AIBU, My clothes stink and I blame DH?

[Jojimoji]

DH took early retirement and as such is now responsible for almost all household tasks as I still have to work.

This is mostly marvellous, as I come home to clean house, dinners made, dogs walked .......and clothes washed. Herein lies the problem.

I workout almost every day. Intense workouts and I sweat a lot and my gym wear ends up pretty wet. I did the washing for almost 30 years in this family and never had a problem, but DH insists on not doing a load until there is enough dirty laundry to fill the machine stuffed to the gills. No half or three quarter loads permitted on his watch. And worst of all, he washes everything at 30 degrees. This just doesn't cut the mustard with my gym clothes.. often they've been rotting in the basket for a couple of days and then they are put through a coldish wash, bacteria remains, I put them on again, start to sweat and then I STINK. Or rather the clothes stink.

I've told him they need washing at a higher temperature. I've no problem separating my washing and doing my own. DH says that this is completely unreasonable. He pointed out the label on the clothes ( which does inexplicably actually advise to wash at 30!! ) says that it's unreasonable to separate my clothes for separate washes as the machine won't be full and then he reckons washing at 40 is worse for the clothes, and even reckons 30 degrees is more environmentally friendly and he is saving the planet.

YABU..let him wash the stuff at 30 and just put up with stinking out the gym

YANBU ..those clothes need washing at least 40 degrees. DH is wrong and you must wrestle the responsibility for the laundry away from this mad man.

Your dh. Has fallen for the hype. The green pretence that washing at lower temps will somehow, miraculously save the planet.

Explain he's been duped. He's saving tuppence on heating the water but using chemically enhanced, smellier products that cause all sorts of damage and if they were any good why are dettol making another additive to clean clothes on top of the washing product. And why is it selling?

The clothes won’t wash properly if the drum is too full.

I don’t understand why you can’t wash them yourself.

You would rather smell and argue about it, than just put your own clothes in.

Yes he’s retired so should be doing 90% of the housework but that doesn’t mean you should do none.

The unwritten rule is that the person at home should do the majority of the chores but if the other person wants it done a specific way, then they need to do it themselves.

Sounds like a training opportunity for DH. He clearly doesn’t know how to do the laundry effectively.

The machine isn’t meant to be FULL otherwise it won’t agitate and wash the clothes properly.

I load it between half to three quarters full.

Wash your own clothes then

Oh god. This resonates

He’s convinced that if he goes through the motions of the chore, the chore has been done. No actual assessment of effectiveness.

i have one of these. Has a bee in his bonnet and is firmly of the belief that clothes don’t actually need airing. He is very very wrong, and also has no sense of smell. Bleauch.

Haven’t read the whole thread so apologies if this has been suggested but could you buy some dettol laundry cleanser - it works at 30 degrees and kills bacteria, smells etc.

My alternative reply is, screw him and put your own laundry on at whatever temp you want because he’s being a weird dictator about it!

Why does he get to decide about the laundry? How ridiculous, I don't understand why you are capitulating.

Dettol will be delighted by this thread 😆

So, his arguments are:

1. Your clothes labels say 30
2. 30 saves the planet
3. Full loads only to save the planet

My arguments would be:

1. The labels are these to cover the manufacturer's arse, so they can accuse you of washing it more harshly than they advised when you complain that their overpriced products have fallen to pieces. It doesn't mean that garment must not be washed more vigorously or at a higher temperature than the label says.
2. Has he calculated the difference in energy use between washing at 30 and at 40? With a modern machine, it's surprisingly small. To be exact - my washing machine uses 0.2kWh for a 30 load, and 0.3kWh for a 40 load. Could probably be covered by not boiling a kettle or three. Maybe he should stop drinking tea and coffee, and save the planet. Only eat cold food, and save the planet. Turn off the fridge-freezer, and save the planet.
3. Given the actual low amount of electricity used per load, the occasional half load will not destroy the planet (I mentioned he could always give up hot drinks, didn't I?). I have occasionally put a particular shirt (which I do not trust not to bleed colour, even after a year) in on its own, because 5.146p (0.2kWh - at 25.73p per kWh) - is worth it to not discolour the rest of my clothes. I'm pretty sure it's worth 7.719p to you to wash today's gym clothes on their own at 40!

Get yourself an energy monitor and stick it on the washing machine - let's see him argue 'saving the planet' then! If you're feeling wicked, stick it on anything he uses, like a desktop or a gaming console or a garden mower and moan at him that he's killing the planet with his wasteful unnecessary electricity use.

Oh not sure, tbh this is my pack (see photo) and they encourage you to put it in every wash, so it can't be that bad at the recommended concentration. Even chucking a load in the sink and soaking for a few hours doesn't seem to affect the colours of cotton dyed clothes.

I love this.
Thank you so much.

Evidence based rebuttal of all of his arguments!!!

He is a fairly logical, (if sometimes pigheaded) soul, so this post nails it.

According to the guy on morning TV recently 40 doesn’t kill the bacteria anyway, 60 does

Friend of ours irons knickers to ensure bugs and fungus spores are deaded.

The other mental thing on 'save the planet' a tumble dryer uses far more electricity than a washing machine.
There are country's in this world with much better weather than the UK for drying stuff outside that would much rather use a dryer!

Do it yourself

30 degrees makes the machine go mouldy too, you have to have SOME hot washes!

I'd be doing my own gym gear.

A full machine washes really badly as the clothes can’t move around. A half load makes much cleaner smelling clothes

Crikey, good for them I suppose 🤣

Just take responsibility for washing your own gym gear if there is a particular way you want it done. Not much of a chore if he does everything else.

I loved it when my DH retired before me. So lovely coming home to dinner on, DH in his apron, pushing a glass of wine into my hand and settling me on the sofa (wine not every night obviously).

How are you prevented from doing your own washing? Would he really intervene if you were to start washing your gym clothes separately?

I only wash towels at 60, I'm worried everything else would shrink! I really don't think my underwear could cope with 60! Everything else goes in at 30, 40 at a push and bras go on a hand wash cycle. Nothing smells and everything is clean.

It's possibly the fact that he is overloading the machine that means the clothes are not being washed properly.

I wash dd's gym clothes at 30 degrees no problem although I will do the occasional 40 degree wash.

Most washing machines you can put a cotton cycle on about 3/4 full but synthetics cycles are meant to be half a load only.

Also you need to do a 90 degree maintenance wash with an empty drum and bicarb or white vinegar once every few weeks or so.

I wash most things on 60. I don't care. I have disgusting children and I was sick of the washing machine stinking every few weeks.

If he is a logical type, get him to look up what your washing machine manufacturer says about optimum loads. I think he will find that they all say the drum should be no more than 75% full - more than that means the wash is not efficient, and overloading can damage the bearings and shorten the life of the machine.

For example, Bosch is pretty clear: www.bosch-home.co.uk/customer-service/get-support/washing-machines/how-much-should-i-fill-my-washing-machine

I agree, I wash everything on 30, stains on 40, only towels and tea towels/cloths on 60.

I was just mentioning it as the expert on TV said 30 is good for most things, but only 60 will kill bacteria eg. on stinky gym clothes.