Leaving 10yo home alone

[Moncheri101]

Just want to gauge opinion.

Do you think it’s acceptable to leave a 10yo (year 5) home alone for 45 minutes, 3 times a week?

They would have a phone and parents would be no more than a 10-15 minute walk away.

The child is sensible and feels happy about it.

Yes I would. I’d consider getting a camera to check in on them too.

Year 5/6 need to start being left alone and getting used to going to and from school alone ready for secondary school. They don’t run after school childcare.

Yes I would, my DD is the same age and I would leave her

Thanks.

I feel a bit guilty because it’s quite a trivial reason. Dh and I like to walk the dog together when we can. We could go separately but it’s nice to have a stroll together.

Previously we were doing this at other times such as when ds was at a club or older sibling was home, but for one reason or another that isn’t possible.

Ds understandably doesn’t always want to come on dog walks.

We wouldn’t go very far we stay just a few streets away and obviously build up in time.

Yes sounds like an ideal way to start building independence. We did similar at age ten. Soon they will be walking to school alone which in my opinion is more hazardous than sitting on the sofa watching TV.

I think this is quite a good way to get a 10 year old used to a bit more independence. If he ever feels he doesn’t want you to go, one of you can always stay home. If he gets worried or scared, he can call you. It’s a low pressure situation.

Yes. I started leaving mine around 10yo. He was also cycling to school independently from 3 months before he turned 10.

Now he is 12 and goes out independently, to the shops or just playing out with friends. He's out with a friend right now. I have them money to go and get themselves KFC and now I think they are riding up and down the cycle path or hanging out at my mums allotment which is just round the corner.

I honestly think it builds both trust and independence and I don't beleove in mollycoddling and hovering over them all the time. Leaving him alone at 10 kr 15 minutes is a good start. Start building up from there.

I know a kid who is 14 and is not allowed anywhere at all independently. He has to ask permission to go out into his back garden. I'm not kidding. It's awful, he's 4 years off being an adult - then what??

Just to add to the above, if there's ever a younger sibling involved, I don't agree with leaving them.
I was left with my little brother and sister to look after far too often at far too young an age and I really resented it.

No younger siblings.

With the additional information I think it's quite unnecessary and he'd be joining us on the dog walks

He does sometimes, but he has quite a few sport clubs going on during the week and weekends. So understandably he doesn’t always want to.

He might have clubs 3 times a week and plays competitive sport Saturdays and Sundays.

Yes I would. I’d consider getting a camera to check in on them too.

How would you like it if someone got a camera to check on you when you were at home? Even a 10 yo has a right to privacy in his own home.

What do you think he might be doing that would justify spying on him?

Why ?

Also, how do you intend to / or did you (don't know what dc you have) start to give them small experiences of independence as they start to grow up ?

Completely agree with this

@Moncheri101 Well surely no one would have an issue with a 10 year old doing a 30 minute walk home from school and letting themselves in the house. Why would this be any different?

Depends on the child, but totally fine for many children of that age. I regularly left mine at that age. (With the usual caveats of they were sensible/knew what to do in an emergency/had a phone/no SEN).

I’m a believer in gradually starting things like that when she is ready.

Totally. A good time to build up responsibility while you are local, definately not going to be do anything where you can't pick up the phone, and it really doesn't matter if you have to end the walk early/quickly if something he can't handle does come up!

I think it's fine if everybody is happy with it. They are a year off getting ready to go to high school so need to start learning some independence.

I also have a year 5 child although he isn't 10 for another week or so but he won't let me leave him for even 10 minutes and if he so much as hears the front door open if I'm alone he's right there asking where I'm going. Over the next year I really need to start getting him to be less anxious!! He's quite happy to walk to his friends round the corner alone but the house is a no go.