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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Removal company vs friends helping

74 replies

RealSwan · 13/07/2025 19:10

We are moving in hopefully a months time (literally 3 minutes drive)
been quoted £2500 to move using companies with packing or £1900 to move without packing.
Around £180 to hire a Luton van for 48hrs the use of a family friends van also and lots of friends family volunteered to help.
DH parents gifted us some money to help with moving now angry we want to do it ourselves.
We have plenty other expenses this could help towards. AIBU? Seems like a waste of money to me…they wouldn’t offer to help us anyway. We do have two small children but one probably at nursery that day anyway and my parents around to help

OP posts:
Okdaisy · 13/07/2025 19:12

Are you selling a property too? If so, you realise you will need your old house completely empty before you can enter the new property. So all your stuff may not fit a Luton van. Which is why most people get removals. If you have an overlap in properties DIY is doable.

WhyIsMyLifeFullOfLemons · 13/07/2025 19:13

If they specifically gifted you the money for moving fees then use it for that or offer it back.
They gave it for a purpose and it’s rude and grabby to then do that thing cheaply but still pocket the cash for other use.

MsJemimaPuddleDuck · 13/07/2025 19:13

£2500 and only 3 minutes down the road?! Mine was £800 and it was 5 hours down the motorway. Of course yanbu to get friends & family to help.

rubyslippers · 13/07/2025 19:13

There’s no way I would pack up a family home even with offers of help
moving appliances, large furniture, wrapping up every bit of Glassware
if you’re all up for it it, great but don’t underestimate what a task it is

Poopeepoopee · 13/07/2025 19:14

WhyIsMyLifeFullOfLemons · 13/07/2025 19:13

If they specifically gifted you the money for moving fees then use it for that or offer it back.
They gave it for a purpose and it’s rude and grabby to then do that thing cheaply but still pocket the cash for other use.

This. Can't believe you thought you could keep that money for yourself to be honest.

Dearg · 13/07/2025 19:14

Insurance. If your friends damage something you are probably out of pocket . A removals company, especially if they packed , will have insurance to cover damage.

Plus, friends can let you down

AluckyEllie · 13/07/2025 19:17

I can see why the in laws are annoyed, they’ve given you money for a specific something. If you aren’t going to use it for that give it back.
As for moving how serious are these people about helping or was it a casual comment. If you have a
child in nursery that day is it a weekday move? Are people really going to use a day of annual leave/loose a days wages to help you move house?
Removals Companies have very good insurance as well as being a well oiled machine. They are very efficient, rather than a group of people getting in each others way and packing badly. So basically- who are the people volunteering and do you think they’d do a good job.

youreactinglikeafunmum · 13/07/2025 19:20

Do you live in buckingham palace op?? 😄😄 you must do for that absolutely extortionate price!

I moved from a 2 bed to a top floor flat across london and paid £500

The men used a Luton van and all was fine

I wouldnt want to help someone move but that said, as its only 3 mins away, I'd say yanbu

But pay the person back their money though, or some of it at least x

Michele09 · 13/07/2025 19:21

Can you compromise somewhere in between the two? We moved all our boxes and small items of furniture ourselves and used removals just for large items like wardrobes that were hard to get up and downstairs. A couple of minutes away like you, we only needed removals people for a couple of hours so £200 pounds

HappiestSleeping · 13/07/2025 19:22

If you use friends, be prepared for them all to let you down gently by not turning up.

Original poster
RealSwan · 13/07/2025 19:23

They didn’t specify it was for removals….just general costs associated with moving. E.g solicitors amongst other things.
Im already packing a lot of things. We don’t have anything particularly valuable. The friends are very close to us a couple won’t be working as summer holidays, my parents and definitely one of my brothers as he also works in a school. Potentially the other one if off work. Planned to load up one day move the next.

OP posts:
Surroundedbyfools · 13/07/2025 19:24

If I could afford it I’d go with the professional movers and packers. Much easier and less hassle. Also someone ur paying is much much less likely to show up late or drop out !!

Original poster
RealSwan · 13/07/2025 19:25

youreactinglikeafunmum · 13/07/2025 19:20

Do you live in buckingham palace op?? 😄😄 you must do for that absolutely extortionate price!

