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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think neighbours are odd?

116 replies

PinkPosey6 · 12/07/2025 18:18

I live in a row of townhouses/terraces. My new next door neighbours asked whether I'd be willing to look after their small dog when they went on holiday for a week, feeding, letting out, walking etc.

I said no problem, I wanted to be a good neighbour, but was a bit daunted as I dont have a dog myself and neighbour is understandably very precious about their dog, it's like a child to them. They also commented about professional dog sitters costing a fortune.

Whilst they were away I did as asked, she had emailed a long list of instructions, the dog is very sweet and docile but has a very precise mix of wet and dry food etc. I also sanitised his eating area daily and poop a scooped in the garden and one daily walk. In total I probably spent about one hour per day across the three visits. I even cancelled going to some after work drinks as needed to be home for the dog.

I washed a section of the floor as asked (daily), where he trod mud in from the garden. I emailed updates and photos as asked, received some additional instructions as apparently i had put on his lead slightly wrongly (they have security cameras). I found it to be a lot of responsibility but I did it to be a good neighbour.

They got back a week ago and have blanked me since then. No word of thanks. They haven't directly walked towards me outside but could easily have done so to catch up and say thanks. Is it not bizarre not to thank a neighbour who has helped like this?

OP posts:
SinkthisShipPlease · 13/07/2025 09:55

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 12/07/2025 18:27

Not just odd but - who the HELL goes on holiday and leaves the dog at home with just a walker 'popping in'? Either take them with you or put them in kennels or have a housesitter. Or, indeed, get a cat instead.

One of my neighbours does this, the dog is so lonely!

Ohnobackagain · 13/07/2025 09:56

Great idea @viques but @PinkPosey6 make sure to say ‘just a bottle would have been enough’ hahaha

I cannot believe they have blanked you since! Rude, entitled, CFs.

LaughingCat · 13/07/2025 09:56

I’m so confused, OP - there’s a world of difference between nipping in to feed a cat twice a day or water plants or pull a bin out (all things I’d do as a good neighbour without expecting anything in return) and providing cleaning/wraparound care for a bloody dog without being recompensed for it. I voted YABU but only because you were nuts to agree to it in the first place.

And I’m a people-pleaser willing to do practically anything to get people to like me 😂

MsJemimaPuddleDuck · 13/07/2025 09:58

next time they ask make sure you say no. Rude CFs!

RunningJo · 13/07/2025 09:58

Cheeky fuckers!
Most likely avoiding you incase you tell them how much they owe you for doing all of that!

And no, they aren’t precious about their dog because any responsible dog owner who loves their dogs wouldn’t leave their dog in the house and go on holiday - no matter how good you were at going round, , walking etc etc. It’s not fair on the dog, definitely too much to ask a neighbour to do.
I’d avoid them, or I’d pop a note through the door with your time and costs on it!

Jennyathemall · 13/07/2025 09:59

Why are you obsessing with “what you may have done wrong” instead of “what cheeky ungrateful arseholes” they are?
Honestly some people are such doormats it’s difficult to sympathise sometimes.

LynetteScavo · 13/07/2025 10:05

@Vroomfondleswaistcoat
In the OP, it is mentioned that the neighbours have security cameras, so they are probably perfectly aware of how long the dog was interacted with and walked. They had given feedback, while still on holiday, regarding something they noticed on camera. (Because the dog couldn’t explain for himself that the lead had been put on incorrectly.)

Moveoverdarlin · 13/07/2025 10:07

I pay the 13 year old girl next door a tenner a day to come in and feed my cats. I also brought back a €50 bottle of perfume for her. Last time I was away two weeks, so it was a nice little earner for her.

They are rude rude rude. You’ve saved them hundreds and hundreds of pounds.

Sorry but I’d have to say something. I’d go round and say ‘All ok? You seem, um annoyed? Have I done something wrong? Rufus was great when I looked after him, but gosh it was a lot of work. I seem to have done you quite a big favour and saved you about £400 and now you’re not talking to me??

vintagedog · 13/07/2025 10:08

Awful people. Where I live it’s illegal to leave a dog alone for more than 6 hours. Poor dog.

MyHappyPoet · 13/07/2025 10:39

I think their behaviour leaving a dog on its own for so long amounts to cruelty and they should be reported IMHO. You, on the other hand, are an absolute saint and since you don't have a dog of your own, obviously don't know the drill when it comes to dog ownership. You will get your reward in heaven!

