Teacher unfair to dd(9)

[foreverand]

Dd (9) is well behaved at school and preforming above targets. Quietly gets on with everything and never complains so is often forgotten about at school.

This year in particular she has been repeatedly used often under the guise of her being so kind and helpful to her expense.
Child who chats too much in lessons, gets moved next to dd. Bully who now doesn’t have any friends, put in dds group. Child who doesn’t do any work, gets paired with dd for partner project so she does it all on her own. Bullied child, dd gets taken off to play with them. Child sat on friendship bench, gets pointed out to dd. New child gets paired with dd then 3 months later new child who doesn’t speak English fluently again gets paired with dd who has to help translate for them while trying doing her own work. Need volunteers to stay in at break and help tidy/set up, ask dd. Someone has to have the old scribbled on book because they didn’t have enough new ones, give it to dd. You get the picture…

She was recently appointed cloakroom monitor, a role that she didn’t want or ask for.

Today a couple of known naughty kids were messing around in the cloakroom, going through someone else’s bag. They were being loud and nasty so dd pretended not to look at them. Another kid saw and told the teacher. Teacher asked dd if anything happened and she lied and said no.

She’s now got to miss 15 minutes of golden time friday along with the kids who actually did the messing around. She got a big speech from her teacher about how disappointed she is in her and how she expected better from her, the naughty kids no doubt didn’t get this speech.

Only time she’s ever been given a punishment through school and she’s completely devastated.

Obviously she’s shouldn’t have lied but being appointed class snitch is hard for an 9 year old.

I’m not being unreasonable to think this is absolutely unfair and her teacher is again taking advantage of her, am I? Surely never before causing any issue should count for something and she’s deserves a bit of understanding ?

I don’t want to to send her in Friday but dd wouldn’t want to do that but I can’t wait for this year to be over.

The point is the teacher knows you are unhappy and that she was unfair. Speak to the teacher and possibly send a follow up email to the headteacher and state you hope it will be a fresh start in September without the same issues.

You need to speak yo for your daughter and not be in the mindset of what's the point.

Yeah this. If you've never told the teacher or raised it, they might not have realised. Still not too late to speak up

I have a dd like yours. Always got put next to the challenging children and it was their parents, not the school, who told me how my dd had helped their dcs. She never got a word of recognition. I wish I had said something something so you go for it Op!

I think your daughters punishment is a bit unreasonable. However quite a few of the things you mention such as helping in the classroom and being a new child's buddy are highly prized roles by primary aged children. Has she actually said she hates doing all these things ?

YANBU! I was this kid in class. I even remember at time knowing I was being used to make the teachers job easier.

Say something as it’s a burden to carry around.

To hopefully stop it happening next year - don't wait until it starts again to complain. Your dd will already be flagged as the child to use in this way, so the sooner you say something and advocate for her, the better.

Was she supposed to snitch??

I dont see a problem with the jobs but if she was supposed to be a snitch that's ridiculous.

I say this as a teacher. I would actively be discouraging snitching but it sounds like she was supposed to snitch and she's disappointed she wouldn't.

Even I would complain! What's the punishment for??? You can't punish a child for not being a snitch.

There is a bit of this. When my 'people pleaser' daughter finally stepped out of line and got into trouble, she then realised that it wasn't that bad and stopped pushing herself so hard to always be perfect. Honestly, her year 3 teacher must have thought I was mad - she asked to speak to me to raise a concern and I definitely smiled and maybe a small laugh, I was just glad she had relaxed a bit. I did apologise though and explain that I was so pleased she was now enjoying schol rather than trying to fit what was expected but I would definitely have a 'serious chat' with her about what she had done.

As frustrating as this is OP, you may end up finding long term that this was the best thing that could have hapenned.

I would complain to the teacher and say you are disappointed in her treatment of your DD over the past year. It sounds so stressful 😥.

I'm simply saying you might repeatedly choose a child for these things because you think they're kind, compassionate, helpful and nice children. You might feel you can rely on them to help support a bullied child or a child who can't speak English.

But we're talking about young kids here.

Surely the teacher shouldn't regularly be relying on any one child for anything?

As for the parents not saying anything-what if the kid says nothing because they just think they have to do as they are told at school & there's no point?