DH hates job and wants to quit

[StarAstrid]

My DH started a new job about 18 months ago. It was a promotion in a new company but he has hated it from the moment he started. He keeps saying that he thinks he should quit as it having such a negative effect on him. I think he should find something else to go to but he says he can’t do that as he has no time to look for anything else as his current job takes up so much time (which is true). He is really down and I don’t want him to be unhappy but he earns twice as much as me and we would really struggle if he took a big pay cut. So AIBU?

I’ve been in this position. Do you really want to wait until he has a nervous breakdown. You sound pretty selfish because you are putting your financial needs above his health.

Can he use some annual leave, parental leave or sick leave to look for other opportunities/get his stuff in order?

I agree it's not ideal for him to leave with nothing to go to, but equally he can't just stay there indefinitely.

He needs to find another job then he can quit this one. We are heading for a recession. Now is not a good time to be unemployed. He needs to be an adult.

He needs to take some leave and get his job hunting set up, not this black and white view. Then you support him to do one evening and one weekend afternoon job hunting (where he just dumps his current job and does this, if he really is working every evening and weekend)

How would he go about getting another job? If it's through a recruitment agency can you do some of the leg work for him? So make the appointments to meet, using his email account so it looks like it is him.

Then he needs to use annual leave to meet with them.

Ignore comments about putting financial security ahead of his mental health. The reality is that if you are struggling financially then that will have a huge impact on his mental health too. The best approach is for him to stay in the job, you to pick up more slack until he finds another one and him to use leave when necessary to go to meetings and interviews.