'Proper' Beach Etiquette

[Difficile]

AIBU unreasonable here?

We've been at a beach since earlier this morning, set up our little beach shelter (for baby naps) and chairs a respectful distance from the next people to us.

The beach is busy, but very large, and there is plenty of space, albeit in a less favourable place (you'd have to move when the tide comes in).

Several very large families have since come to the beach and put themselves directly next to us, moving our things to do so, and also directly behind us even though all that is behind us is rocks. They've literally surrounded us on all sides.

It's left us feeling incredibly hemmed in, especially with them all speaking very very loudly and screaming/swearing.

Their children are also stealing our things and the parents are just ignoring them, and they're playing football right in front of us and keep kicking the ball into our tent.

AIBU to expect a bit of beach etiquette? That you leave a bit of space between you and the next family (especially when there is plenty or space!), you don't shout and scream, you don't play games that will disturb others when you could play it elsewhere, and you teach your kids not to nick stuff?

Nope. Just choosing to. There's enough space that they've just set up a massive game of tug of war in front of us. They're playing football, someone's brought speakers and they're now dancing and playing volleyball with a full sized net (metal with a proper net and everything)... This is not a small beach!

Places close to car parks etc are always busy. They want to be there for the same reason you do.

If you want space you need to traipse to the bits of the beach no one else can be bothered to walk to.

YABU to expect people to give you loads of extra space in a premium location. YANBU to expect people not to move or touch your stuff.

I'm not expecting loads of extra space, I am expecting for someone not to essentially sit with us and look like part of our family because they're so close, make us uncomfortable, touch our stuff, nick our things and generally just be unpleasant.

One woman has literally just sat on our picnic blanket because they've not got enough space! I've told her to get off and she looked offended!

Karma for the holiday home 😂

But you won't get the behaviour you want from most of the people who usually sit in the spots nearest the entrance. Have you never been to the beach before or something This is completely standard for that part of the beach.

Don't get me wrong, its rude and unpleasant behaviour. But your choices are to put up with it, challenge them (which won't change anything, it'll just cause an argument that you won't win) or walk further from that part of the beach.

Thing is, Brits have a very specific idea of personal space and what constitutes public politeness. IME a lot of other nationalities take the polar opposite approach because it’s seen as almost rude or antisocial to set up camp miles away from the only other people on the beach. In a lot of warmer countries, people are more comfortable flocking together.

I felt like a particular kind of arsehole in Cuba when I just really wanted a quiet Sunday on the beach and had to very obviously move myself away from the spreading cluster of huge families with boomboxes and dozens of kids and BBQs that just continued to build throughout the day. The beach was huge and empty, but everyone seemed to want to cluster together, like one big rowdy beach party. It was incredibly joyful and fun, but I was bloody knackered - and I felt sooo rude moving.

Different cultures have very different norms, and few are as protective or aware of personal space as the British. Where are you OP?

@Difficile they sound awful

on another note this has made getting on and off beach with loads of gear a breeze - highly recommend.

Play them at their own game. Could DC do a poo in the portable potty and you leave it open close to where they have set up?

Maybe they chose their spot because they wanted to be by the rocks.

They shouldn’t be stealing things or letting their ball go on your picnic rug etc. However, it’s a beach, not a library, plus a hot weekend. Kids play football, cricket, scream and shout. That’s what happens, and always has done. They’re a family having fun on the beach.

But you need a pushchair to get the baby to the beach in the first place! And the shelf thing underneath the seat it very useful for transporting stuff.

As is said, YANBU to expect people not to touch your stuff. Beyond that I’m afraid it’s a public beach and you’re in a premium location. It’s obviously annoying to be crowded but it comes with the territory I’m afraid.

You don't "need" a pushchair. And they've got a cart too! They've obviously got mountains of stuff, perhaps they do need it all, I have no idea. But if you set up right by the entrance it will be very crowded, just how beaches go.

People are awful. The older I get, the more obvious it is. They just seem to have no idea how awful they are, or they don’t care. If you go through life actually caring about the impact you have on other people it is utterly exhausting and dispiriting to see quite how many people you share the planet with don’t seem to give the tiniest fuck about anyone else.

I honestly don’t know how they do it, but this is the world we live in.

I'm sorry but if you want a quiet space then you need to walk further. The entrance to a beach is always
Mobbed.

Get one of those pull along trailer things

You do need one if you’ve got a heavy 10-month old who doesn’t really like going in the carrier and getting all hot and bothered! Much better to be in a pushchair with the shade over and a fan on! But yes, I agree that the part of the beach near the entrance is always going to be busiest,

I often have to plonk us down at the nearest space that resembles a space, my 5 year old weighs 17kg , his buggy weighs 14kg plus his suction unit and feed pump, I have to pull him backwards across the sand and it ain't easy. But I would probably looked shame faced and would apologise, we either do that or we simply can't go on the sand. We do sit quietly though and don't encroach on other people's blankets/chairs/bags etc.

Would a couple of windbreakers to mark your space help?

Similar happened to us a few weeks ago. Massive and I mean massive beach, so much space and they plonk themselves almost in our laps

Then the water guns come out and we are getting wet. as they don't care where they are shooting them. A few dirty looks and that stopped

Edited and there is no entrance to this beach, it is that long

It's a specific complex of holiday cottages that can't be used as permanent accommodation. We haven't taken housing stock from locals and forced prices up.

They sound very rude and inconsiderate. Moving your stuff, kicking the ball so close and taking your things are all unacceptable. But setting up next to you when you're near the entrance to the beach is par for the course. You chose to sit there because you didn't want to walk further, so did they. But they still sound awful.

This happened to us a few years ago, on a beach in Northumberland. It was slightly off-season, the beach was almost deserted, and for reasons known only to themselves, a large family decided to set up right next to me, DH and the three DC. It felt really weird, actually - a huge, almost empty beach (Bamburgh, I think it was) and they wanted to sit within about two metres of us. We weren't even particularly close to the exit path.

I must admit I tried having a quiet word, which didn't go down well at all, even though I was fairly polite. Despite their entitlement, it was my family that ended up moving in the end, but that was better than having our space taken over. People are strange.

They sound dreadful, but unfortunately you often seem to get that type of person at the beach as everywhere else.

I wouldn't have hesitated to say something to them the minute they touched any of my stuff, I don't care about offending people.
However those types have a skin thicker than a rhino so they don't give a toss. Because of that I would have moved. Being annoyed with other people is more upsetting than moving your stuff down the beach.

But on the other hand I have never in my life chosen to go near the entrance to a beach. I live about half an hour from the beach and go quite frequently. Even when my children were tiny we would walk right to the end to get away from the crowds near the entrance, even if it's a pain to carry the stuff. Always had space, even on a busy day.

This is exactly what is so unpleasant about the English seaside in summer.

The moment the weather is nice you get the entire cast of Chas ‘n Dave’s Down to Margate video descending on the beach. A huge tented encampment gets erected, right in front of some other hapless beach-dweller. 10 carrier bags full of booze are dumped. Crisp packet fly and litter is strewn. Footballs booted into your towels, portable speaker on full blast. Red hairy tattooed bellies are out and before you know it the whole beach is louder than a day down the blast furnace.

Count me out!

British people always do this. The beach could be empty and someone else will pitch up next to you

You had a cart. Of course you could have gone further. You chose not to go to a “less favourable” area.

People shouldn’t move your stuff, kids shouldn’t steal your stuff. You shouldn’t let them.