To suspect autism?

[dampsquib94]

My 14mo is screaming at bedtime and naptime every single day for at least an hour (NOT sleep training, staying beside cot, which is in our room, until morning!). This has been going on for about two months now.

Biting, scratching, pinching. Pushing you away when upset. Rarely wanting cuddles. Loves all remote controls, not fussed on cuddly toys! Little receptive language and two kind-of-words used inconsistently.

AIBU to suspect autism when both DH and I are also autistic? It seems like it would make sense to me, but family are very much on the "don't label your child, wait to see how they get on in school" side of things. I think, if my child needs it, it would help to try to get ahead of things with a diagnosis and possibly EHCP well before they have to go through mainstream education like we did (again, if they need it).

Sorry if this sounds like a rant, all of us are sleep deprived at the moment!

Should have added: a friend suggested that these changes in behaviour could also be explained by exhaustion, which would also make sense. Would it still be worth seeing a paediatrician?

It’s highly genetic from what I’ve read. The waiting list for diagnosis through the NHS can be years depending on your area and EHCPs are hard to get even with the diagnosis, so makes sense to start the process early. It took my son around three years from being referred to diagnosis. Not that the diagnosis has achieved much practically. Although he struggles with school work and is about two years behind the rest of his class. his school have told us he’s not severely affected enough to get an EHCP.

It’s hot and bedtime can be fraught. Out of interest which two words does your dc have? I’d try feeding him a bit more and getting an airconditioner.

Thanks for this, to be honest we've been warned by the GP that everything like this takes years in our area so I think we would have to go private unfortunately.

I used to work as a TA and it's worth knowing that you can 100% apply without school's support!

I think with what you describe you may struggle to het them to listen. With both parents being autistic then it is some thing to consider.

Love of remote controls and a lack of interest in cuddly toys is common that this age. I’m assuming you’ve seen the GP to rule of ear infection or other pain and given nurofen in case it’s teething pain. My other suggestion would be try cosleeping.

If on two naps a day then I would try moving to 1 as well.

It is, but this started months ago when temperatures were still normal enough. Two hours doesn't feel like it's within normal parameters. The words are "mama" and something that sounds like "yay". They eat plenty-- normally falling asleep at dinner time then having to wake up to be cleaned and the cycle starts again

Thanks @dampsquib94, I know can apply for EHCP without school support but think they are being honest that he is unlikely to get one as the system is so overwhelmed.

What’s your nap routine like? It’s the typical age for the 2->1 nap transition and that definitely can mess with night sleep whilst you’re riding it out. Also, 1st molars, learning to walk, trying to escape the cot, a big development leap… loads going on at that age that can make bedtimes tricky, it’s widely regarded as one of the ‘regressions’. If he’s so exhausted he’s falling asleep during dinner that’s a sign that something is off with the naps I reckon. Oh and my kids had a toy remote, it’s a pretty standard toy and lots of young toddlers like them. My DS also had no interest in cuddly toys until we took his dummy away at age 3 because the dummy was his comfort object.

Maybe your DA is autistic, as you know there’s a higher than typical chance if you and DH both are, and it’ll become clear later but nothing you’ve described in your OP sounds particularly unusual for his age.

It's hard to say if you should or shouldn't refer your child as we don't see the ins and outs of your day together, but as a parent if you feel something is off then I couldn't see the harm. My son (6) has just had his initial assessment for ASD and the doctor actually asked me why I waited so long, I think it's because like you I didn't want to jump the gun, he was also my first at the time and I had nothing to compare with. So I waited for years after to get going when I felt it was right, but I do wish that I had done it sooner. Perhaps it's worth reaching out to a health visitor or GP first see if anything else is going on then go from there? Good luck!

Well 14 months is very young but if your concerned speak to the health visitor.

This was us. Although we took them private. My eldest was diagnosed at age 9 and so my youngest was taken at 3 to the same place for an earlier diagnosis. I had no idea about autism but spotted signs in my 3 year old and they are different autism profiles but I still knew with my 3 year old as I'd learned a bit about autism by then.

Often a very small increase in food can have quite a large impact on sleep. Airconditioning is the holy grail for some autistic people and good sleep. It creates a cool room that helps your body temperature drop which is the precursor to sleep, but further to that the white noise and sensory stimulus of a steady “it sleep time” temperature is really helpful. You can also have something that smells (eg lavender bag) that comes out at nap time. Create the props dc needs to relax.