Cemetaries in London

[scatterinthewind]

Does anyone know of a cemetary in London where you can have an In Remembrance plaque but without placing ashes at the site? An elderly family member has died recently and we are told by Islington and Camden that plaques can only be placed if there are ashes interned and although some of the family would like this, some would like to scatter the ashes in nature (yes I know this is illegal).

Also, if anyone knows of a really beautiful cemetary in London or the outskirts which is not very overcrowed and would accept ashes from a nonresident (if we all end up agreeing on this) I would be really grateful for details, as the photos of the cemetary at I and C looks very overcrowded.

Thank you.

What about a scattering at a woodland cemetery and a plaque there or maybe on a bench if they had a favourite spot to sit. Sorry for your loss.

St Pancras has a woodland area and city of London has 6 acres of woodland,

Thank you - it isn't a recent loss, though we still miss them greatly, so thank you for your kind words. What we are trying to do now is reach agreement about what to do with the ashes. Many of us would like a small grave with other members of the family who have died also engraved on the headstone, with a long and extendable lease, to allow for visits through the years. A couple of people want to scatter in nature.

If the ashes are scattered it mean we cannot have a grave at Islington cemetary as they required ashes to be interned. I wondered if anyone knew of a cemetary which didn't have this requirement (in case the ashes are scattered)

Also if anyone knows of a nice, small, not uber expensive cemetary which allows non residents to have a small grave/headstone in London/outskirts I would be really grateful to know as Islinton cemetary feels very impersonal. Even more so if they allow this without internment of ashes

Sorry if that wasn't clear before! If it still isn't clear apologies again!

How about splitting the ashes and doing both? We did this with our mum’s ashes as some of the family wanted to do different things. In the end, we scattered some in a place she loved and there’s also some interred at her father’s grave. We don’t have a plaque but we think of it as a joint grave.

Our funeral directors was happy to split the ashes for us. As your loss wasn’t recent, you might still be able to find a funeral director who would do this for you.

It's illegal to scatter ashes wherever? Blimey my Mum, Dad, husband and dog are all scattered all over the place 😐

I saw someone scattering ashes on the zebra crossing at Abbey Road. Sorry, not helpful I know

Thanks so much for this, I didn't realise this might be allowed - will check with the cemetary.

i hadn't looked into this myself, and it looks like the family member meant it was illegal at the place the person wanted to scatter, that was all, so what I said was wrong!
I just googled and it is fine in many places from the look of it - on your own property, with permission from the owner if someone else owns the property, over lakes, mountains etc

What did the deceased person want?

Is this not a decision best referred to the executors of the will? I don't understand how various people can be arguing over it. What do you think the deceased would have wanted?

Not everyone leaves a will, not everyone says what they want when they are alive - in fact, being clear in a will and telling loved ones what I'd like and checking with them about what they'd like is my main takeaway from this experience! Except, it is such a difficult subject for some, some people get panicked at the idea of losing someone and don't want to talk about it.