New to child maintenance

[BeBusyHelper]

Hi all just a quick question

just applied for CMS and I’ve just got a message saying that I will receive £212 per month for one child. The father of my child we have split apart his head of year in London non-teaching role and I believe that he gets paid more than what he does. He only has a child for one night he doesn’t pay for any expenses like school clothing or anything or things she really needs. I pay for all her activities. I believe he has no bills to pay because he lives with his mother, i.e. mortgage he does not drive. she spent one night with him on the weekend and he phones her when he feels like it. It could be weeks most of the time I see on their stories that is our party and everything so how can I go by that they are paying the right amount if he’s expenses ain’t calculate him right?

question is do you think I am getting enough money for my daughter per month?

This is about about average for 1 child

even if he doesn’t contribute to anything, and he’s been in that role for so many years now I don’t get an income me because I’m a part-time in university. he goes on a holidays all the time so it’s not think about taking his daughter on holiday. My question is it’s quite high up in school education and he’s been doing the job for many years now and plus he works in London so it should be London wage where I’ve looked online as roughly 36K and a year so is £212 a month justifying that wage. could he be telling CMS that he has a more than what he actually does?

They don't take into account his outgoings or weather he has a car. They also don't take onto account any activities you choose to send dc to. Maintenance is just that to help with the essentials of the child. You also can't make him have more communication than he wants. I believe some people only get like £5 a week. Luckily my ex paids a decent amount but that's not always been the way

They don't take into account his outgoings or weather he has a car. They also don't take onto account any activities you choose to send dc to. Maintenance is just that to help with the essentials of the child. You also can't make him have more communication than he wants. I believe some people only get like £5 a week. Luckily my ex paids a decent amount but that's not always been the way

CMS get his average income from tax record

Do you not know roughly what he was earning? If so you can use the CMS online calculator. I'd say that's a little on the low side for a HoY salary London waiting too. The stuff about his bills etc are irrelevant for the purposes of CMS, unfair as that may be. It's purely on salary and nights spent with each parent. Get used to the fact that you will be spending a far greater proportion of your salary on the child than he will.

Could he have another child as that would make a difference

It’s also after pension too, he could be putting a lot into his pension which has lowered how much he has to give

It’s just frustrating that £212 is actually I asked him for more money but rather go out and play football and go clubbing instead so basically he has a Saturday night and Sunday but He leaves her at home while he goes out and plays football on Sunday. So he just has her on the weekend, but he’s not really there with her. He’s always out. He’ll put her to bed and then he’s gone out and leaves her with his mother. The plus side that he only lives 4 miles away and he wouldn’t even pick up his daughter from school or take her to school he doesn’t wanna during the week because it will affect his life.

Only child

It will be correct if he works in a school, no way to hide his income like some self employed people and they’ll have checked his payslips etc. it does sound about right although I agree it’s pitiful. Remember they can pay less by paying more into their pension (my ex did this) so it could be that but it’s perfectly legal although should be banned IMO if it’s obvious they only started doing this when a CMS claim was made.

Ask politely how much he earns and he really said it’s none of your concern. I’ve looked online for head of year non-teaching role in London London and it’s saying roughly around about 32 to 36 year. So basically at the very start when my child was in nursery, we used to split the bill so he used to pay £500. I used to pay £500 plus he used to give me £200 on top for child maintenance now he only gives me £200 a month because obviously the child is not a nursery and does not need nursery care anymore so my point is if he could pay me £700 a month when the child is in nursery how can you only pay me £200 a month now?

He is in a Head of Year pastoral role - not teaching, that is the key difference. Out of London, those roles are about 25k so I can believe it is no more than 36k in London.

CMS have calculated my ex husband should pay £29.30 for our 2 children a month. He is a builder earning £600+ a week but it’s obviously not going through the books. I’m on collect and pay and they still haven’t managed to get the £29.30 5 years later!

Because the nursery payment was extra believe it or not, and not obligatory. If the child isn't in nursery then that coat has gone.

Do you work around university?

If he is teaching full time then he won’t be able to take her school unless you mean take her to wrap around care.

It seems odd that someone who has chosen a job devoted to the welfare of children shows so little interest in his own child.

Honestly op the beet advice I can give you is to make your peace with it. I've had this for ten years. If I ring fenced the CMS calculation of my salary and only spent that on the kids they'd have no hobbies, no outings, no laptops for school, no pocket money etc. I'd have a great life though. Eventually your child will come to realise how things stand. Mine are mid teens now and don't say much but they know the score with their dad and where his priorities are.

I think the same thing every day

Do you earn anything yourself?

But he can take days off to go to weddings, ect book week off just go on holiday with the boys. But not able to take her to school and pick her up.or when she stays there he go out doesn’t come back till the morning. Leaving her with his mum. He can do a lot more if he wants too but chooses not too.

He more interested in his pupils than his child

It sounds about right to be honest. It doesn’t matter what his outgoings are

Like others have said it’s shit but there’s nothing you can do except make your peace with it.

The calculation sounds about right, it doesn’t sound like he’s on teachers terms and conditions if he’s able to take leave, and support staff salary is generally lower. He presumably works term time only so can you try to get him to have DC more in the holidays?

Not in any school I ever worked in can you have a day off for weddings and accompanying a school trip is not time off. It's a totally different thing. Don't disappear down a rabbit hole on this. He's fundamentally not interested and you can't make him be. It's really sad but there it is. Make your relationship with your dd amazing, try and give her access to experiences and other good males, uncles, granddads if possible and ignore him as much as possible.