...to be hurt by my boss's comment?

[Hurtmyfeelings]

So two weeks ago I got an email from a course provider saying I'd been signed up to a course a few towns away. I don't drive, so I planned my journey on trains and buses. This is hard as I have social anxiety and hate travelling and being around people.

Turns out that my boss had signed herself and my colleague up to the course as well, and failed to mention it. I found out last week when my colleague mentioned it and said we were all going together, so I was delighted that I didn't have to get the train anymore (both boss and colleague drive).

I spoke to my colleague again today (I'm very part time so not actually around much). She said that the plan was for me and her to go in the boss's car. Great!

Then my boss approaches me today. Asks if I read the email and know where the place for the course is. I said yes. She asked how I'm getting there. I said that colleague had said we were both going in boss's car. Boss then goes "oh, well are you asking me for a lift then? Would have been nice to let me know."

I'm just sitting there very confused.

My partner says I should have checked the plans with my boss. I think that really the boss should have sorted out the transport in the first place and let us know. If more than one person goes to a course, it's standard that they group together and go in one car, so I don't think I was unreasonable to assume that one of them would be giving me a lift?!

I'm so confused. Aibu, or was my boss? I thought her comment was unnecessarily sassy.

Your boss is being an arsehole. You weren’t “asking” for a lift - you were literally told by your colleague that’s what was happening! I would have responded “Well I’m happy for the company to pay for a taxi for me instead…” and been amused at how quickly she backtracked.

It would have been polite of you to ask for a lift, or at least consult your boss after your colleague said what the arrangements were.

The friend should have checked with the boss this was okay before telling you. I would have asked myself that this was okay considering she’s the one that is being inconvenienced. Not the bosses job to arrange transport for you. Unless it states in your contract that transport is arranged for courses then you’re being unreasonable. You should have spoken to the boss yourself or spoken up.

Your boss is the one losing out by having to drive everyone so it would have been polite to check in with them. If you don’t drive then you don’t get it.

Your boss was unreasonable in the first place. She signed you up for a course some distance away. She should have immediately told you when booking “this course is in Town A, you will need to sort your own transport but mileage will be reimbursed” or “this course is Town A, but there are three of us going and we can carpool.” This is obviously the conversation she has attempted to initiate now, but it’s two weeks since the email was received so of course in that two weeks there have been other conversations had and plans made. She should have done it immediately.

After your colleague mentioned going in boss’s car, yes it would have been wise for you to check with boss rather than taking colleague’s word for it. But she didn’t need to be rude about it (unless the comment was intended in a jokey way).

I think once you saw you were booked onto the course you should have spoken to your boss about transport. You could have then explained how complicated it would be to get there, plus also to ask whether you would be reimbursed for the transport costs. This would have opened up the dialogue of hopefully the boss saying that they were also booked on along with your colleague and that they would drive and claim and expenses for petrol money.

I think you have taken the word of a colleague that the boss was giving you all a lift which is a reasonable thought, but in reality you should have made sure you heard this from them and not the colleague.

You should have had a conversation directly with your boss.

That will get OP nowhere and risk causing problems in the future. It's not great to make sarcastic comments or belittle your boss. It never ends well.
Just suck it up OP. Say sorry you didn't ask and are grateful for the lift. Don't overthink the sharp reply. Just put it behind you.

"Would have been nice to let me know."

Did you repeat that back to your boss about signing you up for the course without even telling you?

It's extremely poor form on her part that what should have been your official confirmation from the course provider was actually the first you had heard of it.

Of course it's up to your workplace to arrange or facilitate (and pay for) your travel plans to what is basically a work task that they want you to do as part of your job. You were no more 'cheeky' in asking about transport for this than you would be asking about a work-supplied laptop or phone if your job relied on devices.

I wouldn't condone being sassy back, but I don't see any need to be apologetic or grateful.

It's perfectly possible to be polite and business-like in asking what the company's travel plans are for you attending the course that they want you on - and also to ask that you be informed ahead of time next time they require you to attend a course, so that it doesn't come as a surprise when the provider contacts you.

Oh to be clear, I wasn’t suggesting that’s what OP should have said - just that it’s what I would have said! 😂 luckily for me I’ve had very good bosses for the past 10+ years so haven’t had to use my sass in the workplace for a long time.

Its odd that the boss never mentioned the course before applying for it or even telling you about it once it was approved.

At my company, we can claim travel expenses back after courses. It would never occur to me to rely on colleagues, let alone my boss to transport me in their own car like a taxi driver! This reminds my of 1 mum picking all the neighbourhood kids up for a sports thing. Not what I'd expect from adults in professional roles to need nor rely on!

What did your colleague say about the whole situation after you spoke to the boss?

I agree with your DP. I would have had a brief chat or email with Boss to ask if they wee OK to give you a life as colleague had mentioned it. Definitely wouldn't have assumed or expected the Boss to sort my transport.

Not even if you were told by other colleague that you were all going in the boss's car? I dont think OP didn't anything wrong here

I wouldn’t have assumed a lift even if your colleague had said so. I’m incredibly shy at work but even in this instance I’d have asked my boss directly if it was ok to have a lift.