Dd18 seemingly totally unprepared for solo trip abroad?

[IWantAMassiveEasterEgg]

dd18 is leaving tomorrow for a trip to other side of the world for 3 weeks volunteering but is worryingly unprepared.
she’s had her required jabs and I picked up malaria tablets for her.

However she’s still got paperwork she needs to print out, she hasn’t packed despite me offering all weekend to give her a hand just has a huge pile of clothes dumped in the corner of her room. Most of which looks like she’s packing for a girls trip away and not a trip to a Muslim country (I have advised her and she just rolls her eyes).

she’s exchanged no currency yet and I feel like there’s probably things she’s missed reading the information. Last night she stumbled across the fact one of her flights has a tiny luggage allowance but instead of trying to book more on she went out for drinks with friends and got in at 1am this morning.

I’ve told her I’m in the office tomorrow so this weekend was her chance to have my help/pick last minute things up.

Im usually quite relaxed about them facing their own consequences but this trip is a big deal and I’m worried about her not being prepared - I don’t have the financial means to bail her out.

What to do?

Send her a list of everything she needs to do. Tell her if she isn’t going to prep properly you won’t bail her. Tell her you love her and should have a great time and then leave her to it.

im a last minute person and always have been and it has mostly always been fine!

Oh that's tricky! I'm currently on a similar 3 week solo trip but I'm in my late 30s so a lot better organised 😆 I'm not really sure what else you can do, it's not like you've just left her with no help - if she's ignoring what you're saying there's only so much you can do. I think I'd be keen to see she makes the flight ok in terms of paperwork but the packing is her problem - if she gets there and realises she's missing loads of stuff that's a lesson for next time!

Does she have appropriate insurance?

Thats the must have. And if volunteering, then really need to check it’s the right insurance as many standard travel ones won’t cover that.

Then check the FCO advice (as that’s always a requirement of the insurance).

Beyond that, she’ll need to navigate it herself.

Leave her to it, but with instructions on what needs doing before she goes. When she can't go/gets stuck/can't do something because she's not prepared, she'll learn for next time.

DS at 18 went on four month trip round the world. I honestly had no idea how much it cost, how much money he had. I assume he took out insurance. Who knows? There comes a time when you have to let them get on with it. At that age I was Married and working.

I think things like exchanging currency and printing documents are just irrelevant now - you can use your phone or card to pay abroad or use a cash machine once you get there to get money/facilities in the hotel to exchange a little bit for small purchases. And with paperwork you can show phone screen/QR codes mostly these days.

Airlines will let you pay on the day to increase baggage allowance too so don’t worry about it!

Well, my DD can pack in about 15 mins if needed. I’ve seen her do it.

most airports sell toothpaste and other toiletries, and even Muslim countries have shops.

some Muslim countries even allow women to wear western clothes.

currency can be exchanged at the airport, yes she’ll pay more for it but that’s the price you pay.

some Muslim countries (Morocco for example) you need to be in country to get local currency anyway.

seriously, back off and leave her to it.

if she isn’t sorted at the airport then the airline will deal with it. It’s always possible to buy extra luggage at check in (usually for a massive price but that’s her lookout).

Ok thanks for your replies - I just wanted some reassurance really that I wasn’t being an horrible parent letting her deal with any consequences of being unprepared.

Ha! I can pack in 15 mins and indeed did when I went off backpacking in Thailand at 18. Opened my bag when I got there and there was a big fluffy winter coat, ten vest tops and literally nothing else. Nothing like skirts or shorts (other than the trousers I came in), no underwear, no toiletries at all. I had sending off drinks with my friends and genuinely can't remember packing!

I survived. Maybe give her a nudge about any paperwork she actually needs to do but otherwise, just leave her to it! I'm sure she'll cope, she'll be able to buy anything she needs whilst she's there and it'll be character building (along with the volunteering of course!)

Definitely wouldn't be pleased if my DC dressed immodestly in a Muslim country and disrespected the local customs.

At some point in some countries you'd get in trouble with the authorities.

Get a photo of her passport, flight details, visa, jusf in case there is an issue later.

Bite ointment, antihistamine tablets, diarrhoea and motilium tablets and plasters, sun cream.

Sun hat

Why does she need to exchange currency..?

Insurance is the important thing.

I'm sure I must have driven my mum mad when I was 18 with my lackadaisical approach to international travel, I was just like your daughter. I always managed to pull it together and get things sorted in the end though. I'm sure your daughter will manage to pull through!

Depends on the country though surely? I mean there's a pretty big difference between, say, Dubai or Saudi Arabia Vs Morocco or Egypt. The latter I saw plenty of people (not just tourists) wearing quite skimpy clothing. I just got back from Morocco and it was weird the contrast between the more traditional/I guess religious women on the beach in burkinis and the women in bikinis (again just to be clear, this was a mix of Moroccan women and tourists). Same in Egypt but I got groped and sexually assaulted several times there despite dressing modestly. So depending on where she's going maybe just warn her of potential dangers and keeping herself safe.

Dubai, Saudi Arabia and essentially all the middle eastern countries I would never go to out of principle.

@IWantAMassiveEasterEgg what country is your DD going to?

Shes going to Tanzania @Andoutcomethewolvesand it says there are some more relaxed areas for dressing but for the most part it says to dress modestly (shoulders and knees have to be covered).

It’s a closed currency they said but can exchange American dollars there which is what they’ve advised to take.

Which country if you don’t mind me asking?

Tanzania is not a Muslim country (although it has a proportion of Muslim people). Dress will be relaxed although she should avoid wearing beach wear away from the beach.
Travel insurance is the main thing she needs, and to use her malaria meds and mosquito repellent and suncream. Any forgotten items she will be able to buy there on arrival.

Let her sort it.

She'll learn the hard why if she gets it all wrong.

Sounds like she needs a reality check.

I think she needs to take two outfits that are suitable. She will get absolutely sick of wearing those all the time so that will teach her an important lesson.

Please do make sure she has travel insurance - that's so important. I would also find out the embassy's phone number and get her to put that into her phone just in case.

I do understand - I had one like this and it was so frustrating!

Lived in Tanzania for a number of years, (I won’t get into the voluntarism aspect!) it isn’t a Muslim country and while there is conservative dress, there are a lot of tourists in shorts, T-shirts etc, if she way too revealing she will be able to buy cheap clothes at markets. I’d just let her crack on as long as she has insurance, if she’s forgotten anything or packs inappropriately she can solve it all in country.

Does she have a visa if she needs one? Both of my DDs have had last minute panics about visas.

Does she actually want to go? And have you researched the impact of these “volunteering holidays”???

You’re not being horrible. You’ve offered help, she’s declined. She’s an adult now and part of that is accepting what happens if you mess up. Hard to watch as a Parent sometimes but she’ll learn a lot from any mistakes she makes.

They are the opposite of good will, aren’t they..? Think I read something about it.