Paranoid that everyone thinks I'm a lazy waste of space

[Crispsunprimeday]

I know this probably sounds quite pathetic when there are people out there with actual problems but I like to vent on here.

For background I live in the UK (like most on here I think) where you need to be at least 16 to get a job, I had a child just after my 16th birthday and couldn't get a job till they started school. So I basically didn't have a job until I was about 20/21 before that I pretty much had people even complete strangers tell me I was lazy and a waste of space almost every day. This didn't seem to bother me at the time but now I'm thinking it subconsciously did, I became a workalolic and I'm not exaggerating when I say paranoia about what people thought of me was just as important as the pay.

Anyway now I'm pregnant with my second child and on maternity leave I'm also really tired and have been sleeping a lot in the day, I can't shake the irrational fear that everyone around me thinks I'm lazy and an oxygen thief. Has anyone had a similar experience? Yes I know this sounds whiny 😫

Those that care don’t matter, those that matter don’t care.

Only listen to people who love you, random strangers can fuck off.

You might benefit from some therapy to address your low self esteem issues.

You’ve overcome some massive hurdles, well done you!

Be kind to yourself. You know what was going on for you at different times in your life, and as an adult you only have yourself (and maybe your children!) to answer to. Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks! But I know it can be hard to set the anxiety aside - agree some therapy would probably help, if you can.

You know what they say, opinions are like arseholes.

What people think and say tends to have very little to do with whatever is actually going on in your life in the real world. It's all about them and their own issues. The vast, vast majority of the time it's best to ignore them.

Thank you for your kind words everyone x

I don't understand how people were telling you you were a lazy waste of space almost every day. That to me sounds more like someone was bullying you regularly. I don't think anyone would think a woman minding a child full time is lazy. Whoever it was they really got into your head. Well they were wrong so fuck them, enjoy every minute of your well deserved maternity leave.

You sound like someone who will go far in life.

You're driven. Even if you're tired right now. Not surprising.

All power to you. Ignore the negative. Focus on the positive.

Thank you x back when I was 19/20 people used to say "you've never even worked a single day in your life" which was true and made me sound extremely lazy. At the time it felt like most people I interacted with thought I was a lazy waste of space

Use the time to build a future.
I know a few women who had children as teenagers, they used the 5 years to study while raising the child in the early years, now all have teenagers and professional jobs, best of both worlds.
There are many who didn't use this time, who are still low earners,with expensive teenagers.
You have choices.

It is good you have a job.
Bump your benefits and self esteem.
People will think you are a sponge expecting the state to fully support you and your children.

A lot of people are complete aresoles. I’ve experienced people’s unfair judgement recently (it’s why I have the username I have). I’m starting to realise it’s the people who think it’s their right to tell you their nasty opinions that deserve judgement. I mean, they aren’t very nice are they? I bet you wouldn’t say nasty things to somebody, and neither would I. They are bullies.

You just keep on doing what you are doing, your life is none of their business.