really good for a child. It forces their to explain their needs properly because mothers know and anticipate things and often treat them like they are younger than they are.

Do you mean that the grandparent has never visited their grandchild?