Livpool · 13/07/2025 10:42

They are CFs but I can’t believe you agreed to it in the first place!

vintagedog · 13/07/2025 10:43

Jennyathemall · 13/07/2025 09:59

Why are you obsessing with “what you may have done wrong” instead of “what cheeky ungrateful arseholes” they are?
Honestly some people are such doormats it’s difficult to sympathise sometimes.

I agree. And just go over and talk to them, tell them a thank you is only common courtesy.

Onelifeonly · 13/07/2025 10:50

I think I'd steel myself to ask them about the trip and check that everything was OK with the dog. At least then you are not passively ignoring the lack of thanks and can set boundaries for the future. If you don't want to do it again (I presume not) say it was more of a tie than you'd expected and you won't be able to help next time. Or if they have an amazingly convincing reason why they haven't said or done anything as yet (unlikely), you at least get closure.

the80sweregreat · 13/07/2025 11:03

Send them links to the local kennels in your area along with a price list and suggest they use one of those that next time.
They are so cheeky it’s unreal and rude

PeanutsLunadexter · 13/07/2025 11:09

My friend and her son just looked after my 2 cats popping in twice daily, As soon as we we got in (we were at a wedding) we had brought a thank you card, larger for her son and bottle of wine for her. What a pair of P Takers your neighbors are! Don't do them any favors again.

NewbieYou · 13/07/2025 11:12

They left the dog for an entire week with a stranger just popping in each day? wtf poor dog

zingally · 13/07/2025 11:20

Cheeky fuckers! They should have been at your door within 20 minutes of getting home, with a fairly substantial gift to say thanks.

To give nothing, and say nothing, is ultimate fuckery.

But at least you won't have to look after the door again!

DragonTrainor · 13/07/2025 11:23

Not odd, rude and ungrateful

If I'd have seen them I'd have been tempted to go over to make a point. Hope you had a good holiday and found everything nice and clean when you got back as I did clean up after looking after your dog.

DragonTrainor · 13/07/2025 11:24

viques · 12/07/2025 19:08

You could always put a note through their door OP and gushingly thank them for the “amazing bouquet of flowers and box of wine” that have just been “delivered”.

“ There wasn’t a card, but I know it was from you because I haven’t done any huge favours for anyone else recently. Thank you so much, I really appreciate it, I know it was doing you a favour - and saving you money on kennel fees - but surely that’s what being a good neighbour is all about isn’t it? Thanks again for the generous gift “

Then tomorrow put another note through the door. “ Oh dear, you must think I am an absolute loon, turns out the wine and flowers were from my friend. “

And watch them squirm.

Do this OP 😆

Lotsofsnacks · 13/07/2025 11:28

IMissSparkling · 12/07/2025 18:23

I think it was odder to agree to do it in the first place!

This! I would find it v odd your neighbours would entrust their precious dog with a random they don’t know! I find it v v odd that you agreed to
do this, knowing this fact!! Being a good neighbour isnt looking after someone’s dog for a week op and all the responsibility that comes with it, they are CFs and taken you for a mug

orangedream · 13/07/2025 11:42

They are shocking users who are avoiding you until you've gotten the message that there will be no gift or payment for your time. They'll warm up again towards you before their next break away.

Branleuse · 13/07/2025 11:49

I wouldnt let them get away with blanking me. They havent even said thankyou??

"Hey Joan/Roy, is there some sort of problem?

I think since you have done them such a massive favour and they are now being so rude, at least you know that theyre a couple of CFs and they are not people to befriend.

Whatareyoutalkingaboutnow · 13/07/2025 12:00

You are too kind. You've saved them a lot of money, and they didn't even thank you.
Lesson learnt.
If they ever ask you for any sort of favour again, tell them your hourly rate, payable up front. Cash only. Cheeky fuckers.

Cherrysoup · 13/07/2025 12:13

Blimey, extreme CFs!

My bil just dropped his puppy off with us en route to the airport, we have 2 of the same breed so not much bother for us, but they were telling us all the stuff they’d buy for us whilst away, which they do anyway! I told them not to buy anything and to enjoy their holiday, it’s not a major task for us, but for a dog free person, it’s massive. They’re awful people for leaving the dog home alone bar your visits. We plan kennel fees into the holiday budget and pay for a top notch place.

cosietea · 13/07/2025 12:27

Awful behaviour from neighbours

Do you often struggle with assertiveness OP?

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