To feel too unattractive to bother ever dating

[Lavenderfarmcottage]

Just that really, I wonder if at 41 & with weight to lose & as a single Mum there is a point. Even after losing weight I’ll have a tummy that hangs. I can’t imagine I’d have amazing options and so why bother ? I do think looks play a huge part in dating & options. I’d be better off at this point with a vibrator, a glass of wine & a movie with Adam Demos.

Do you actually want to date and have a partner? 41 is nothing. Weight only an issue if you are grossly obese. Has anyone ever told you you are unattractive?

Me and my dangly tummy have no problems getting dates. Currently with someone with a view to marriage as well. It only stops you, if you let it. Most men really don't care or have body image issues of their own.

Don’t give up on yourself if you don’t want to date that’s your choice but if you do you should at least try it. Not everyone has issues with dating people overweight that’s your self esteem.

That's absolutely fine OP.

Dating isn't mandatory.

Whatever makes you happy is what you should choose.

Maybe unlikely to get a 21 year old hunk but plenty of 40 something men with a tummy that hangs

Me too. It was hard enough when I was 25 and skinny never mind being 41 and fat. Fuck it. Think of the money we're saving on razor blades 😃

Honestly, it won't matter. After my divorce mid 40s I felt very unlovable and was sure nobody would find me attractive. Overweight AND with a physical disability. Didn't want to meet anyone anyway for the first couple of years. Then I plucked up courage to have a go at online dating and omg, it did wonders for my self esteem. I had plenty of dates, met some very nice men and my size 20 body with c-section overhang, lumps and bumps and everything else I thought was ugly didn't seem to put them off. I'm still single but that's my own choice now, not because nobody wanted me.You have to remember, the men will likely have their own insecurities too-they probably worry that we are judging their wobbly bits or their thinning hair or whatever.

IME what men actually want is not a flat tummy, it’s confidence. Your body has got you to this stage in life. Embrace it and if a guy doesn’t want to adore you then someone else will. Rocking your body whatever stage of life you’re at is attractive. You’ve just got to find the right person for you.

I find most men in their 40's deadly boring, or physically repulsive, or both. So you ain't missing much.