To holiday without DSS this year?

[mnforadvice]

I’m ready for a bashing, but would like to hear people’s opinions.

DSS 9, DD 2 and one due very soon. I suggested to DP about us going away to Canaries for October half term however when he mentioned this to ex she has said she is going to book a holiday closer to the time and once she has saved up for her and DSS. She is notorious for not following up with her plans.

AWBU to book a holiday out of school holidays for us and two little ones this year? We’d absolutely love to take DSS too but with only one week for October half term DP does not want him missing any time off school (attendance has been poor in past due to mum keeping him off for basically no reason in the past).

Due to my due date we can’t go abroad this summer however have a holiday to Cornwall booked with all 3 children.

I’ll be so annoyed if she doesn’t book anything in the end, but I have a feeling this is going to happen. For context, DSS has been abroad once before with us when I was pg with toddler. Mum has never taken him abroad but she has been on quite a few herself for hen dos or with partner and DSS has just stayed with us. I suppose we could just wait and see if she does book or not but I’d rather have something sorted and pay in instalments if possible.

Also, I’m not saying an abroad holiday is a must but he loved it last time and we’d really like to get away when the weather turns colder here!

@ChildrenOfTheQuorn I think you may have missed my point, we would like him to come with us. Mum has been abroad without him 4 times in the last year alone.

Plus nothing prevent her to « book closer to the date » for Feb term too.

I do understand the need for her to save up though so did you mention that as a possibility she could pay you in installment instead saving and then access a better price if taken fairly earlier than she planned?

I am not entirely sure what you think on that : is it that she wants or she doesn’t want him to go disregarding the need of saving for more expensive holidays? Or is it that she wants to take him in holidays and so not send him with you?

If they both get along, it isn’t great that she prevents her child to go abroad if the chance is there and she surely can’t expect you to « do it later » so if I were you, I’d book without him and respect the mum’s wishes.

Yours is quite different. Ignore