Resilience workshops in primary

[Sparklybutold]

Has anyone any info on these in practice? We've had some wishy washy notification that yo yos can be purchased for £8, 10 or 13 quid! I did jokingly ask what the heck the yo yos were made of? Can't help but feel the cost off the courses is being subbed by the purchase of yo yos?

I find this particularly cutting when both of my kids are ND and I'm currently going through tribunal with the eldest. Are these classes actually fit for purpose or are they another shite government initiative with zero substance.

and a workshop with expensive yoyos is going to magically teach him that? I'm sorry but I'm just not buying it.

As I've already said, he has amazing resilience skills. Better than some adults.

Yep.

So much this.

‘might need those resilience skills when the effects of childhood trauma come home to roost’

Are you aware how minimizing this sentence comes across? I work with lots of clients with a significant trauma history and the fall out for them mentally and physically has nothing to do with there lack of resilience.

No the more challenging the situation, the
more emotional regulation skillls etc are required !!
the kids where things are not challenging usually are OK until hitting life transitions like leaving school, leaving home
these are the trigger points when older kids struggle and turn to mental health services

what you describe as a sticking plaster for complex societal problems is the backbone to coping with complexity and adversity

@HeadingOutForJog@Kirbert2couldnt have said it better myself.

I agree. My parents thought I was strong. I just hadn't processed anything I'd been through. It hit me like a ton of bricks in my late teens.
ETA It was working on my own resilience that got me through in the end, mindfulness, exercise, meditation, reflection. We can't change the world around us but we can build our own resilience so that we are better able to manage life.

Just hopping on to say this isn’t a new thing. I’m in my 20s and I remember the YoYo man from primary school. I remember it the most as I took £10 from my mums purse to buy one (and got a hiding!!!!!!) The guy was called Ned.

Jesus that makes bleak reading.

https://www.apa.org/topics/resilience/guide-parents-teachers

or read the evidence behind the assertion that kids and a lot of adults need resilience coaching …

I must admit I get a bit antsy when I see this sort of stuff being pushed in schools. Fair enough if it’s optional but I sometimes want to tell the school that it’s my job to parent my child and theirs to educate him.

Appreciate it’s different for ND though?

I think the yoyos are the test at the end of the training. Obviously £8 for a yoyo is stupid, so the parent is expected to say no to the child, they can't have the yoyo. This is an opportunity for the child to demonstrate their newly developed resilience to yoyo based adversity.

Problem is that so much of the time which should be educating is taken up by supporting kids with their mental health / pastoral care / etc …

somethings got to crack ..

@PolyVagalNerveand here within lies the problem within this approach

‘More emotional regulation skills, does not equate to being able to become more resilient’. Ones ability to cope doesn't exist on a nice even line between x and y. Peoples lives and stressors are in constant flux and having a drawer full of emotional regulation skills isn't going to somehow magic this all away. For example... Depression - for someone who is literally in there darkest pits will not become not depressed because of having knowledge of emotional regulation skills. It is yet another one size fits for all approach, which renders itself ineffective or at its worse, actively shames and damages people.

You talk about the kid not able to cope with their environment, most well known example would be someone who is autistic. This is a recognised developmental condition that you can't just will yourself out off. No amount of resilience training will change how this person experiences there world. This is one of many problems with this approach, its far too simplistic and damaging.

It's probably this:

http://www.thenedshow.com/

Are you a resilience coach? Or something similar.

The article reads very nicely. But lets not try and pretend it's something more than a pop psychology piece. A nicely written and tidy article.

and you know what? Sometimes shit things happen and it is perfectly fine to acknowledge that with your child. I don't see how constant positivity when something is clearly shit builds resilience at all.

any person who has ability to use emotion reg skills etc will be able to weather adversity more effectively …

agree a good example is someone with neurodiversity ..

what does someone with ND need ?
understanding of what works for them, what proves difficult

how to communicate / access reasonable adjustments

How to regulate emotions, self care and problem solve in order to function alongside other skills are what specialist autism services coach …

you can’t avoid the fact that humans need to have the skills to meet their basic activities of daily living, manage moods and emotions and be able to use basic problem solving skills

many are not taught this in the home to their detriment -

these basics are what schools, mental health services etc etc are trying to help people develop or access the support from carers who can help them do this -

It’s clearly written for the pop psychology audience -
The authors - Clinical psycholgists are able to write in peer reviewed publications but that isn’t accessible
to many readers - hence stripping it back to the principles

Constant positivity is not resilience training -

it’s about being able to cope with adversity without self destructive behaviours

I don't see how constant positivity when something is clearly shit builds resilience at all.

It doesn't and actually when you think about it, probably leads to burnout quicker than the simple acknowledgement that life isn't fair sometimes, and its OK to be pissed off about that. I've taught mine to set their bar low when it comes to happiness, you wake up, you are winning at life, if you can improve on that, all the better !

I'm still failing to see how a workshop is going to manage that.

It's still a no from me. I'd be opting my son out.

Ok, I give up !!!

just don’t be that person that opts out of something that may actually benefit you / your kids and then bleat on later … oh there is no support !!!

and if you / your kids are unfortunate to end up in mental health services in the future.. guess what ? They will be trying to help you develop

emotional regulation skills
employ self care
have problem solving skills …

aka : resilience !!

@PolyVagalNerve People develop mental illness despite being resilient, some of the people I know who are diagnosed with severe mental illness are also some of the most resilient humans I have ever met.

As I've already said, my child doesn't need resilience training. He already is incredibly resilient after everything he has been through.

He could lead a resilience workshop.

Have you actually said this to an Autistic adult? Your post is incredibly patronising for a start. It is a polite way of suggesting ABA for autistic people? I am a survivor of significant child abuse in the care system. Which by the way Care Leavers see the word RESILIENCE as offensive. I am also Autistic and a professional. I firetrucking survived because I had no choice. I do not need to attend a resilience class. I would certainly not be advocating for a SEND child to attend a resilience class. This honestly reminds me of the crap a senior manager came out with at work one Christmas. We must go around the room and state what we are grateful for. I honestly wanted to say I am grateful my husband takes me away at this time of year so I do not need to pretend to celebrate Christmas. Which for me was hell on earth as a child.