I moved from a 2 bed to a top floor flat across london and paid £500

The men used a Luton van and all was fine

I wouldnt want to help someone move but that said, as its only 3 mins away, I'd say yanbu

But pay the person back their money though, or some of it at least x

Absolutely not haha a small terraced house was very shocked with the quotes so got more and all are similar 😅 also have said if it’s a problem would give it back (although didn’t say it was specially for removal company) I just don’t like wasting money most of the costs seem to be vat and insurances

OP posts:
AbzMoz · 13/07/2025 19:25

Just pay the movers and save your friendships and your own sanity. You’re paying for an important, insured service at an already stressful time.

Ilikewinter · 13/07/2025 19:26

That does sounds very expensive, we paid just over £2k and that was to move 150 miles and overnight storage!.

When we moved local me, DH and DB did it, but it was a back breaker and we swore never again!

SparrowFeet · 13/07/2025 19:26

Friends will of course help you with moving because they're friends. However, they don't want to help you with moving. Trust me. Take the money and spend it on what it's meant for.

Original poster
RealSwan · 13/07/2025 19:27

Michele09 · 13/07/2025 19:21

Can you compromise somewhere in between the two? We moved all our boxes and small items of furniture ourselves and used removals just for large items like wardrobes that were hard to get up and downstairs. A couple of minutes away like you, we only needed removals people for a couple of hours so £200 pounds

Edited

Ooh I didn’t actually think of this this may be a great compromise. How did you get them to quote? Come over again and just point out the larger things? My mum also lives very close by and wouldn’t mind me storing a few bits for a while as she has the room

OP posts:
Kitkatfiend31 · 13/07/2025 19:27

Pay the removals. It's a mammoth job that will take much longer than you think. Just because people say they will help doest mean they will be available all day or happy to move heavy items. It will be stressful enough even with a removal company. Also they will be able to store stuff for you if you get any hold ups on the buying/selling.

Original poster
RealSwan · 13/07/2025 19:28

SparrowFeet · 13/07/2025 19:26

Friends will of course help you with moving because they're friends. However, they don't want to help you with moving. Trust me. Take the money and spend it on what it's meant for.

Why would they offer to help then? We didn’t ask, they were in the same position 3 years ago and absolutely didn’t get removals in

OP posts:
Sunshine5791 · 13/07/2025 19:28

Are you selling and buying a property? Those transactions are normally on a week day and you are expected to be out of the house at the time of completion. (Or at least extremely close to be being out). Our 3 bed house filled a proper lorry (and then had to send a van for the kids garden stuff as it wouldn’t fit). Doing several trips with a van wouldn’t have worked at all. The new people own your old house and don’t want your crap in it! If you are moving from rented though, it’s completely different, you can take as long as you like to move as long as you keep paying the rent.

WTR your in-laws money, If they have gifted it to make your lives easier, I think you should use it for what they have given it for or give it back. Or at least have a discussion with them about what you would prefer to spend it on. Would they not think another use is equally valid, ie new carpets or wardrobes or something vital for the new house?

Noottoday · 13/07/2025 19:28

Backs get ruined for life. Your mates are not used to lifting really heavy stuff all day. I would definitely not risk other people's health to save myself a few quid.

CrotchetyQuaver · 13/07/2025 19:32

Get the pro movers to pack your stuff up and load the lorry, they are like machines. Then have your friends help you at the new house with the unpacking and making it a home again. All the removal men will do it deliver boxes and furniture to the appropriate rooms. There's a good chance you'll need or want to give cupboards a wipe before putting anything in them etc etc, making up beds and this is where friends on moving day come in really handy sharing the load.

SparrowFeet · 13/07/2025 19:32

Why would they offer to help @RealSwan? Because that's what friends do.

Take them up on the offer if that's what you want to do but I'm sure friends and family will be glad of someone breaking the expectation, especially if you've been given the money to use.

OurBeautifulBaby · 13/07/2025 19:33

I don’t think it would be wise to rely on family and friends unless you are certain they are keen to help and won’t let you down.

stichguru · 13/07/2025 19:34

Use the removals. Removal men have a experience in lifting and packing well. They will also have insurance if they damage something, and if they damage themselves it will most probably be their fault! If you are using friends and they miss judge a lift and hurt themselves, you'll kick yourself.