I don't want to get unwell

[Idontwanttogetunwell]

I had a planned lunch yesterday with two friends, one of whom travelled quite a distance to join the lunch. The local friend turned up with a virus. Sore throat, headache, aching all over etc. Her reason for not cancelling was that the other friend would have had to cancel her train and not get a refund. Well, she clearly wouldn't as she could still have come and had lunch with me! I'm just so pissed off as I am going to Florida next week and I do not want to be ill with a virus. I know I could pass anyone in the street and catch something and I am not germ phobic usually but I just think it is inconsiderate to meet up with friends when you are clearly feeling very unwell. AIBU?

I agree. But most people don't care.
With this nice weather sit outside as you're far less likey to catch it and wash hands a lot.
First defence nasal sprays can be helpful too

Oh gosh, I had exactly this on holiday a couple of weeks ago. Guy sitting on the plane was coughing his guts up and I really, really wish I had asked to be moved. Selfish dick wasn’t even wearing a mask.
Really, REALLY hope you don’t get it and that you have a fantastic, healthy holiday!

Meant to say that he was sitting right beside me.

I agree. Get yourself a bottle of echinacea tincture and take that 3 times a day plus high dose vit c and zinc. You might stave it off. I hate it when people do that.

I

DH went on a night out the week before Christmas last year. His brother’s friend had been off work with a virus, still went out and shared a taxi.
We were all ill over Christmas and I’m asthmatic too. Took ages to shake off.
Really unfair of your friend to do this. Hope you stay healthy.
Great tip from @lurchermummy might do that this winter.

No you are not BU. I have a general thing where friends know I'd rather they cancel than come if ill. Especially if its sitting in confined space without air.

But I take an immune suppressant.

So, what you need to do is go and but some First Defence nasal spray. And also take some zinc which will boost your immune system. And vitamin c. You can get those in Berocca format I.e. effervescent tablets. The sambucol liquid is also very good as full of zinc. Also take some vitamin D. I take the vitamin D and K2 spray. Make sure you try and get enough sleep too.

Avoid alcohol. If you do actually get ill though a tiny bit of alcohol can make you feel better. Essentially alcohol dampens the immune response - the immune response against the virus is what make you feel rotten, the killing of the virus. It goes to all out war. That's why getting the immune system boosted before the virus takes over is key.

All off that genuinely works - despite being on an immune suppressant I rarely get ill. Except for a shitty thing like covid now and then.

Ooh yes echinichea tincture is the bollocks too.

I hope you don't get unwell and have a great holiday.
However I don't remember people cancelling trips and days out for colds ir other non incapacitating viruses back in the 80s and 90s. This seems to be a more recent thing. People were more keep calm and crack on.

I absolutely detest this. If I'm ill I stay at home as a matter of course unless it's unavoidable and I definitely wouldn't meet up with friends or family as that's just so inconsiderate.

Your friend is selfish OP.

People were thick when it came to lurgies in the 80s. Like they were thick to not wear a seatbelt.

It's common sense to not spread a virus if you can help it.

I know plenty of people who did exactly that in the 80s and 90s. It was quite normal in our circles not to inflict illnesses on each other!

In the 80s and 90s we stayed home if we were sick, to be considerate.

Sure, but given that she didn’t cancel, you surely had the option of leaving as soon as you saw she was visibly ill? Sure, it’s a pity not to have lunch with the friend who travelled, but it was your choice to stay and risk catching whatever she had just before your holiday.

I notice this so much on here, people saying ‘AIBU to think X shouldn’t have done Y?’ The answer is nearly always ‘No, they shouldn’t’, but it’s not possible to change other people’s behaviour, only your own.

Oh yes exactly. It's all since the covid paranoia. I once had a partner who had very severe flu, and I looked after him and was in close proximity, to him all the time, and I didn't get it.

Ive had flu before and no idea where I got it from and I could just have passed somebody in the street or on a tube.

I do wish the covid nonsense would end where it's totally socially unacceptable to cough. It's just a cough life goes on. People generally can't lock themselves up in the house and quarantine for minor illnesses.

I am like you. It's interesting to read how people used to go this even as far back as 40 years ago. We never did. D&V - of course we stayed home. Colds? Well in a big group of friends one person was always bound to have something so we just got on with it unless we were so unwell we couldn't move. Sure it's not nice to get a cold but it's life.

We did not have COVID in the 80s and 90s or Long Covid.

No, but we had a whole load of other stuff. Post viral fatigue syndrome? Been around forever. You can get that from flu. People didn't quarantine.

Long-term symptoms are always a risk with an infection.

@ClearStory You are correct. I stayed to be polite as I know it would have upset her if I just turned around and left. But now it has upset me that I stayed so yeh that's on me. It's just been irritating me all morning and I just wondered if I was alone in thinking she was a bit selfish. I would have understood if we were going on holiday or something else that she had paid a lot for but for lunch I think she should have cancelled. It also annoyed me that she assumed if she cancelled our other friend would not have bothered coming and would then lose her train ticket money. As if I am not good enough to meet up with if she wasn't there. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt and assume the virus is making her not think straight. I also think the hot weather is making me irritable with everyone to be honest. She isn't the only person to be on my list of people I'm pissed off with....

@Thedoorisalwaysopen In the 80s my now strapping 40 year old son had bad asthma that was triggered by the cold virus. If I knew that someone had a cold I would ask them to stay away as I knew he would end up in hospital if he caught it. Perhaps I've always just hated being around people with colds/viruses due to that.

Most likely. Your son had a particular vulnerability which made you more aware. To many of us who didn't have that in our lives, we would not have even registered it!
Have a good trip!

You're not being unreasonable.

I went for lunch with friends in Feb. Was feeling perfectly OK on the way there, during lunch I started to get a scratchy throat and raised temp. Told friends and said I should leave. They insisted I stayed. I left anyway. By next day I was desperately unwell. Ended up bed bound for near enough 2 weeks. Half of the people I had lunch with came down with it some days later. We were all really ill - one ended up in A&E! I'd also passed it to my dad who had popped to my house the morning of the lunch. He is old, overweight and he thought it was going to finish him off - he tested positive for COVID but I never did. I felt very very guilty 😬

I do understand and agree … on paper…

but I have 3 young children and if we cancelled every time someone was ill we would never do anything..

Sore throat,headache and aching all over sounds a bit more than just a sniffly cold and I wouldn't have thanked you for turning up at my house with those symptoms in the 80's or now.

@Wish44 I get that with kids. I have been to look after both grandchildren when they are unwell so their mums can work. I don't usually worry so much about germs. It's just annoyed me this time as it felt so unneccesary. Never mind, it's done now. All I can do is cross my fingers, take the vitamins and spray the first defence up my nostrils.