Compliments to the chef (me!!)

[Caramelty]

I cook 6 or 7 days of the week for the family. I meal plan, batch cook, prep for dinner at 6.30am. I design healthy meals that will “work” for all family appetites and preferences, with a conscious effort to rotate individuals’ favourite foods and minimise highly processed ingredients. I make sure that meals can be reheated easily or quickly cooked when teen dd is going out or dh is delayed at work - so I’m often cooking twice per “sitting”. Or dh will suddenly arrive home so I’ll have to quickly scramble to get his meal ready two hours early than planned. I ask for ideas for the meal plan every week and invariably I’m told “dunno, you can choose.”

Today is the first day this year that anyone in my family has said “that’s was nice thank you” .

I want to be complimented more often! Is it too much to ask? I’ve had a busy day at work too, and cooking a meal when the kitchen is 31 degrees is no fun.

I just feel sad that my efforts arent appreciated. They probably all prefer chicken nuggets and pizza every day.

By the way before you all pile in … YES I take the time to be a good role model - I thank dh for taking care of the laundry and the bins or sorting out the broken tap in the bathroom. I thank dd for getting her homework done without a fuss and (rarely) tidying her room without me having to endlessly nag her.

no one ever says thank you for trawling round Tesco or minimising the food waste by a clever use of leftovers. Do they just not notice me?

Are you saying you don't get any thanks, or just not the 'that was nice' bit.

If its the former people need to learn some manners. If it's the latter it's always good to hear that extra bit of appreciation

Why haven't you picked them up on their lack of thanks beforehand? One thank you all year and we're in July?!

Nobody has said thank you for a meal you’ve cooked ONCE in 7 MONTHS? Not one single thank you in that whole time?
YANBU. Stop cooking for them.

'Thank you, that was nice', should be standard in every household.

Also, your DH and teenager should be doing their share.

Until they do, they won't recognise how difficult it can be.

I'm in the process of teaching my dc to cook so this doesn't happen to me, so far they can do spaghetti Bolognese, fajitas, enchiladas, tacos (we like Mexican) and obviously cook pizza, chips, jacket potatoes etc. They're 13 and 11

If you do it because you enjoy it that's one thing, but make sure everyone pulls their weight, especially if they're not very appreciative!

Just stop op, they don't appreciate you so stop, focus on yourself for a year and let them figure out how to cook and feed themselves.

I am exactly the same in the kitchen with the exact same skill set (creative ideas, versatile methods, thrifty and healthy) and I only ever get a thank you as a manners thing rather than compliments to the chef. This is because they would FAR rather be eating junk food than eating my actually very nice and varied cooking. ‘Processed food night’ is once a week and they much prefer it. I accept this but it’s a hard pill to swallow.

OP you are Supermum- I hope your family will realise that!

There's a fine line between 'Supermum' and skivvy sometimes.

Let them cook untill they start appreciating the effort! Yes they're lacking in manners, which you could nag and remind them about but I don't think you'll get genuine thanks until they realise at a visceral level the effort and daily grind involved!

My DH cooks 99% of our meals now. I cooked when I was on mat leave. I hate cooking. Deeply hate cooking. He enjoys it to a point, not the daily grind of it, who does? I am very, very grateful he cooks.

I always say thank you. I usually compliment it. Even on the odd occasion when some new experimental dish was awful, I still say thanks and I'm kind and reassuring because he feels bad about it not being as good as he had hoped. Me and DC meal plan with him because that's a chore by itself.

I do similar but add in a fussy toddler. I got praise from my 43 year old husband a few months ago whilst 9 months pregnant. Best meal in ages, apparently.
I'd made egg and chips 🫠

Why if your husband comes home from. Work 2 hours early are you scrambling?

Surely he can just cook the dinner for family?

We meal plan as a family before shopping is done.

The menu is stuck on the press door, whoever is available makes the dinner

Why are you being such a martyr

Why if your husband comes home from. Work 2 hours early are you scrambling?

Surely he can just cook the dinner for family?

We meal plan as a family before shopping is done.

The menu is stuck on the press door, whoever is available makes the dinner

Why are you being such a martyr

I would see it as a parenting issue too. Why isn't your DH teaching the kids to be appreciative of your hard work by setting an example and thanking you for it? My husband cooks most nights but I still thank him and I make sure my son does too, it's basic manners to thank the cook. I think you should speak to your DH about it.

See, I ask at every meal "so, how is it?" and expect a response... Usually it's positive.

One day I'll confess I binned it all in a huff after a complaint and DH took me out for dinner 😂😂😂 TBF it was a Wagamana ramen kit and it was dreadful.

I'd give them a week of basic freezer food, see if you get any comments then. Would they notice they're not getting their favourite meals or do they just regard meals as fuel?

It’s only me and DH here but we always thank each other for meals. We were both brought up to do it. Very rude of your family imo.

Test the theory- give them chicken nuggets and pizza style every day for a week, either you have cut your workload by 3/4 or compliments for your usual style of cooking will roll in- win, win.

My theory is that most people (not professional cooks) only have so many meals, food shopping trips, meal planning sessions etc in them. Once you’ve used them up you throw in the towel, get resentful and give up. My other theory is that it’s best to get the rest of the family involved now (and put up with whatever they cook) and that’ll stretch out the time till you’ve had enough and also mean when you have had enough they’ll have more of a clue….