Why do some people just seem to blow up their lives?

[NoNameMum]

Just that really. I have an acquaintance that I’ve known for a while.
He moved to the other end of the country with his family for a job. The job he did meant that the house and the car he owned were associated with the job. He was seemingly happily married with two kids.

It then emerged that he was having an affair with someone he’d met through the job, where it could be seen as an abuse of trust/power.

So within a matter of weeks, he has lost his marriage, his house, his car. He’s obviously been sacked so won’t have references.
He’s had to move back to where he’s originally from so hundreds of miles from his kids as he’s got nowhere else to go.

It just made me think, what goes through people’s minds? This isn’t just an affair that has ended a marriage, he’s literally blown his whole life up!
Why choose to do it that way, when if you were that unhappy, you could put plans in place to leave without leaving everything around you in tatters.
I’m just so confused about what was going through his head? Or was he just thinking with his …

I think your last sentence probably sums it up!

His poor wife and kids. What a twat.

It may also have been an element of arrogance and ego, thinking he would get away with it all. 🙄

Well he's the sort of guy who would abuse the power of his role at work, so I wouldn't be overly surprised tbh OP.

In the example you have given, it sounds like a classic example of someone who's entire thinking machinery was located in his dangly bits

For power trips. Some people are just walking disasters, best to stay away from people like that.

It's probably as mundane as just believing he wouldn't get caught.

I highly doubt he thought it would end this way and probably wouldn't have done it if he thought it would end like this. He's probably upset he's ruined his life isn't he, he didn't deliberately blow it up, he just didn't think it would happen.

Greg Wallace comes to mind.

Arrogance

Yes the ego and being untouchable, hence why more men take risks without thinking of consequences.
It was perfect for him. He had all the comforts of family and marriage, the neat life, then the fun and feelings on the side. He wants both at the same time because often you can’t have it all.
Though I think a lot of these men are so sick of the comfortable that they want to blow it up and live like a young man again, get turkey teeth and some tattoos.

Could be lots of reasons. Some people are acting out dysfunctional childhood dynamics, some are very entitled and want to eat their cake, some are incredibly selfish, some are desperate for change...

He obviously lacked integrity and it bit him in the arse.

I have no idea. I know a social worker who had inappropriate relationships with teenagers. Lost everything, went to jail, lost his wife and kids, career, house, family turned their backs. Literally nothing left. For a chance to get his dick wet with young teenage girls. I mean what the fucking fuck. Sociopath behaviour.

I have to admit I think this regularly. Some people just seem either incapable of taking care of themselves or are experts in escalating any situation into something worse for themselves than it needs to be.

I've felt sorry for folk in the past and present a and then find they have made bonkers decision after bonkers decision. So it's not always down to bad luck.

Some people just aren't particularly risk averse I guess.

We have a friend who occassionally drink drives. He's in the UK through his job. His wife and kids are here (and the children settled in schools, with nice friends) because of his job. If he loses his job, because he gets done for drink driving, he loses the ability for his entire family to continue living here.

We've spelled out how seriously drink driving is taken here, but it falls on deaf ears.

And haven't informed the police? What if he kills someone? He'll definitely lose his lifestyle then.

He certainly will, yes.

Some people just only see what they want to see and don't think for a minute they'll get caught.

It's often a weird combination of naivety (stupidity sometimes) and arrogance.

People are often also very poor at risk assessment. A couple locally have just been caught leaving their two very young children (under 3s) home alone while he collected her from the train station twice a week. It's about a 45 min round trip. Their defence is "we've been doing it for over a year and it's been fine" showing no realisation that the more often they did it the more chance there was of a problem or of someone spotting it.

The absolute sheer ego of him. I hope his life crumbles.

Has noone thought to call the police when they know he is out drink driving?