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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To share my mental birth story with you!

34 replies

twobabiesandapup · 09/07/2025 22:18

Evening all! I’m currently on day five following the birth of my lovely girl and now that the exhilaration is wearing off I’m actually feeling quite in shock of how my second delivery went down, it’s my turn on the night shift with our girl so thought I would share my story if anyone wants any light reading this evening!

So after a 24 hour labour with my 19 month old son (which was a hospital birth) which ended up being quite a traumatic birth and recovery period, this time I decided to go for a home birth after reading some lovely stories online about people’s experience. So my contractions started around 2.30am on Saturday and by 4am they were bad enough for me to ring triage and have a midwife brought out. She arrived shortly after and left at 6am saying I still had a long way to go, but then at 7.30 I realised that I’d only had a total of three minutes break from contractions over the previous half hour, and they were excruciating at that point so I called the second midwife on duty to come back.

Well… 7.45am I actually thought the contractions were going to kill me and I then got the urge to push, I’d already read that when you know you know, so I shouted my partner who was downstairs with our son, saying “the baby is on its way” to which he replied “no I don’t think it works like that you’ve got loads of time”, my next words were then “the head is coming out!!”, he ran up the stairs whilst saying “no you’re fine trust me”, before walking into the bedroom and saying, ok you’re right there is actually a head(!!!!!) he then rang the midwife who was only 5 mins away and talked him through how to guide the baby out and lay her safely down, meanwhile whilst he’s doing this I was apparently laughing maniacally saying how amazing it is that I can feel her coming out and how it’s the best moment of my life!

So… yep the shock has officially worn off and I’m now experiencing all kinds of intrusive and traumatic thoughts about how lucky we were that everything was ok! I know that babies arriving without any medical support happens often but my god I didn’t ever think that would be on the cards for me! On the plus side I’m completely in love with her and felt my heart melt when my little boy hugged her today saying “baby sister”, as he has previously only been fixated on trying to steal her milk and being annoyed that she won’t read him a book!

Just thought I’d share on here as I’m sure everyone in real life is bored of me talking about it lol, but I’m still in absolute shock, oh and I can’t wait to tell my little one all about it when she’s older!

OP posts:
Fidgety31 · 09/07/2025 22:28

This is the AIBU - maybe post on the more
appropriate pages for replies ?

Cocomelonhauntsme · 09/07/2025 22:28

Congratulations!! That does sound overwhelming but amazing. You're right, you can dine out on that story for years lol. You partner is brilliant, what a sweet reaction, 'best moment of my life' what a sweetheart!

I had a homebirth too nearly 3 months ago now for my second and loved it but that included two midwives.

You mention intrusive thoughts, obviously totally common and with hormones etc flying around and that was such a crazy thing to happen you'll be processing for a while yet, but keep an eye on them and keep talking to your partner about them to make sure they don't spiral.

But amazing birth story. I already miss the new born scrunch, snuggles and smell.

twobabiesandapup · 09/07/2025 22:37

@Cocomelonhauntsmeaw thank you so much and congratulations on your successful home birth too!

Thanks for the advice with talking about the intrusive thoughts, I think you’re absolutely right. I started to think things like what would’ve happened in the umbilical cord was around her neck or if she hadn’t have been breathing, and it sends me into a panic so I really can see how this would spiral. I’ve got a midwife over tomorrow and then the health visitor next week so I’ll just flag it with them as well to see if they have any tips! Hope you enjoy the next stage with your little one!

OP posts:
Dryshampoofordays · 09/07/2025 22:49

That happened to me too! Congratulations OP, pregnancy, birth and motherhood is amazing. How incredible is the female body! You’re a superwoman!

pushthebuttonnn · 09/07/2025 22:56

Congratulations and I'm so glad you're all okay! Imo sometimes midwives are quite dismissive of those of us who have quick labours. I've heard of so many stories where the Mum has been in a lot of pain but dilation wasn't checked. I was told over the phone to stay at home as long as I could. The car journey was agonising and I was on the floor in pain at reception- had to be taken up to mat ward in a wheelchair. Ds was born less than an hour later!

pinkstripeycat · 09/07/2025 23:04

My friends husband was told after rushing in to the hospital; not to be silly, of course the baby wasn’t on the way and to bring his wife in and to use a wheelchair IF HE MUST (laughing). He ran back outside to help his wife give birth on the back seat of their car with passing hospital visitors helping!!

twobabiesandapup · 09/07/2025 23:08

@Dryshampoofordays oh wow amazing! And yes that’s exactly what I kept thinking, what an amazing thing to be able to do this and actually feel it happening! I think because I had the epidural the first time I had no idea of how it actually felt, so to be able to experience it on two paracetamol and all its glory was unbelievable!

