Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Have you ever cheated or nearly cheated?

26 replies

Lilcrazyop · 09/07/2025 23:58

Posting here for traffic. Delete if not allowed. I’m just curious to know if any of you have ever cheated? What was the outcome? Did you regret it? Did it get discovered? Was it an affair or one night stand? Not saying I’d do this fyi

OP posts:
PopThatBench · 10/07/2025 00:02

No because I’m not a selfish dick.
In my opinion there is absolutely no excuse to make cheating okay. None.

SaintNoMountainHighEnough · 10/07/2025 00:04

I have had opportunities.... At work and with a close friend during times of vulnerability.

Shut them down when thinking of the betrayal it would be to my wife and children. Rise above it, we are human to have feelings and urges but to act on them without considering all outcomes is what separates us from animals.

Subbyhubby · 10/07/2025 00:07

I think cheating is far too romanticised in our society. It’s on all the soaps, a lot of the reality tv dramas and in a lot of movies. It’s a real shame that that is how we have chosen to focus on, but when it’s so in your face, can you blame people for wanting to be part of pop culture?
I have done so a handful of times, but having been fully open about it, DP and I have come to an arrangement that works for us. If you are thinking about it, it might be worth speaking with your partner first as you may find a lifestyle option that works for you both

FrillySocksAndDocs · 10/07/2025 00:07

No because I'm not an attention seeking whore. My husband cheated on me with the most ugly, spiteful overweight shein slag going. It almost killed me. Have some respect and don't ever do that to someone.

Original poster
Lilcrazyop · 10/07/2025 00:07

PopThatBench · 10/07/2025 00:02

No because I’m not a selfish dick.
In my opinion there is absolutely no excuse to make cheating okay. None.

That’s fair en

OP posts:
Original poster
Lilcrazyop · 10/07/2025 00:07

Lilcrazyop · 10/07/2025 00:07

That’s fair en

Show quote history

That’s fair enough. Sorry typo lol

OP posts:
ExercicenformedeZ · 10/07/2025 00:09

FrillySocksAndDocs · 10/07/2025 00:07

No because I'm not an attention seeking whore. My husband cheated on me with the most ugly, spiteful overweight shein slag going. It almost killed me. Have some respect and don't ever do that to someone.

OMG I love the expression 'Shein slag'! Sorry your husband was such a loser.

Coolpotatoface · 10/07/2025 00:10

FrillySocksAndDocs · 10/07/2025 00:07

No because I'm not an attention seeking whore. My husband cheated on me with the most ugly, spiteful overweight shein slag going. It almost killed me. Have some respect and don't ever do that to someone.

Seems your husband was the whore. I hope you left him.

Original poster
Lilcrazyop · 10/07/2025 00:11

SaintNoMountainHighEnough · 10/07/2025 00:04

I have had opportunities.... At work and with a close friend during times of vulnerability.

Shut them down when thinking of the betrayal it would be to my wife and children. Rise above it, we are human to have feelings and urges but to act on them without considering all outcomes is what separates us from animals.

Exactly. Good on you for resisting. I’m sure you were glad of putting a stop to things crossing the line. I think a lot of us have been there. It can be easily done especially in vulnerable times. Unfortunately I have cheated in the past on an ex partner. I do regret it but I can see why I acted the way I did. I just needed that comfort and support I wasn’t getting from him. It’s not the healthiest way to deal either stuff. I should have broken up with him. It’s good that you thought of the consequences before you were gonna do it then stopped yourself

OP posts:
Original poster
Lilcrazyop · 10/07/2025 00:12

FrillySocksAndDocs · 10/07/2025 00:07

No because I'm not an attention seeking whore. My husband cheated on me with the most ugly, spiteful overweight shein slag going. It almost killed me. Have some respect and don't ever do that to someone.

I’m so so sorry this has happened to you. How awful. Well he downgraded

OP posts:
Original poster
Lilcrazyop · 10/07/2025 00:14

Subbyhubby · 10/07/2025 00:07

I think cheating is far too romanticised in our society. It’s on all the soaps, a lot of the reality tv dramas and in a lot of movies. It’s a real shame that that is how we have chosen to focus on, but when it’s so in your face, can you blame people for wanting to be part of pop culture?
I have done so a handful of times, but having been fully open about it, DP and I have come to an arrangement that works for us. If you are thinking about it, it might be worth speaking with your partner first as you may find a lifestyle option that works for you both

Yes I see that a lot too. It’s very romanticised everywhere. To be honest I’d rather be in an open relationship than cheat

OP posts:
Shenmen · 10/07/2025 00:14

FrillySocksAndDocs · 10/07/2025 00:07

No because I'm not an attention seeking whore. My husband cheated on me with the most ugly, spiteful overweight shein slag going. It almost killed me. Have some respect and don't ever do that to someone.

