My day vs dh day

[autienotnaughty]

So just to say I thought this was a lovely chill day today given we have an autistic 8 year old prone to meltdowns. During the day dh had himself commented what a lovely day we were having but when we were telling adult dd (who had been out all day) about our daydh suddenly started saying how hard his day had been (but agreed mine had been easy).
Just to mention I have chronic pain and can’t do heavy task so a lot of the lighter tasks fall to me .

MY DAY
7am Got up with ds did breakfast and played games (still needs a lot of interaction during play)
930am Got back into bed (after dh up) ds had ipad and I dozed/looked at my phone
11am got me and ds showered/dressed
12pm lunch /did pots put a wash on
1pm ds had his switch for a hour and I read my book in the garden
2pm ds and I did his homework, I supervised him doing his housework (he tidies his room and puts his clothes away) I also put some washing out and away
330pm played cards outside with ds and dh
4pm ds watched tv while I did physio stretch’s and rested on the bed

DH DAY
930am Got up took dog out
10am had breakfast/dealt with online shop
11am mowed lawn
1230pm showered/changed
130pm prepped tea
2pm sat in garden
330pm played cards with ds
4pm checked an issue with his car
430pm made tea

Was dhs day really much harder than mine??

I suppose DH ticked a lot of jobs off - dog, shop, mowing, car. So yes if you had a list of things to do (sounds like yours would be 'DS homework'), he might 'win' in terms of tasks accomplished.

Did your adult dd pat him on the head and give him a gold sticker for his Very Busy Day?

(The person who has not had a chilled day is your neighbour, who had to listen to lawn mowing on a Sunday. But then, I'm German and we have rules for that).

Breakfast was cereal fruit and toast for me and ds. Dh was asleep. Lunch was salad and chicken.
fir everyone.
Dh put away food delivery.

Most folk do a ten hour shift then that lot on top, sorry

Neither of you had a particularly difficult day. In fact, quite the opposite.

Exactly this!
the “but I commute” vs “I’m home with our special need kids all day” soon became tedious and now split a few years

He couldn't have done less if he tried.

Sounds like normal family life.
Mind you i cant remember the last time i got out of bed at 7am 9am is early for me.

Reading it again it’s not been taxing but he’s been on the go the majority of the day except when he sat in the garden for from what I can work out was 90 minutes so he had been on the go the majority of the day

it’s not top trumps as in he’s not allowed to feel as though he’s been busy because you decided he wasn’t

I think I only have a day like this where I would do so very little, from either of your days, about once a year. If that. And I’m happy about that. As I’m sure other people are who have many days like yours.

He did more than the OP though

Well you didnt do much, although I note that you were up earlier and tended to DS which your DH did not do. But DH did seem to do a fair bit - dog walking; dealing with online shop can entail a lot of sorting and putting away; mowing lawn; prepped and made tea. So maybe it didnt feel like a “do nothing” day for him like it did for you.
[Edited as I re-considered my main point]

this is so silly but your dh did more chores one after another from the point he got up and you did games on and off from an earlier start with naps in between with one chore

Absolutely right

Please don’t get into a situation where someone has to win the I had it harder game.

He is used to working a lot less hard than you are I should think, but TBH your days look about equal- you should increase his responsibilities. My partner always does the washing up, preps the veg, strips the beds and makes the beds- he is useless at cleaning so I find other things for him- don't just martyr yourself, a lot of male jobs are occasional, like fixing the car or things in the house- make sure he has plenty of regular jobs as well.