I guess it depends on the cause of your hurt and unhappiness. I’ve had a run of horrendous life events, the most important being the loss of my son to cancer aged 18. Quickly followed by my mum to cancer and then my Dad to dementia. It’s taken a long time to accept these to I have happened. I decided first to retire at 57 (gave myself 2 years to prepare for that) so that I could finally take care of myself 10 years after my son died. In the interim time it was a case of getting through the hard days and trying to allow myself the calm and/enjoyment of the better days.
i have taken solace in my garden - growing vegetables. Funnily I’m not so interested in eating them (although we do) but the process of nurturing and growing from seeds is cathartic to me.
I have tried to help my surviving son but it has taken a long time to realise and accept that to help him I have to help myself.
i have (last year) found that I love to do watercolour painting. As someone not creative this has come as a huge surprise and I can spend hours (able to due to retirement) alone painting. It has been the most fantastic therapy for me. It stills my mind and, if I’m lucky, I can create something I’m proud of.
my advice would be to find something that you can immerse yourself in. Distraction is a fantastic way to calm the mind and if/ when you find the right thing can bring unexpected pleasure.
it took me years to allow myself this though and I’m fortunate to be able to devote the time to my new hobby..
I do also take joy in the small things - birds singing, beautiful scenery, coffee in the garden in the sun, sitting under the stars at night. The love of partner, family and friends help but I had to help myself first.