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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Can I get any help now? * Historic abuse*

4 replies

GreenBird999 · 10/07/2025 05:20

I don't know what to do. I'm in the UK
My dad died in tel:2004 2004 I was 12. shortly after he died my uncle his wife and his daughter moved in with me and my mother.
I don't think I'd ever met him before, my dad didn't like him.
Anyway not long after he moved in he started touching me inappropriately in a sexual way and making comments, I was absolutely terrified I didn't know what to do. I told no one ,
Never told anyone about it.
Eventually he moved out with his family after a while, he was still very close by
I was so angry that mum let him move in with us, I actually started to hit my mum. I'm really ashamed about that, police were called about it.
I removed myself from my family years ago because I knew that a wouldn't be believed and I just wanted to move on with life

The only person from my family I have contact with now is mum
My uncle who abused me died in early tel:2024 2024 . And my estranged family were constantly trying to contact me and my mum
Posting on Facebook looking for us , a few different family members did this, also looking on local pages like selling pages ect, people were sharing it.
They are still now posting calling me and my mum disgusting for not going to his funeral and asking if anyone knows us and how to find us.
They may not know about the abuse but they know we do not want to be contacted
I never reported the sex assaults to the police but is there anything I can do to stop them doing this?

I know I cannot report him now as he has died. But I just want family members of his to leave me alone and accept that we'll never speak again.
I'm absolutely terrified that someone that recognises me will give my address or where I work
Is there anyone I can contact for help?
Sorry it's so long and rambling with bad grammar.

OP posts:
GreenBird999 · 10/07/2025 05:27

Not sure why all dates have "tel" before them. I wrote this on my notes app before posting

OP posts:
tilypu · 10/07/2025 05:46

I wouldn't tell them what he did. They aren't going to believe you, and if you tell them what he did then that will, I suspect, prolong the issue, and make them even more determined to find you.

You could look at other options, such as maybe a cease and desist letter, which is often enough to scare people into stopping what they are doing, or maybe talking to the police as what they are doing could be classed as harassment. I do wonder though if they'll get fed up of looking, and if it will blow over faster if you just do nothing.

Disclaimer: I'm not a legal expert and I'm probably not in a country with the same laws as you.

familyissues12345 · 10/07/2025 05:47

Oh bless you Sad. Have you ever contacted a DV organisation, like Woman’s aid? Hopefully they may be able to offer some support, and if not signpost you the right way?

GreenBird999 · 10/07/2025 19:16

familyissues12345 · 10/07/2025 05:47

Oh bless you Sad. Have you ever contacted a DV organisation, like Woman’s aid? Hopefully they may be able to offer some support, and if not signpost you the right way?

I haven't as I don't really know who, to contact. It was so long ago

Just want them to leave me alone and stop asking people where I live or work

OP posts:
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