I hope you left the cunt.

Thunderpants88 · 10/07/2025 00:16

Nope. I am not stupid enough to put myself in a vulnerable position where cheating would ever be an option.

Plus I agree with the OP above. There is NEVER an excuse for a cheat. Unhappy? Get some dignity and break off with your current partner then get with someone new.

samplesalequeen · 10/07/2025 00:18

No I’ve not. I’ve seen what affairs can do to families.

Although people are complex beings with animal urges - not that it makes it right.

i honestly don’t know where people get the energy to have more than one person to keep happy. Fuck that.

ItsFridayIminLoveJS · 10/07/2025 00:20

No! Big fat NO!..Not with a married man.. I wouldn't put another woman through what my husband did to me..
And l wouldn't cheat on any man l was with... if l felt that l wanted to... then obviously it means l don't love him.. so l wouldn't be with him.

ShakespeareInTurmoil · 10/07/2025 00:21

I’ve had the opportunity to, with very forward advances made, but no.

I don’t necessarily equate love and sex - I can see how open relationships work for some people, and how people lose control in the heat of the moment and end up cheating, but it’s not something I’ve done.

MrsEverest · 10/07/2025 00:22

No. I considered a relationship with a married man once when I was single. I left the workplace to make sure I couldn’t make that bad choice.

Since then I shut down things before it becomes an ‘opportunity’ - if it reaches that stage, you’ve already encouraged it. In every relationship there’s moment after moment after moment when you can turn away, shut it down. Reaching the point where an ‘opportunity’ is even offered would be a failure on my part to do that.

Goodbyerubytuesdat · 10/07/2025 00:23

No. Like most people, I’ve had the opportunity but I couldn’t live with myself if I crossed that line. It’s a dick move of the highest order and says everything about the person you are. I will never be that person.

Travelfairy · 10/07/2025 00:23

I didnt cheat but was with someone who lied about being separated. He was still married. When I found out I did end it but not immediately. They split shortly after, about 3 months.

He was my boss at work. I was very young but that's no excuse. Its something I used to beat myself up about and I'm not proud of it.

We were in secret anyway because of the work relationship but I just found all that sneaking around (before finding our about wife) so exciting. All those whispers, stolen glances, touches etc it was very exciting and the sex was incredible. I haven't had sex like that since only because I think it was due to where my head was at.

I'll probably get eaten alive here. I'm happily married now and wouldn't do anything like that again.

Catsandcannedbeans · 10/07/2025 00:27

Almost cheated on my ex before my DH - by almost I mean got chatted up at a bar and the thought crossed my mind and I entertained this man’s conversation for a while. Dumped him the day after, met DH a month later. Never felt the need or want to again. Now when I get chatted up I just think ew go away you’re not my husband. There were a lot of issues in my previous relationship and the thinking about cheating was kind of what made me realise how unhappy I was.

Purpleturtle45 · 10/07/2025 00:33

I cheated lots when I was younger, only really regret cheating on one boyfriend as it turns out the others were cheating on me too! Mostly came from being in long distance relationships when going travelling or working abroad and having my head turned.

Been married 15 years this month and he is the only person I have never cheated on (yet!-joke).

ClairDeLaLune · 10/07/2025 00:43

Are you a journalist looking for cheap stories? I cheated with an entire football team, AMA!

LostVagueness25 · 10/07/2025 01:25

I haven’t cheated, love my DP and he’s everything I could ever want.

BUT there was a bit of a close call a couple of years ago when I ran into an ex at a gathering (DP wasn’t there). He was clearly very keen to rekindle things and my fanny was telling me it was a great idea - the ex in question was the most fantastic shag - difficult to put into words just how mind blowing sex with him was. The chemistry was very much there, and it took all of my will power to say no. I was surprised at myself that I was even tempted because I truly love DP like no one I’ve ever loved before and in my head I suppose I thought a person would only want to cheat if there was something lacking in their relationship. Anyway, I resisted and put the ex out of my mind where he belongs but it was difficult to do. Still very happy with DP and I’m so glad I don’t have a guilty conscience.

HoskinsChoice · 10/07/2025 07:39

What's your AIBU OP? What are you going to do with this info?

Original poster
Lilcrazyop · 10/07/2025 10:04

HoskinsChoice · 10/07/2025 07:39

What's your AIBU OP? What are you going to do with this info?

I’m not going to do anything other than read the info

OP posts: