Aibu to be disappointed about DS’s SATs results?

[satssss]

I know I am. He got all 109s.

I’m disappointed because he had been in “greater depth” throughout all of KS2.

I am Asian and grew up with a very competitive, pushy parents and was determined that I would not be that way with my children. I never felt clever and always felt like I wasn’t good enough.

With my children, I decided that homework (with approval from the school, which felt the same) is optional in primary school (it won’t be in secondary) and that I will not push or shame.

Anyway, all of DS’s educational life so far, teachers have told me that he’s really bright. I loved hearing that. It’s like he could be the bright, able child that I wasn’t - without me cajoling and pushing and him resenting me.

My brother was the golden child. Went to Oxbridge. After Oxbridge, went back to university and became a doctor. His daughter is the same age as DS and got excellent SATs - 120 in one and above 110s in the others.

I didn’t think I cared but I am so disappointed. (I have not let DS know!)

I KNOW I’m unreasonable. I don’t know how to change my mindset. Help!!

Thank you - I hadn’t realised it was unusual to share. I haven’t shared his scores with friends or anything because it hasn’t occurred to me and nobody has asked anyway. But my brother asked me and told me his daughter’s. I sometimes get the sense that my brother is still competing with me, this time through our children!

Unfortunately you do now have to have a maths qualification to get into 6th form or college. Thanks to the government, pupils have to resit maths GCSE until they get a G4 up to the age of 18. It makes life very tough (and holds students back!) for those who just want to draw a line under maths and continue in further education!

The most important attribute to success isn’t intelligence alone. It’s grit / resilience. If he’s happy then celebrate his success. If he’s not happy support him. Do not hide his results from him- children need reality!

This is exactly what your brother is doing. He thinks his children’s successes are his !