Street WhatsApp CF

[Grabbystreetbint]

We have a street WhatsApp group where people on the street often offer up things they no longer need for free. It’s anything from leftover milk to jigsaws and furniture and it usually works well.

Except there’s one woman from the biggest house on the street (so not exactly struggling) who is always first in line for absolutely everything.

A big, expensive kids toy was offered recently. Someone else had already said they’d love it but she piped up saying how much her kids would adore it and the original person backed down. She’s never offered anything herself.

I suppose people are trying to declutter and avoid trips to the charity shop so it's not a huge deal, but the sheer grabbiness is getting to me. We’ve not posted anything in a while but if we do I’m really tempted to say "Not for you, Grabby" if she jumps on it. I’m also itching to intervene when it’s someone else’s item she pounces on.

YABU – It’s first come first served, keep out of it and let her get on with it

YANBU – She’s a CF and someone needs to say
something

There's a woman on my local page, her dh was gifted at least 7 million, plus a house, by his df (i know this as i know his sister and they got the same), someone was giving away a little tykes house for free, she claimed it! Couldn't believe it, so embarrassed for her, just fucking buy one, you millionaire!

I ALWAYS state, it’s not first come first served, if lots of interest I’ll pick out of a hat.

My street WhatsApp group is quite big as we live on a long road. If we're giving things away, most people say "message me if interested" to keep traffic down on the main group. Put that at the end of your post and tell Grabby it's already gone to someone who messaged you. Even if she replies really fast just shrug and say "who knew it would be so popular? 🤷‍♂️"

There was someone on my local fb site who was taking everything that was offered for free and selling them at a car boot sale. I had loads of beautiful dresses from my kids that I could have sold myself but wanted to give away, and he turned up for them. I handed the bag over and asked how old his girls were, as I had some coats that I was going to offer, and he got really flustered and I realised something was odd. I still didn’t fully click until I was selling something and he came to collect it, and walked away without paying me. I was so confused that I may have actually said free when I was selling it, that I let him walk away and didn’t shout him back to pay.

I'd say something, but I'm not scared of confrontation. Possibly along the lines of-

Give someone else a chance now Janet, you're taking everything that's offered without giving others a turn and that's really not in the spirit of community is it?

So why didn’t you pull him up on it with the dresses, and why didn’t you contact him the second time to tell him he forgot to pay you!?

I don’t understand how anyone can be such a doormat tbh.

I offer the occasional item to members of my road’s Facebook community and fortunately, my neighbours seem pretty good about not being grabby. Mostly, I offer things on Freegle where you can just choose who you want to give your stuff to without any drama.

No, not at all, I've given away loads of stuff and think I've only given to friends the times maybe

Perhaps you could suggest that your group does this, @Grabbystreetbint?

It’s for the people giving the items to decide. In the situation you described where someone else replied first and then backed down, I’d have given it to the first person.

Our street WhatsApp works quite well for sharing very local info but occasionally we get CF requests such as “We’re going camping this weekend. Does anyone have a tent I can borrow?

I recently offered 2 second hand but decent sofas on my local Nextdoor site.
a fair bit of interest and one person wanted them and could I deliver?
Nope

The other person is foolish for backing out if they were first, and the person selling should have also stood up to the grabby person by saying they weren't first.

If you know specific neighbours then maybe ask them directly if wanting to get rid of stuff or tag them in the group chat. I normally ask a woman a few doors up if she wants anything my children have finished with as I know she has a toddler. If she doesn't then I put on the street page first but then the local freebie sites.

I would start all offers with this

READ THIS FIRST - because not all people have as much time to check the feed, rather than first come first served, names will be pulled from a hat after 24 for people to register their interest.

I wouldn't take that approach OP. However who is the group Admin? Speak to them first or just be blunt and post in the group that it's sole purpose if for people who are really struggling!

😮 CF extrodinaire!

I'm pretty sure she's not selling it but maybe that's how they afford the big house I was BU to mention.

We have a freebies page for our area on FB. If you keep taking things and don’t offer things you get booted off!

Well I didn’t pull him up about the dresses cause they were free. I hadn’t put a caveat on them saying what they could be used for. I was giving them away, and someone collected them.

With the second item, it was only a fiver and I’d put a few things on at the same time and had reduced prices to get rid of stuff, including for free. So at the moment of collection I assumed I’d incorrectly reduced it to free and that it was my mistake and so let him walk off with it.

I don’t understand how someone can get so pressed about something that doesn’t matter, tbh.

Yes, we have one of these, a grabby person who usually gets in first with a claim then sells it on. We absolutely know they do sell stuff on.

I've got some bits to get rid of I know this person will sell on so I may use the private message ruse.