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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this just another argument or should we break up?

36 replies

ThatCyanLurker · 12/07/2025 13:31

We were supposed to go strawberry picking today but just before we left, he insisted I should wear a nice dress to take photos. I said all my dresses are in the wash but I look fine in my skirt and top. He insisted i should wear a dress and offered to buy me one so we went to the shops and I tried on some dresses. The one he really liked was too long for me so i said not to get it but he said it’s fine we can get it tailored. So he bought it and then we headed to the tailors. I handed them the dress and they said they could take it up and it would cost £45. I said ok then we left and once outside the shop he had a massive go at me that I was being ripped off, it’s too expensive and I’m an idiot about finances. I said I didn’t even want the dress and what planet is he living on if he doesn’t think tailors are expensive - he’s now stormed off saying he wants to break up with me and that I’m dumb about money and ungrateful and should be more willing to haggle. I hate haggling! We had this argument before and I’m not going to change, it’s just not in my nature and I prefer to shop sales and charity shops for things that fit in the first instance! AIBU and is this something we can get past once both cooled down or should I leave him? What a waste of a day…

OP posts:
Ohnobackagain · 12/07/2025 13:56

@ThatCyanLurker he shouldn’t be veto-ing your clothes choices, never mind the rest of it. Controlling.

BusyMum47 · 12/07/2025 14:10

@ThatCyanLurker

Jesus Christ, ditch this piece of shit immediately! Your entire post reeks of him being a controlling, manipulative misogynist. Why the fuck did you agree to all that ridiculousness today?

LoudSnoringDog · 12/07/2025 14:13

Read your original post back to yourself and then remind yourself that you literally only live once. Is this how you want to live your life?

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 12/07/2025 14:13

nopineapplepizza · 12/07/2025 13:37

Missing the point maybe, but how is it quicker to:

  1. go to the shops
  2. try on various dresses
  3. purcahse a dress
  4. take it to a tailor
  5. wait for dress to be altered
than just washing one of the dresses you already own?

This scenario just doesn’t make sense to me 🤷‍♀️

Or just wear what you want and not defer to a mysogynistic idiot!

FutureCatMum · 12/07/2025 20:10

I’d leave at the point a man tries to tell me what to wear. Regardless of your updates.

TaborlinTheGreat · 12/07/2025 20:14

He sounds crazy, frankly. Your last few posts have just been back-pedalling and justifying his awful behaviour. Insisting you wear a dress to go and pick fruit Hmm is not 'doing a nice thing' for you. It's controlling and bonkers.

TaborlinTheGreat · 12/07/2025 20:15

Oh and if that's the only example of him being a controlling arse, I'll eat my hat.

Confusedmeanderings · 12/07/2025 21:29

He sounds controlling.

Shoxfordian · 12/07/2025 21:43

None of that is nice. He's manipulative and controlling. Lose a lot more useless weight very quickly by dumping him

ELS20 · 12/07/2025 23:55

What did I just read?! OP he sounds completely unhinged. I would run a mile.Firstly it’s weird he was so insistent about you wearing a dress. Then to be so adamant about it that he not only takes you shopping to buy a new one and then to the tailors, especially for strawberry picking?! And then he kicks off about the cost when it was all his idea in the first place. So many things wrong here.

TappyGilmore · 13/07/2025 00:01

Very controlling. It’s bizarre to spend money on a new dress if finances are that much of an issue. And it’s bizarre to waste time going to buy one and then getting it tailored when you’ve got an outing for the day already planned.

You ask “is this just another argument?” which suggests that this sort of thing is relatively normal, or at least has happened before. In which case … yes definitely end it.

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