To think others with small kids struggle to keep house tidy?

[PiePlease]

Am I mad or is anyone else with small kids struggling to keep their houses nice and tidy most of the time? I have a 13 week old DD and 3.5y DS, and live with DH and little dog. I just feel that keeping on top of the house is so difficult! Maybe I am forgetting how hard it is with a little baby, to juggle everything, plus now having two and adjusting to that!

I am working to declutter as I think there’s a trick to reduce the amount of stuff we have, to keep things tidier day to day, but I just wondered if I need a reality check or not? Is this normal to feel that it’s just so hard to keep everything tidy?

Our house is an old cottage with very little storage, so maybe that doesn’t help! There’s no porch, nowhere to store coats and shoes, and corridors are too thin for drawers or any storage. We’re going to be listing the house for sale soon, maybe the next house will have more storage space which might make it easier?

Feeling really down about it today! Also have a history of OCD and maybe recently felt myself slipping into bad habits again, which perhaps makes me view things more critically. There’s just always stuff everywhere and it’s making me feel so low :(

I have three kids under five. My house is a tip. Not sure if that helps but haven’t been able to get it under control since my second was born!

Your baby is 13 weeks old! Please don't spend this time stressing about your house. Rest, heal, look after your baby and preschooler.

How much does your DH do? Our house was reasonably tidy (not Instagram level though!) but that was because both DH and I were keeping on top of it. We had a reset once a week when toys were picked up and put away. I couldn’t have done it on my own - one of us would do it whilst the other did bedtime.

3 kids here (5m old baby included) my house is full to the brim and a mess. I try to keep on top of it but the bathroom is currently desperate it was my plan for this morning. Baby and 3 year old had other plans. So I played snap and nursed the baby - do what you can but no one with kids is living in an insta home as far as I can tell 🤷🏼‍♀️

Ah thanks @hqsheqjaqw I did think it’s probably normal, but all my friends live far enough away that we never ‘pop in’ to see eachother without lots of planning, so I bet we all do the same and tidy like mad before having people over and then that gives you this impression that everyone else has things under control! It’s not true! And am glad I’m not alone

Thanks @diterictur you’re right, I don’t want to look back and feel that I didn’t take the time to enjoy this baby stage. I just struggle with the internal voice nagging at me that things are a mess and it gets me feeling quite low!

I am retired social worker. If I visited a family with small children and it was immaculate it rang alarm bells. Small children = mess. That's just fine. Enjoy your lovely little ones.

2 kids (7&2) and heavily pregnant. Yes our house is a mess constantly, yet I’m always tidying or cleaning. I’ve just learnt to try my best and cut myself some slack.
7 year old is actually a great help, but even so it feels never ending. If I’m cleaning the kitchen, the 2 year old is tipping his toys out all over the living room. We then get them to help tidy up all the toys, and then for example it’s lunch time so the kitchen needs dishes doing again (and so the never ending cycle continues)

things that help me:
getting kids to help, even if there toddlers they can help a bit.
giving the toddler a cloth and letting them help me (giving them ‘busy’ jobs that make them feel like they’re involved but don’t make more work for me 😂)
having nice smelling cleaning products makes me want to clean more,
storage wherever possible so that everything has a place to be put away,
declutter as much as possible.

bottom line is you have a tiny baby so please don’t worry!! Prioritise what bugs you the most and then cut yourself some slack- they won’t be this tiny forever and your house will eventually get easier to tidy/clean.

I feel really lucky to say he is great, he does most of the cooking and packed lunches, and most of the washing up at the minute (forgot to mention we don’t have a dishwasher! Arg! That probably makes things harder as we spend so long washing up!). He does also tidy and clean too but it feels like we’re just keeping on top of the day to day stuff and not decluttering enough maybe.

I was just telling him how the house has been getting on top of me and turns out yesterday he ordered a family organisation planner thing for the fridge so we can see if that helps! Fingers crossed!

I think most lower their standards to a point where its doable. This seems the way to keep your sanity intact.

Instead of doing you could spend time thinking - planning what to declutter and working through the feelings before it happens, thinking about storage or rearranging, etc.

Also forgot to say I like the idea of a weekly reset @RidingMyBike ! Maybe am missing a trick by having some kind of plan!

Am guilty of being a bit of a ‘live in the moment’ type person, but then it can bite you when you don’t actually have any kind of structure with the house

Thank you some brilliant tips here, you’re so right about all of this!!

I’ve tidied up multiple times this morning and each time my 2 year old gets everything back out straight away. I think this is definitely normal with young kids.

Theres a big difference between untidy and unclean as well.