Disagree with how often the term ‘achievement’ is thrown around

[SunshineRainbow2]

Post from a friend recently. ‘So proud of my son and his girlfriend for buying their first house at the age of 22. What a fantastic achievement’.

What she fails to mention is that their deposit was gifted by their parents!

I helped my DD buy her first house but didn’t consider it an ‘achievement’ as such!

It’s still an achievement, a milestone for them, and they’d still have had to get the paperwork together, show savings etc. if you argue that then you can argue that people who are luckier eg in obtaining certain jobs etc don’t deserve credit. Life changing things should be acknowledged

100% not an achievement! Quite cringe they see it as such. I could do lots of stuff if people paid for it for me

Well, I consider it an achievement that I've worked my arse off and earned enough to give my children their house deposits when the time comes. I wouldn't post about it on Facebook though!

It's still a tough process - looking at houses, choosing one, negotiating price, finding a good conveyancing solicitor and surveyor, reading through the surveyor's report and acting on it, choosing decor etc. It's a life milestone, whether helped or not. I appreciate it is way more of an achievement these days if young people manage to finance their own home purchase unaided - but how many can do that? Lots of people have help.

They considered it an achievement, you didn't. Who's right, who's wrong. The easiest answer to that is ....who cares

Judging others about something that doesn't impact you is such a waste of energy.

I'm almost feeling a hypocrite writing this 😁😁

'Achievement' is pretty subjective. I have a DPhil. Some people regard them as an achievement, but I don't in my own case because it's just an advanced degree required as a minimum for my field of work. However, if I ever pass my driving test, I will regard that as a huge achievement for me, although it's something many other people do without breaking a sweat in their teens.

Personally, I'd be pretty horrified if my 22 year old child was tying themselves to a boyfriend or girlfriend they'd presumably been with since their late teens at best by buying a property together, regardless of how the deposit was obtained. That to me suggests someone settling for a small, humdrum life. Other people would disagree, and find my rackety but adventurous 20s unenviable.

This sounds unbelievably pedantic. So what if they haven't used the exact right word for it? They're close enough.

I agree, OP. It’s a wonderful step for them, but disingenuous to label it an achievement when they were gifted the deposit. It suggests others who don’t have wealthy families to gift house deposits have achieved less. It’s also in really poor taste to brag about it on Facebook. What is wrong with people these days.

I have similar feelings when people boast on Facebook about end of year results. I have seen posts this week from parents of very young primary school children boasting about their results. My child had rock bottom results at the same age- she also was a wonderful child and had worked hard at school but we later discovered there was a specific SEN issue which caused her to fail all the testing. I had to read about other parents boasting about the results for their 6 and 7 year olds, knowing the school had marked my child as a failure (she absolutely isn’t but that is how the school handled it at the time). It just shows poor taste and a lack of judgment.

YANBU. An achievement isn't something that someone has handed to you on a plate lol.

I was listening to two women in their 30s chatting in playground yesterday. Both had one year olds & both were teachers. Nice area. They were talking about another friend who was having her new house “done” & it was costing double the budget, with the builder. Anyway, it transpired that the third friend isn’t working, hasn’t since having kids (five years).
It’s all Bank Of Mum & Dad. Same with all of my friends (40s).

Milestone? Yes. Achievement? Questionable. I bought my first house at the same age after inheriting some money. I don't consider it an achievement. My solicitor dealt with all the paperwork.

An achievement is so subjective though. I know what point you’re trying to make but perhaps they mean it’s an achievement to move out on your own at 22. Perhaps there are things going on in the background that make this a massive achievement for their son to move out.

I sit on the fence with this one

It’s still an achievement IMO. Even if the deposit was gifted, being financially responsible enough to have a decent credit score at that age, plus having salaries to make a mortgage affordable is all stuff you need to work on to ‘achieve’, not many 22 year olds are in that boat even with generous parents.

It's an achievement for the parents to have saved up their deposit!