MIL not get granddaughter 1st bday gift

HappyDreamer · 2025-07-09T21:03:58+00:00

Is it strange my MIL didn’t get her granddaughter a 1st birthday present even though she came to her birthday party etc? Or am I overthinking x

Snorlaxo · 09/07/2025 22:05

Did she buy a gift at Christmas last year?
What’s her financial situation like?

Hodgemollar · 09/07/2025 22:08

Some people don’t particularly think it’s necessary to buy for a baby, but it’s not necessarily common.
Surely this isn’t out of the blue? How was she at Christmas? When the baby was born?
Did she ask her son and he said the baby doesn’t mean anything?
While most people would buy I gift ultimate I think making the effort to come to the party is more important.

DustlandFairytaleBeginning · 09/07/2025 22:08

Its unusual but to be honest for the 1st birthday both sets of grandparents just transferred me some money for their bank account.

Original poster

HappyDreamer · 09/07/2025 22:09

Snorlaxo · 09/07/2025 22:05

Did she buy a gift at Christmas last year?
What’s her financial situation like?

She did get an ikea highchair for Christmas. I’m not too sure, she is about to go on her third holiday of the year though. But I know 1 year olds will get lots of toys at a 1st bday party so I am probably overthinking!

OP posts:

AnneLovesGilbert · 09/07/2025 22:09

When my DD turned one my dad gave me an avocado, in a nice gift bag. For me, not DD. Some people are just odd.

Notmycircusnotmyotter · 09/07/2025 22:09

Very odd

Lmnop22 · 09/07/2025 22:10

My exFIL has never met my 17 month old. I think you should be grateful she is a part of your daughters life and not stress about presents that won’t be remembered and are hard to judge at that age!

TravelPanic · 09/07/2025 22:11

Some older people (my MIL included) don’t like the thought of “waste” and see getting a present for a 1 year old like that as they think baby doesn’t need much.

odd though, as they could always buy books or something for when the child is a bit older or even give money for savings.

Original poster

HappyDreamer · 09/07/2025 22:12

Hodgemollar · 09/07/2025 22:08

Some people don’t particularly think it’s necessary to buy for a baby, but it’s not necessarily common.
Surely this isn’t out of the blue? How was she at Christmas? When the baby was born?
Did she ask her son and he said the baby doesn’t mean anything?
While most people would buy I gift ultimate I think making the effort to come to the party is more important.

We do live an hour away so we maybe see her once a month ish so maybe that’s why, she didn’t ask her son but in the same breath she doesn’t really need anything. She has only ever visited us once in the last year though so I’m not suprised as such

OP posts:

Original poster

HappyDreamer · 09/07/2025 22:14

Lmnop22 · 09/07/2025 22:10

My exFIL has never met my 17 month old. I think you should be grateful she is a part of your daughters life and not stress about presents that won’t be remembered and are hard to judge at that age!

No totally! She doesn’t really need anything so completely get that pov, maybe when she is older etc or needs something. It’s just different to my family I suppose but 100% she doesn’t need more toys etc and this makes sense!

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marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 09/07/2025 22:21

It’s not important to a one year old.

WFHmutha25 · 09/07/2025 22:22

Of course it's really weird. The least anyone would buy is a little outfit or a book.

alexalisten · 09/07/2025 22:24

Did she say anything to your partner that you missed lile cash/money in an account or that the highchair was a joint birthday/Christmas present

DappledThings · 09/07/2025 22:24

We forgot to get our own child a present for his first birthday. It just didnt seem important as he didn't understand the concept. I expect PIL and my parents got both DC something for every birthday including their firsts but I couldn't say for certain.

RedRec · 09/07/2025 22:28

Yes of course it is weird. Does she have form for being passive-aggressive?

NuffSaidSam · 09/07/2025 22:30

MIL probably just thinks you've got enough stuff and it's not like the baby will know. She came to the party and that is the important bit.

Ponoka7 · 09/07/2025 22:30

A lot of toddler toys start at 18 months. She's going to be that age before Christmas, so it is strange that nothing was bought, or no money transferred. It's nowhere near usual. You'd at least expect the next size up pjs.

yeesh · 09/07/2025 22:32

Really odd. Most grandparents enjoy spoiling their grandchildren.

User155 · 09/07/2025 22:51

I don’t think it’s weird. Some people just aren’t present-buying people and that’s ok.

HoppingPavlova · 07/12/2025 01:17

We didn’t even buy presents for our kids at 1yo. Complete waste as we got them anything as and when they needed and they had zero idea it was their birthday. I wouldn’t expect anyone else to.

OSTMusTisNT · 07/12/2025 01:27

That is weird, at the very least I would buy a nice outfit for the 1 year old and a nice bunch of flowers for you to mark the one year anniversary of you doing that amazing thing of birthing my Grandchild.

In reality I would have asked what the little one was needing e.g money for shoes or nice warm winter coat etc and as they are a Grandchild, money would be no issue.

Any chance she asked your DH and he muttered something like "oh, they have enough stuff" and now he's not wanting to admit it to you?