To just want to stay in my garden?

[JudesBiggestFan]

All my life, during the summer I’ve wanted to be out and about. Beer gardens, weekend trips to the beach (i live in the midlands), festivals, long walks in beauty spots near and far. I’ve just realised that this summer, at the age of 46, I finally can’t be arsed. I just want to go to work, take my kids to cricket matches at pretty local grounds and then sit on my ample backside in my back garden, sometimes with my feet in a paddling pool. The thought of the crowds, the expensive parking, the expensive drinks and ice creams, the slight edginess I feel in city pubs as soon as it gets warm because people can’t hold their drink…I can’t be arsed with any of it! Am I old before my time or is this a normal life stage?

@anyzee please can I have your recipe for ginger cordial 😊

I live in an area to which people flock for their summer holidays. The locals spend the summer in their back gardens.

I’m so sorry that this happened to you @ninjahamster& I very much empathise. (I can easily, and happily, go a week without leaving my house, like you I rely on medical appointments to force me out.)
I hope you’re able to take gentle steps to move forward, with time and support.
Best wishes 🌺

You made me laugh.

I'm near Bavarian beer gardens atm, massive chestnut trees, pretzels and somerhing called Radler/'cyclist', half beer half lemonade. They're worth leaving home for. Only just.

I have been like this most of my life, since childhood. More so now in my 40s.

Thank you. I keep having episodes of psychosis and being sectioned so it’s all quite shit.

I think you are being totally reasonable. The UK is overcrowded, thats a fact. It just feels worse in the heat. We’ve just come back from the Med (hotter temps than here) and it was so nice to walk around a popular tourist town that felt so empty to us! Seating everywhere, choice of so many restaurants to sit in and have a drink and nothing felt crowded. We went on a tourist trip, told to turn up 15 mins before to get tickets and my instant thought was that there won’t be space. We get so used to having to book everything here and everything being packed/sold out.

If you go to any UK beach resort on a hot day, everything is crowded, queues down the road to get an ice cream, everything costs a fortune. Ofcourse we will do lots of days out with our kids this Summer, but I much prefer the Autumn when its alot calmer. I was having this conversation with a colleague today and she said exactly the same. We both said we wish the October half-term was longer as we enjoy it more than the long Summer holiday.

Love the heat abroad (so im not someone who hates the sun), I’d just say the UK is more suited to cooler weather! So enjoy your garden - there is no rule that says you have to be out on a hot day! Alot of people out will be out because they dont have a garden (I appreciate im lucky) to have a nice one, although we have worked very hard for it.

I’m 39 but I feel this OP, this is my plan for this scorching hot weekend ahead! Sounds good to me 😊

I’m 39 but I feel this OP, this is my plan for this scorching hot weekend ahead! Sounds good to me 😊

Yanbu at all girl! Enjoy x

Well I’m in my 30’s now and felt like that since I was about 25 😂 I had a very colourful life before then so I don’t feel like I’m missing out. Enjoy the simple life!

45 and completely in agreement, OP.

I think I've been that way my entire adult life (and maybe before that)! I may not live to my 60s or whenever it's 'acceptable' to be a homebody, so I'm doing it now.

YANBU, relaxing in the garden in good summer weather is bliss! I'm all geared up to do just this tomorrow. I've charged my Kindle and put drinks in the fridge to chill. Can't wait

This Exactly! I can usually do it cheaper and nicer myself and have a comfier seat!

Late 40s and never feel like this!

I love being out, getting dressed up, seeing friends, going to new places... I hate a weekend with no plans. Sorry, for me, the thought of staying in my house or garden all weekend is awful 😬

Wow, no YANBU I’m 37, husbands and & year old live nothing more than days in the garden in the summer!
We are very lucky to have a very big garden with lots of palm trees and tropical plants so it feels like I’m abroad!
DS has a Tree rope swing which he literally spends all day swinging on, trampoline and pool.

Summer Garden days are bliss, chilled no queues or people and you enjoy family fun time in the comfort of your own home! Enjoy 😁

I live in a flat with a shared garden but that is quite hot, anyway I have taken to running a cool bath in the mid day heat and just lying there with the radio on, it's bliss.

Honestly I've felt like this since;

• Cost of living made everything too expensive to do / do without it being a massive effort.

• Stopping smoking, or drinking more than two glasses of wine, for health.

• The very serious and offended "vibe" generally, so you have to worry about what you're saying all the time.

Sucks the fun out of being out anywhere - honestly can't see the point, so I'm in all the time too, aged 35.

Agree, mostly and I’m 51

like @Cantabulousi feel a bit like this now, but I’m 63. At your age my kids were just starting school and I was just beginning to get my life back! I had to get out every day to enjoy the world.

I’m similarly aged to you OP and feel the same way. Like you I loved going out and about everywhere when I was younger. I can’t totally blame the pandemic because this change in what I enjoy happened before then, but since the pandemic I’ve struggled to get back to even the low level of going out that I was managing then. Part of it is the cost of living meaning it’s just so expensive to do anything these days and you really have to weigh up the cost of an outing and decide if it’s worth spending that amount of money for. And often it’s not. Even simple things like going to the cinema, before the pandemic and Truss crashing the economy the cost of a cinema ticket wasn’t really something I thought much about, now it costs a fortune.

I’ve been to the cinema once since 2020 😆 and even that was a fancy cinema where they bring you meals and drinks and we picked a day when it was empty so service was amazing. But we still choose home to watch films 99.9% of the time.

It’s so true that eating out has gone so downhill! The middle range pubs and restaurants have got so bad for us we only eat occasionally so we can choose a nice place.

Festivals now look like hell 😭😅 I was fun when young!

I used to be out every weekend and sometimes would go out for a couple of drinks in the week but that was ages ago, think back to the days when we had pubs and the only way to see the latest films was to go to the cinema. These days I hate the noise,the crowds, the slight undercurrent of hostiity and violence in the city centre. All the pubs close to my home have closed down now, one is a dodgy car wash with crack smokers round the b back, the others are boarded up and the whole area feels unsafe. Then there is the cost of things, I am going out tomorrow with friends for a meal, it is a resturant that we all like but have not been to for about a year. I had an online browse of the menu and the prices have increased by around 50% since we last went. Factor in drinks and the cost of an Uber home and it is no wonder I hardly go out anymore. Can't use my tiny but quite nice back yard, with its small patio, solar lights and tubs because my neighours are in all the time and shout and yell most of the time. I am generally happy enough at home as I lcve listening to music, reading, writing and drawing. If only I had some peace and quiet.

So sorry to read that, it must be very challenging . I just hope that you are being treated with respect and kindness and that it is helping you X