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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Selfish lover, AIBU?

33 replies

Handbagsfromhell · 13/07/2025 23:01

NC as its embarrassing. I'm a very long-term poster.

I drove hours to spend the weekend with a new love interest (it's long distance but I've known of him 20+ years) and I've just had the most unsatisfying sex I've probably ever had.

After years of celibacy and suspecting I might be Asexual, I finally connected with somebody I had those feelings for and was so excited to rediscover that part of a relationship.

I bought some gorgeous underwear, no expenses spared, and it started well (once he could drag himself away from his phone, who the hell deals with work admin then inane chat with friends on a Sunday when you're supposed to be on a saucy weekend?!)

He finished after 10 minutes or so but I hadn't. I asked him to 'help' me (sorry, I'm already cringing I don't want to be graphic) and he does for a few minutes then stops because he couldn't be arsed. I'm still not there.

Right OK, I thought, I'll do it myself then and tell him such.

He then pisses about trying to make me lose my stride, so to speak. Grabs my legs and pulls me down the bed, arsing about and taking the piss.

This is after I mentioned needing to keep the 'aid' in a certain position to get there.

Then says he's going for a cigarette. Killed it stone dead.

I'm actually annoyed.

He comes back in and says "Don't worry, that was only round 1"

I said "nah, you're alright. The moment has passed"

AIBU to feel so annoyed about this? Am I over reacting? How would you feel?

OP posts:
Springtimehere · 14/07/2025 08:45

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Handbagsfromhell · 14/07/2025 08:54

I woke up to a text saying "thank you for the company, I saw what you said. Leave the key at reception when you check out. Take care getting home"

..and blocked me on everything 😂

So he either caught a glimpse of this thread over my shoulder or a text to my friend.

Meh, I was planning on blocking him myself today anyway.

OP posts:
User37482 · 14/07/2025 08:55

You should have shouted “NULL POINTS”

Shesellsseashellsnotinmystreet · 14/07/2025 08:58

I hope you eat the 2 breakfasts!

Rootsdarling2 · 14/07/2025 09:01

YANBU just block him. The fact you drove and went out of your way for him speaks volumes OP.

Join a dating site... least you likely go for dinner and have a good time!

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 14/07/2025 10:03

Lazy lover, throw him back. He should be embarrassed not you.

Handbagsfromhell · 14/07/2025 15:05

I think he is embarrassed but if not then he should be for sure!

OP posts:
juststrutting · 14/07/2025 15:56

Ugh… glad the rubbish has taken itself out

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