OP posts:
twobabiesandapup · 09/07/2025 23:12

@pushthebuttonnn oh wow what a crazy experience for you! I think you’re absolutely right, coincidentally the first midwife who came off was coming off her shift at 7am, and she very much tried to dissuade me from an internal examination, in hindsight I now wonder if it’s because she didn’t want to hang around past her shift 😂 I was thinking when she left that I was surprised as my contractions were really regular and painful by then but as I’d had an epidural the first time I didn’t have anything to compare it to so fearfully watched her walk out the door! I wish now I’d asked her to just send someone else straight away but it’s so hard to think clearly in the moment

OP posts:
twobabiesandapup · 09/07/2025 23:14

@pinkstripeycat oh my god I can’t imagine how scary that must have been for them! It’s one thing to be in that situation in the comfort of your own bedroom but a back seat of a car with strangers around is unthinkable!

OP posts:
steff13 · 09/07/2025 23:16

My grandfather delivered my mother at home in 1947 because there was a snowstorm and the doctor couldn't get there.

Comtesse · 09/07/2025 23:20

I know 3 women who essentially free birthed because the labours happened so fast - one at home, one on her SIL’s new carpet (!) and another in the car on the Fulham Road after being sent home from the hospital
for not being far enough on in labour. The female body is a wonderful thing! I bet it is scary to think about now, but your body knew just what to do Flowers

Auroraloves · 09/07/2025 23:20

Wow, wonderful story ❤️ glad you are baby are well.

Driftingawaynow · 09/07/2025 23:22

Amazing story! Congratulations on your newborn

BeachPossum · 09/07/2025 23:23

That's amazing OP! Sounds overwhelming and incredible. Glad your girl is here safe, you did brilliantly ❤️

Justlikethattherearefive · 09/07/2025 23:27

Amazing story OP. I gave birth last week and it was all a whirlwind. I spent a while in maternity assessment and overheard someone give birth there with just a couple of pushes because there was no time to go to the labour suite. It was shortly after I was told I was in labour and admitted. It honestly felt like nothing was happening for ages then just as they were preparing to send me home, pain kicked in and I was 10cm already. It's amazing what the body can do and how quickly things evolve and change. I'm in awe that you delivered baby girl at home, you're amazing. Congratulations.

PurpleFlower1983 · 09/07/2025 23:33

Aww that’s lovely! Congratulations! I had my baby at a bus stop outside the hospital after being told to stay home, it made the national papers, like you say when you know, you know! 🤣

Vitrolinsanity · 09/07/2025 23:40

Fidgety31 · 09/07/2025 22:28

This is the AIBU - maybe post on the more
appropriate pages for replies ?

Yay you. 👏🏿 slowly!

Stat positive Op, don’t let the adrenaline comedown shade a wonderful experience.

elfendom1 · 09/07/2025 23:40

that is a lovely story OP and glad it all went well.

Zenbra · 10/07/2025 00:00

Congratulations!
I had very similar happen to me, although my labour was crazily quick, about an hour and a half in total, and went from 10 minute apart contractions for the first 50 minutes to everything then happening so fast that I unexpectedly gave birth at home. When I eventually made it to the hospital (by Ambulance) for us to be checked over, I was told off by the midwife for not going in earlier! They definitely would have told me not to go in if I'd called them when I was at 10 minute intervals.
It does take a little time for it to all sink in. I remember spending the first couple of days in shock and not really able to process what had happened. Be kind to yourself

Dontlletmedownbruce · 10/07/2025 00:14

I know someone born in the back seat of a car stuck in traffic in a field at a rugby match. I also have a friend who had a baby at the top of the stairs on her way downstairs to go into hospital. My cousin had a baby in the bathroom after being sent home from hospital. The two I know personally said there was a real shock element to it that took a while to process

NImumconfused · 10/07/2025 01:56

Bathroom floor for me, second baby was so fast!

twobabiesandapup · 10/07/2025 08:52

Thank you for your lovely messages of congratulations 🥰 I think it all just hit me last night and I needed to get it all out so I really appreciate these lovely messages, and gosh it’s been so wonderful (and a bit scary) to read the stories you have shared, really makes me realise how lucky I am and the extremities of some other birthing experiences!

OP posts:
CommissarySushi · 10/07/2025 08:55

Fidgety31 · 09/07/2025 22:28

This is the AIBU - maybe post on the more
appropriate pages for replies ?

Uh oh, thread police are here 🙄

Congratulations, OP! It sounds like a really positive experience for you. I hope my next birth is like that!

IzzyHandsIsMySpiritAnimal · 10/07/2025 08:57

Comtesse · 09/07/2025 23:20

I know 3 women who essentially free birthed because the labours happened so fast - one at home, one on her SIL’s new carpet (!) and another in the car on the Fulham Road after being sent home from the hospital
for not being far enough on in labour. The female body is a wonderful thing! I bet it is scary to think about now, but your body knew just what to do Flowers

There is a woman who lives near me who was, for a time, "famous" locally because she gave birth at a bus stop on the school run route.
Needless to say, she had a LOT of trauma to unpack around that.

NImumconfused · 10/07/2025 13:46

IzzyHandsIsMySpiritAnimal · 10/07/2025 08:57

There is a woman who lives near me who was, for a time, "famous" locally because she gave birth at a bus stop on the school run route.
Needless to say, she had a LOT of trauma to unpack around that.

Somebody up thread said that happened to them - can't be that common surely?

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