Sex weirdness after pregnancy

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I have two DC (6 and 2) and also experienced infertility. I used to like sex and we had a good and regular sex life, DH and I were both satisfied, if anything I had a slightly higher libido but mostly we were well-matched.

Infertukity made sex much more functional and stressful than it had ever been. And I BF both of my DC until they were 2, so by boobs were off limits to DH, plus sex was very painful for me during that time (without lubrication).

but now I’m done BF and I’m knackered, yes, but also, sex just seems so silly and bizarre? Like we’re just two apes and I can’t take it seriously at all. Once we get going I’m into it and enjoy it, but it’s getting to that point that seems to take a lot of mental effort. Theoretically I want to have sex, and I am still attracted to DH (he’s a great H and dad). But the minute we’re in bed I’m just a pile of laughter. I feel bad for poor DH as he doesn’t quite get it. I’m not sure I do either, why I suddenly feel so awkward or nervous around sex. I’ve got a coil and DH has had the snip so I’m not at all worried about pregnancy.

AIBU to feel this way? It’s like sex used to have a mystical property to it that made me take it sort of seriously. But post DC it’s like…just something absurd? Anyone else?

Is it how planned it all needs to be now? There’s something I find comical about how we have to purposefully plan how and when so that we aren’t disturbed whereas pre kids you could be so much more spontaneous

I think this isn’t that unusual. Your youngest is only 2 and you’ve only stopped bf-ing so be easy on yourself. Libido is a movable feast. You might not have the libido you had in your 20s anytime soon but it’s unlikely you’ll feel this way forever either. Give yourself the time and space to ease back into it. And keep talking to DH. The fact that you are both working on it together is good, even if it’s not exactly how you want it to be right now.