Not to feel deep contentment

[Downplayit]

I remember being young (anything pre-kids probably) and just getting that very deep sense of contentment that all was right in my world and I was exactly where I wanted to be. Usually at the end of a lovely day. It's a beautiful feeling but I realise that I never experience it anymore. My life and family relationships are relatively happy - same stresses and strains as most people - we do nice things, we go on great holidays but that feeling doesn't come. I am a little uptight, (the result of juggling and mental load!) so I wonder if this is the reason or if it's just growing older and constantly having worries and niggles. So AIBU to not feel this way anymore and when did you last get that sense of absolute contentment?

I have this! The closest I get to it is after a lovely day out, when I've had loads of physical activity and seen something natural and beautiful. But I know exactly what you mean and it makes me sad sometimes, when I also know I have a lot to be grateful for.
I think the constant mental load and niggly things on your mind really detect from the simplicity of feeling contentment in the moment. (And feeling sad about the state of the world more broadly.) I don't know what the answer is!

I get snatches of it occasionally. Blue skies, sun on the back of my neck. Nice restaurant, lovely food in front of me. But it's only when I can completely relax. There's always so much going on and so many demands on one's time.

It sounds like the stresses of life, kids etc have just taken their toll on you.

Try sitting down and thinking about what you could do to ease some stress, mental load etc in your life.

It could be anything from hiring a cleaner, starting a meal order service, booking your kids into breakfast/after school club so you have a bit more time during the day.

Make time for the little joys or luxuries in life. Getting up extra early and going for a solo walk, treating yourself to a piece of food or drink you love once a week, scented candles, that nice bubble bath. Treat yourself as the main character in your story and remember how important you are.

Also I forgot to write on my previous post that writing things down, having lists and calendars are great for freeing up plans and important things that would otherwise be buzzing round in your head.

The more you write down the clearer your mind is.

I feel like I have life under control. I'm good at organising stuff but maybe a bit too much to really ever be able to let go and be in the moment. It's nice to know it's not just me although I hope it is just a phase of life. Maybe when kids and jobs aren't quite so mind consuming it comes back. We can hope!

Make sure you set times aside specifically for “finding that joy.”

If I know I have a stressful week coming up with work I’ll schedule in an early morning walk outside somewhere or I’ll make sure one evening I put time aside to have a nice bath, read a book and scoff a bar of chocolate.

Remind yourself of the things that make you feel content or connected to life and schedule them in.