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AIBU?

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Original poster

Feeling pressure to send Dd to holiday club

53 replies

Diggingforgold · 09/07/2025 14:38

I don’t work during the summer holidays and have Dd, 6 with me at home. We have a nice back garden, trampoline, pool etc. She plays with two friends nearby 2-3 times per week. The other days we take our dog for walks, go on bike rides, bake, do some art, watch films, go to the beach, shopping, cafes, parks/playgrounds etc
I’m noticing that friends are sending their kids to holiday clubs, even those who don’t need to for reasons of needing to work etc. They say kids get bored without other kids.
I can maybe afford to do a day or two per week, do kids need this, especially with my Dd being an only?
I never went to holiday clubs and our mum didn’t do nearly as many activities or days out as I do, I did have a brother and sister though

OP posts:
PutThe · 09/07/2025 15:31

She will need social interaction with other DC, and it might be hard on you to entertain her all the days she's not with friends. If she wants to go, you could use it as a replacement for any of the more expensive activities you might do?

AmyDudley · 09/07/2025 15:35

No need to send her at all, it sounds like you have a lovely time together at home. I never sent mine to holiday club, I think my DS once went to a day long sports club, but mostly they were more than happy to play at home, or go to the beach etc.

If you are worried about her socialising (and I don't think you need to be, she presumably plays with other children at school) then have a few playdates, or look out for local day/morning events that you can go to together Our library does loads of things for kids in the summer - craft mornings, gardening actvities, etc.

AmyDudley · 09/07/2025 15:37

Just noticed she plays with friends nearby several times a week- so she is getting plenty of socialising

itispersonal · 09/07/2025 15:39

I used to send my dd to a holiday camp for a couple of days for a couple of the weeks. It was a break I needed from her and she is an only and it broke up the summer holidays. She now does a week long one as part of her hobby, so she enjoys it more than it being a random one.

but if you don’t want to, you don’t have to.

MyNavyPlayer · 09/07/2025 15:39

I am an only, and my mum was a SAHM so no need for holiday clubs in the summer. It was great. A proper break from school and time to decompress. She is seeing friends 2-3 times a week so isn’t deprived of socialising. If she’s happy then it’s fine. I think it’s healthy for kids not to be constantly scheduled and on the go. I have to send mine to clubs and wish they could have more downtime.

CatKings · 09/07/2025 15:40

Does she want to go? If she does I’d send her, take the advantage of doing something yourself without her.

Maray1967 · 09/07/2025 15:43

Mine just saw friends maybe once a week on play dates? DS2 in particular hated holiday clubs. I tried a local activity one - no good for him. He just about tolerated our church craft- based one, because I was there.

Bradley28 · 09/07/2025 15:44

I have a similar set up at home - nice garden, live close to the beach etc, but I’m putting my son (8) into a holiday club for a couple of days a week this summer. He enjoys the company of other children and it’s at the secondary school he will likely attend in a few years. So all round I think it’s something that will be a good experience for him, and break up the time at home.
It gives me time to catch up on jobs around the house as well.

Itsjustnotthevibe · 09/07/2025 15:44

It's absolutely not necessary. I often found holiday clubs to be a bit shit to be honest. I think I sent mine on the odd occasion when I didn't really need to but only because they had a friend that was going so wanted to go. I am happy now that I can work it so they don't have to go to one. If you are that bothered then invite her friends over or arrange park trips with other parents.

Criteria16 · 09/07/2025 15:48

I think there is nothing wrong in not sending her to be honest, but it really depends on the circumstances.
Does she get bored of the activities you are planning to offer?
Do you have other commitments during the day?
Do you have budget for it?

We both work full time, so for us it's not an option sending DS to a holiday club. But, also, he's an only child, super active and super social. We will take some time off, and some days he will be just here with us (but we will need to take turns working) but some clubs offer very nice activities I know he really likes and his best friends also go to some of these clubs so we normally coordinate with the parents and send them together for having fun.

MyMilchick · 09/07/2025 15:50

Who is making you feel pressured? The only opinion you need to listen to is your daughters, she's in school the rest of the year with other children, she doesn't need to go to summer camp

ranoutofquinoaandprosecco · 09/07/2025 15:51

If you and your DD are happy without clubs don’t send her. Those days are precious, enjoy them.

tealandteal · 09/07/2025 15:54

In your situation I would only send her if she asks to go. It sounds like you have a lovely holiday planned with lots of social interaction and time for relaxing. I’m jealous! DH and I both work but we are not using holiday clubs as DS2 is not old enough and DS1 would absolutely hate it (ASD). She isn’t missing out, especially if it’s a generic holiday club and not a week of dance/gymnastics/music etc.

