Help

[Anxious24]

43
I’m 40 I had an abortion in November as I thought I couldn’t cope life was ruined. Had severe depression. Worst thing I’ve ever done.
Will another baby help with the pain? I have 2 children just turned 2 and 4. I hate what I’ve done to them. I was on top of the world before this. That is what I was scared of losing. I am married. My husband wanted the baby

You say you were on top of the world before this but you also say you chose to abort because you couldn’t cope, life was ruined and you had severe depression?

I don’t think you’re able to be honest with yourself about how much you were struggling when you decided to have an abortion because you’re grieving.

The grief will subside and hopefully you’ll be able to think clearly about why you made the decision you did and be kinder to yourself. Seek some therapy to help you progress through the grief and stay strong for your babies!

You haven’t done anything to them, you’ve made a really tough decision because it was in the best interests of the family unit at the time. Another baby won’t fix it, recover and get yourself back on an even keel and then you can consider whether it’s the right time to add to your family ❤️

You really need to see a therapist to process everything. Clearly you had to make the decision to end the pregnancy, because you wouldn't have coped with a 3rd child and, although your husband wanted the baby, I bet the majority of parenting falls on you. It was a decision you had to make that was right for you and the dynamics of the family. Having another baby won't change anything and your depression is the most important thing to deal with. At 40 and 2 children you seem to have the decision your family is complete. Could your husband get the snip? It would help, after going through all the post op check ups that it will have worked, to take away the possibility of falling pregnant again if you don't want a 3rd baby. You haven't done anything to your family, but need to see a therapist about the grief and depression. Your well beimg is the most important thing here and having a baby isn't the answer to any of it.🤗

You made your choice for a reason? You haven’t done anything to the children that you currently have.

Get support.

I was very happy until I saw pregnancy test. I wanted 3 children. Fell pregnant 1st time. We had no sex at all. Time before was what caused 2nd pregnancy,
we do childcare 50/50

As soon as I saw I was pregnant low mood hit and then severe depression when vomiting started

Feeling as you currently do another baby will not resolve your current issues - likely to make them worse and therefore adversely impact your existing family. You need to see a therapist first to work through and process everything , to understand the complex mix of emotions you are struggling with. Only once you have worked through these can you make a rational decision about whether to have another child or not.