So confused!

[Butterfly1728]

I was under the impression that my husband wanted to move to another town after saying he’s had enough of living in one town all his life….
i live with him in his house with his 2 adult kids (30 and 27). The plan was to move out in 1.5 years once the mortgage was up for renewal and the kids were going to move out. We started looking at towns that we thought we like to look in and changing bits in the house in order to help sell it.
BUT, his best mate has just told me that my husband doesn’t want to move out! Brilliant.
His best mate (who is a good friend to us both) has asked me not to say anything to my husband as he’s moving for me but I feel I must…or should I not??

Of course, I don’t want to move if my husband doesn’t want to but I’m gutted and deflated and in truth a bit upset that he hasn’t said anything to me.

So…here lies the problem. I’m happy to stay here if we make some (very needed) updates to the house and I’m sure he’d agree with it. The problem is is that I was looking forward to having our own space and I know if we continue to live here his kids will see no reason to move out.

So, am I being unreasonable to ask for a compromise of staying here but the kids need to go after a certain age?

I want to be fair to all but I have to consider what I want too.

Have his children ever mentioned wanting their own places? I left home at 16 so can't imagine living with a parent at those ages.

No, I think they’d be happy to stay.

I’d be addressing this before anything else

I think that you have to discuss the future. Do you know if you will be allowed to live in the house if he died? Don't assume that you'll always have the health and energy levels that you do now.

I feel helpless. My DH gives them a time limit to move out (he said by 30, which he decided before he even met me) which definitely isn’t happening for the eldest and then he moved the goalposts to suggest that they move when we do and he’ll give them a deposit out of the house sale. So if he doesn’t want to move, there’s no incentive for them to go either.

Your question was 'should I say anything ', it's strange that you wouldn't and aren't having conversations around your whole living situation.

I am going to talk to him about it, how can I not now I know he doesn’t want to move 😟

I'm confused.....do YOU want to move?

I’m happy with either, the house is nice just needs updating and the area is fine.

Then you really need to talk to your husband 😂

I’m wondering if he actually doesn’t want the kids to move out.

And how would you be "addressing" this?
Forcing him to kick his children out of their home? And you wonder why step mothers get a bad name...

The kids are 30 and 27, hardly babies and it’s ok for parents/step parents to be thinking about their own future post kids.

Potentially. I’ve not suggested they move out, he said to them that they need to move out by age 30 before he even met me but he’s not sticking to it.