Cakeandusername · 09/07/2025 16:04

It depends on her and her personality.
I used to go to a play scheme for a few hours in school hols even though my mum was a teacher so off work.
The nice thing is you can access the cheap short holiday clubs that are sometimes offered at leisure centres etc not the expensive 8-5 childcare sort.
Some clubs are based around a sport or hobby. My dc did dance and gymnastics. The dance one they got to try all different styles.

InfoSecInTheCity · 09/07/2025 16:16

I have always used them for some of the holiday for DD (well except the Covid years when we couldn’t and I nearly had a nervous breakdown trying to work full time while entertaining a 5yr old). We have an absolutely amazing holiday club run by the Outdoor pursuits centre they do kayaking, rock climbing, bushcraft, archery and all sorts of amazing stuff. As an only child and with no other kids in the extended family I wanted to make sure she had regular access to playing with other kids and to do fun, practical, risky, adventurous activities.

If you can facilitate fun activities because you’re not having to work during the holidays and your DC can socialise with other kids then I don’t really see the need for holiday clubs in your circumstances.

OutingHobbyWife · 09/07/2025 16:38

Your summer plans sound lovely op. We did similar when ours were that age, although they did also spend a couple of days at the local church holiday club (free!). That was usually only a morning not a full day though, they'd maybe have a friend over afterwards or go to someone's house. It came from the dc though, if they hadn't wanted to go I wouldn't have felt I needed to send them.

Ninja2 · 09/07/2025 16:44

Why would you feel pressured? You do what you want and let them do what they want. I have 3 children who have never been in a holiday club (they’re too old now) because we didn’t need to use them.

MinnieMountain · 09/07/2025 16:55

I work 3 days a week and DH works 5. DS goes to MIL’s when we’re both working. He thinks holiday clubs sound too much like school.

DublinLaLaLa · 09/07/2025 16:59

I’m a teacher. We’re away for 4 weeks of the holdiays but they are going for a day per week for the two weeks when we’re at home. Mainly for my sanity! 🤪

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 09/07/2025 17:04

Definitely different things work for different children.

But also, people will always be trying to justify their own choices. Thats what those parents have chosen to do, so they’re trying to justify their choice by criticising yours.

MustBeThursday · 09/07/2025 17:33

I do sometimes send DC2 to a club (multi sports or dancing) for a few days in the long holidays despite me having school holidays off, because she enjoys it and benefits from being able to burn off some energy (very active child and the dance one is at her dance school), and partly because DC1 is autistic and benefits from the quiet time

honeylulu · 09/07/2025 18:17

It sounds like you don't need to and you are both enjoying the current set up. I think i would have loved that when I was 6. I preferred being with my mum/at home/near home more than anything else. As you say she plays with friends a few times and you're out and about a lot doing fun stuff. She might want to be "busier" when she's older but 6 is really still quite little.

I worked FT so ours went to holiday club a lot. They are quite gregarious and like lots of activities etc so it suited them. But even so they could get moany about going 5 days a week as it's quite a long day. Since covid and hybrid working I only sent youngest tue-thurs. She gets a bit bored on Mondays and Fridays but then looks forward to club so it's a nice balance. She's going to secondary in September so I've only booked a few odd days at club. She's going to have to get used to being bored in the holidays after that!

BendingSpoons · 09/07/2025 18:19

Ours don't need to go to holiday club and have no interest in going. In your situation, I would use the money towards some days out instead. Lots of time with you and meeting friends a few times a week sounds lovely.

boulevardofbrokendreamss · 09/07/2025 18:48

Mine used to spend a week every summer at a camp for their sport, completely their choice. I wouldn’t have sent them to a holiday camp that is essentially childcare though.!we just didn’t need it.

Endofyear · 09/07/2025 19:08

I think it's fine for your little one to be at home with you - do you have friends with children that you spend time with? When mine were small we would often have friends over, kids would play in the paddling pool and mums would sit and watch and chat, we'd all have lunch together. If you think your little one would enjoy holiday club and playing with friends there, there's no harm in sending her a few times in the holidays.