To carry hairspray in my pocket

[Cocktailsonthebeachy]

and a big stick…when I go on dog walks, just me and my 6 year old.

I live next to woods and fields, a beautiful place and usually Dh and I take the dog there and our 6 year old, I always feel very relaxed and happy when it’s all of us.

Occasionally if Dh is working late all week, I go on my own with Dd and DDog and I put a small hairspray in my pocket and usually pick up a large stick on my walk from the ground
I don’t find these walks relaxing and it annoys me that I can’t feel as free. It’s unlikely anything were to happen, but if it did, it would be hard for anyone to hear me shout or to get to a safer point quickly

Is it normal to think/act like this? Would you do the same, would you even go in the woods in the first place?

@Ihad2Strokes

Every rape alarm I've had has been really loud. Maybe yours was faulty.

What it's irrational to be concerned about walking alone, as a woman in an unpopulated area? As I've said earlier im a large bloke who can take care of himself, but always keep alert and avoid certain places

Well yes. But more specifically hairspray and a stick? Irrational

They came in a pack of 2 & were both crap, so I doubt they were faulty, but who knows🤷🏻‍♀️.

Do you have any recommendations??

Thanks gif that, I'll have a look at it tomorrow (well today I guess, but after coffee!!£

There's nothing irrational about it!

I understand your anxiety. I walk my dog in the woods daily and have had incidents in the past of being followed or approached by strange men. Only two in 10 years, but both occasions made me alter my route and where I'd be willing to go. My dog is huge and not friendly with strangers though so that gives me the confidence to keep walking (on one of the occasions the creeper tried to come close to me; my dog got so aggressive he turned and ran).

That said, it's never occurred to me to carry weapons (I guess my dog is the weapon!). I think if you're that uncomfortable, you need to go to a different location such as a busy park, or only walk with another adult. Could you try local Facebook groups to see if anyone wants to set up a social walk?

You are not being unreasonable, I feel the same.

It helps me to remember that stranger attacks outdoors are VERY rare. Of course they do happen and we all hear about them because it is so out of the ordinary. Stats wise you’re more likely to be hurt by your DH / in your home by someone you know (sorry maybe that isn’t helpful!!) but yes get a system set up on your phone / personal alarm if it puts you at ease.

I would give up and walk somewhere else. You have tried but you cannot relax and enjoy the walk there.

I can’t believe the amount of people saying you’ll be fine and it’s anxiety - women do get raped and killed ?! It actually happens a lot that people get harmed by strangers .
you are not crazy OP. You are right to be vigilant. We don’t all lives in leafy suburbs .

edited to say I agree with pp about a personal alarm , they are totally legal.

Exactly. Hardly surprising some of us are incredibly concerned and think very carefully where and when we walk outdoors....recently one of my neighbours lost her adult DD. Her body was discovered in a canal in the local area.

This male poster is trying to offer advice here and he is right. It's normal to be wary if walking on your own in isolated areas. Even my own DH would agree with him and has said certain places he definitely would not walk alone at night either.

We live in the countryside and I love walking through woods and remote spots. If it made me anxious, I’d simply not do it and I’d find somewhere that didn’t make me feel this way.

I’ve been going walks alone and even at night for over 3 years and nothing has happened. You need to get a hold of your anxiety

Do you have a link to that as I assume it would be all over the news?

I am surprised by the responses. We’ve had similar threads to this before and the majority of the replies were understanding that being a woman means we do have to think about these things and that carrying something like this is a good idea. Not sure what’s happened between those threads and this one!

I would feel the same as you. I’ve lived both in rough areas of South London and now rurally in Norfolk and I always feel vulnerable when I’m on my own walking. I was mugged in broad daylight in London in a park, and flashed at when out walking in Norfolk. The fear never leaves you.

What sort of dog do you have? I felt incredibly safe with mine as he was over protective if anything, at night he would give a warning growl to any man who approached me he didn’t know, even if I knew them, never attacked or anything just a “I’m watching you don’t you dare” growl

Do you have a link to that as I assume it would be all over the news?

I said where I used to live, why did you assume it was recent?

https://www.scotsman.com/news/family-grieves-for-murdered-farah-2458425

I remember that murder. Absolutely devastating. It can happen to anyone. Just being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

My neighbour is awaiting PM results at the moment as to cause of death of her DD. She's left two young DC behind.

You can carry a legal self defence identifying spray such as this one: https://amzn.eu/d/8rq4nu4

If you carry anything with the intent of using it as a weapon the cps will come down hard on you, what will happen to your child if you go to prison?

Weapons can also be used against you.

It's a tough one, because I believe women should be able to carry something to defend themselves legally, but I get how tricky it could be to make this a law.

And don't carry a big stick to use as a weapon. If you need a stick while out walking your dog then use a proper walkers stick.

My neighbour is awaiting PM results at the moment as to cause of death of her DD. She's left two young DC behind.

That is utterly devastating.

Stranger attacks are rare, which is why women getting murdered by strangers is much bigger news than when it’s by someone they know. Of course it could happen, but where I walk is pretty remote so a wannabe murderer would be pretty bored hanging around on the off chance a lone woman was walking by.

I take much bigger risks every day crossing the road, driving, living with a man and don’t give these a second thought.

Personally I love the countryside and the headspace it gives me too much to worry about something so rare happening.

OK so when would youq use it, when you feel you need too or when you are actually being attacked? If it just when you feel like it and you injured someome with it and the police interview them and they say i want doing anything wrong and you reply i just felt bad dp you think thr police will go its ok the person was hurt carry on?

I feel the same when I walk my small dog alone. In the woods with my husband I’m calm and relaxed but on my own, it feels completely different. I’ve been persisting with the walks but recently my husband said I should avoid walking the woods if I’m on my own as anything could happen and no one would hear me if I called out.