To think if a Mum has asked my dd to come round and play after school ....

[2sugars]

... she might tell me that she was putting my dd into after-school club for an hour first?

Yes - I do. But maybe she thought you knew that her child goes to after school club? Was your dd OK about it?

Wow, yes, of course, how on earth did she register your child?

That's the odd thing seeker, I don't think she does go to ASC every day.

DD was soooo not OK about it. Her mum dropped her off, and while I was bathing her that night she was almost in tears. They apparently have to wear a thin plastic sash, to identify them from all the other children whose mums are hanging about having a natter.

DDs have never been in ASC, and since these sashes are a fairly new introduction dd was naturally a bit intrigued by it, and fiddled. It broke, she went to the woman who runs the ASC and apologised, ASC woman said 'You broke that deliberately. I saw you from the window.'

Now, dd2 is a lot of things, and she rarely (not never, I hasten to add!!) lies, but you know when you get a feeling your child is telling the truth? And what would she gain by telling that lie?

Anyhoooooow, last Thursday I went to the Corpus Christi school mass. ASC was watching the procession in the playground, and I calmly went up and said how disappointed dd2 was to have been accused of deliberately breaking it. ASC woman said she never said that at all. I said I believe my child. She called my child a liar. I said 'How dare you!' probably louder than I should have.

All in the middle of the flipping Corpus Christi procession ......

god that is horrendous! have you spoken to the mother as well? very weird

fairyfly, I've been lucky in that in the 6 years we've been at this school, I've never had to put mine into ASC. But I think you just ask, and your child's name goes on her list, and she's in.

FGS I would have had them here for that hour, had I known. But H picked up dd1 and he agreed to let it go ahead. In fact, it was too late to contact her and say we weren't happy with it anyway.

2sugar, how old is your dd?

Well that is odd in itself as my childrens ASC wanted emergency contacts, numbers, my children Doctor etc......

What do you mean your dh picked them up, did he know it was happening? That's different then.

I wouldn't bother about the strap thing and the leader, it sounds a bit tedious.

I would be cross with the parent though if you didn't give permission.

She's 8 bs. ff, he didn't know until he got to school to pick up dd1, and the friend told him. So too late to do anything about it anyway.

The emergency numbers are held by the school anyway, so they would have all that to hand should they need it.

I think the mum was being kind enough - she paid for dds hour there, but it's just not something I'd do - I'd wait until a day turned up where I could take them both straight home. Or at least ask the other parent if that was OK.

So your friend met your dh at the schoolgate when your dh was picking dd1 up, and so she was physically there. But still left your dd and her dd in the ASC club for an hour?

No, the mum wasn't there. She'd already booked in my dd, it was dd's friend that told my H.

2sugars, sorry, not 'your friend', but 'the Mum'.

Maybe she thought if he had a problem with it he would take her home.

So is the afterschool in her school, the same environment?

Yes, it is. Am I getting my knickers in a twist over nothing?

2sugars, I too would pick a day where I did not have to use the ASC for a playdate, so that it is not so rushed.

it would definitely been the right thing to ask you first if it was ok for your dd to go to the ASC for 1 hour first.

But ... if the Mum did not ask and if your dd did go to ASC first, it is not the end of the world. My dd is 4.5 and loves to go to ASC (she rarely gets the chance). It is an opportunity to play with friends and other children, especially those in other year groups. Same for your dd. She is not at ASC alone. Her friend is there with her. They can play away that hour, as they would have done at home.

The incident with the sash is unfortunate (and a bit perplexing to me). But it is probably an unlucky one-off. I can't generalise from that one time that the ASC at your dd's school is dire.

Whether your dd was 'fiddling out of curiosity' could seem like deliberately breaking it from afar. Granted it is very strange for a grown woman to accuse a child of breaking something especially when your dd came to apologise. And to call your dd a liar to your face. Have a word with the Mum about this ASC lady and see if there have been previous incidents?

The woman should have mentioned it to you, to see what you thought. It's no big deal she was there but it was your decision to make ifyswm.

I wouldn't dream of having a child over and then getting a sitter and it's much like that.

I think if you are offering to have a child you do that and be the sole carer and inform the parents if that will not be the case. Because any decision is yours about where you deem fit for you child to be.

Also it would have been nice for you to have dialogue with your child about going.

I am sure your daughter was fine though and i think it is far less frightening for her as it was in an environmant she was used to.

bs, I suppose it's just unfortunate that firstly dd didn't know she was going into ASC, and secondly that she had such a nasty time there.

And another mum from dd2's class, who was sitting next to ASC woman when I had the run in with her, came up to me after the mass and said quite a few mums had had run ins with her. And just as we were leaving a TA made a point of asking me if I was all right. Bless him.

You're over reacting. What on earth is wrong with going to the ASC for a bit?